20 week scan partner not allowed

[Firsttimemummywilson]

I have my 20 week scan next week and rang to check it was going ahead today in light of the Coronavirus advice but I was told I have to go on my own without my husband. Has anyone else been told this? I know they usually do not allow you to film the scan but do you think it's reasonable to make an exception. Just really sad he will miss this as he wasn't able to attend my 12 week one :(

Op wasn't the original question whether they'll make an exception to you filming the scan? I hope they do if it gives you a bit of extra support. Stay strong x

Partner’s weren’t allowed in the birth room in the 1960s and 70s, my DGM went through three births including a stillbirth without my DGD present. I think you can survive a 20 week scan alone.

I think most trusts are limiting to one birth partner and then heavily limiting visitors afterwards.

The negativity and sarcasm that comes from a lot of Netmums posters REALLY infuriates and disheartens me!

WHY do women have to be so disparaging of other women who think and feel differently to them?!

OP, I’m sure you’re well aware that way back when women had scans on their own the their husbands used to sit in the waiting room smoking cigars as drinking whisky whilst their children were being born.

Also, I’m sure you’re well aware of the NEED for these measures and the reasons why they are being implemented.

However that does NOT mean you are throwing a tantrum (as one poster so kindly suggested) or are being unreasonable for being upset and frustrated at the situation!

Just because something was done one way does not mean times don’t change and it can’t be done another! We used to think the world was flat..

OP I’m 23 weeks pregnant and very sad at the prospect of my husband not being around for future scans! And the fact that these measures are necessary doesn’t stop me being pissed as hell!

Pregnant women are hormonal and scared every second of the day and no more so than at the dreaded ‘anomaly scan’ where we can get the worst news! But, genuinely, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for! You can do this! IF your news is bad, it wrong change it being bad with your husband in the room! As soon as it’s over you can be together! Also the chances are everything will be ok!

xxx

Netmums? U ok hun?

Sorry if it’s already been said in previous posts but have t read them all. Will my DH be allowed to my 12week scan in a couple of weeks?

Oh ffs @FlyFishingg because it wasn’t clear I meant mumsnet 🙄??

@gg321 depends on your Trust/hospital hun! Give them a call or look online x

@gg321
Very likely not.

Someone said to me today just because people are starving around the world doesn't stop you feeling hungry.

I think it's perfectly OK to be upset about a situation, wish it could be changed or wasn't so, but understand it is what it is too.

@gg321 totally depends on your trust. You need to call and ask

I had a hospital appointment today to see the Consultant, same waiting area as scans. It was busy and I was the only person there alone, two women had two visitors with them and three families had brought their children with them!
There were signs up saying only one visitor and this person cannot change for the duration of your stay but nobody was enforcing it or challenging it.

I had to go in by myself today and send my partner downstairs. But at the exact same time as we were saying we understood, another woman was crying and her partner was allowed in seconds after I went to the waiting room alone! From what I heard we were both there for the exact same first dating scan. And then they let another woman bring her partner and child in while I sat like a lemon by myself. Obviously I would have loved my partner to be there but hello, global pandemic??

It felt SO unfair. Like we were being punished for doing the right thing. Who's to say they might not have brought the virus in and put me at risk?!

Sorry, I'm just venting, I'm fuming that within seconds of us agreeing the rule, however new it is, was completely flouted because of some tears. And the nurses saying Oh it's hard when you have no warning and how they can't bear the tears didn't really make me feel much better!

It was OK in the end, everything was OK and baby looked fine but my partner could have been there to see his first child same as hers got to be, except we didn't push it because hello, global pandemic?

Very disappointing for you both but sadly necessary.

@bogoblin Sorry, that's really shit. You did the right thing, but I know that's not much consolation. Some people are just totally selfish cunts.

Thanks, it totally sucks but I suppose it's done now, got it off my chest!

On the plus side the lady gave me my scan photos for free though!

I'm sorry @bogoblin, its not fair when people abuse the rules. I'm glad your scan went well

Thank you Treacle!

It's our first so seeing it just chilling out there and wiggling about was totally surreal!

Best place for it to be right now

My hospital is also asking people to attend alone. But they have said that partners can wait outside (the building) or in the car, in exceptional circumstances (I assume bad news) that they are allowed in.

When I went on Wednesday, Everyone was alone, and everyone was being friendly to each other, and the midwifes / staff where really nice, as they understood we are all alone, and probably anxious.

I would say go with your partner, but ask him to wait outside or in the car, and that way if you do need him, he would be there x

Just for info, not all hospitals are currently not allowing partners in to scans - I'm sat in the scan waiting room right now (having another glucose tolerance test, yay) and all the coronavirus signage here just says one companion only, no kids. That may well change, of course - but it's worth checking with the individual hospital concerned.

I asked yesterday and my hospital said I can bring one person only, so of course it will be my husband.

I think it may depend on the hospital I would
Of thought regardless of having to social distancing yourself partner should be allowed just as much as the mother is I had my 20 week scan on Friday and my partner was allowed and they hadn't said any new rules to me xx

As for your partner not being allowed at the birth, I would end up staying at home too long and giving birth there if it meant I had his support. I couldn't do it without him and he would be devastated not to be there. It's for our wellbeing that we have that support there surely? Scans I understand but the actual birth of his child would be too much. Especially if you can prove you've both self isolated for a set time before the birth.