Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Corona virus - Am I being unreasonable?

46 replies

MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 19:01

So, before I say this, I know the answer is YES but, just wondered if any other mammas feel the same!

I am 23 weeks pregnant and now need to social distance/self isolate for 12 weeks. I can WFH which is good because I know a lot of other mammas aren’t so lucky and are worried about their jobs/money.

HOWEVER my husband has just gone for a nice workout at the gym and is off for lunch (at a restaurant) with his colleagues tomorrow and is off to Birmingham this weekend for Mother’s Day!

Now I know I am in special Pregnant Woman quarantine and that if I wasn’t I could go to the gym and restaurants too but it feels like his actions are like having a drink in front of an alcoholic... especially since today I have had to cancel: a trip to London, Mother’s Day with my momma, a visit to Leeds to see some friends, a visit to Edinburgh to see my family and my baby shower!

Trying to remain calm and not get angry but it’s irking me and the more I think about it upsets me!

Anyone else I’m the same boat? xx

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 17/03/2020 19:03

Your husband shouldnt be doing all of that what about social distancing

Your issue is your husband isnt following advice and you are. He should be making sure that he protects you as much by making sure he doesnt bring it home not going out as much as he possibly came

DragonNight · 17/03/2020 19:04

Yep. My DH thinks he's exempt from the guidance and I had to tell on him to his mother last night to stop him going to a sports club.

Marieo · 17/03/2020 19:04

Are you more worried or annoyed?

Papoy · 17/03/2020 19:09

Is he for real ???

He should also be at home with you... That advice applies to you and him both.

Tell him to come home immediately !!!

Original poster
MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 19:10

@Marieo I can’t tell right now as I’m having a bit of a hormone surge I think as I’ve deffo been more emotional the last few days!

Annoyed I think! A bit bitter that he is doing all this stuff and I can’t? I know I get a baby in the end and that’s the ultimate and most important prize but... annoyed :(

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 17/03/2020 19:11

You're right to be annoyed. My husband has cancelled his gym membership, taking unpaid leave (not really his choice but he previously requested to work from home) and will not be socialising.

MsChatterbox · 17/03/2020 19:11

P.s. He is doing these things because there is no point going through the effort of isolating of you are socialising with someone that is not isolating.

HelloViroids · 17/03/2020 19:13

Am 21 weeks - DH can WFH so he will do social isolating with me. What’s the point in you isolating if he’s bringing germs back with him after all his jaunts?!

HelloViroids · 17/03/2020 19:13

@MsChatterbox cross posted but I think we’re saying the same thing Smile

Original poster
MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 19:14

Ok so the gym and restaurants yes but what about visiting him mum this weekend? She’s 55 and my mum is 70 also his Nan is 94 (not in a care home) and he wants to see her understandably...

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 17/03/2020 19:18

Of course he cant go around doing all this stuff and interact with you and his Nan

He shouldnt be doing it either - there is not point you quarantining yourself and living with him

Its people like him which will mean lockdown comes sooner and for longer

ejmay90 · 17/03/2020 19:24

My other half has cancelled both our gym memberships for time being, not going out and is pretty much acting like he's the pregnant one too lol

Papoy · 17/03/2020 19:26

"I know I get a baby in the end and that’s the ultimate and most important prize"

You both get it... so the sacrifice is not on you alone !

BreakfastAtTiffany · 17/03/2020 19:31

No point you isolating if he isn’t! He’ll pass anything he picks up straight on to you. Isolation applies to you both.

dennisdonut · 17/03/2020 19:32

He should be self isolating too. No visits, no gym or restaurants.

StealthMama · 17/03/2020 19:34

So he's happy to be putting his entire family at risk?

His he impaired in some way? Does he not understand the guidance for some reason? Does he have secret immunity...???

Honestly. What a div.

Baby00 · 17/03/2020 19:35

I would be annoyed too, as others have said what is the point of you isolating. My husband didn't give it a second though and is working from home!

turtletum · 17/03/2020 19:37

I'm 36 weeks pregnant. My oh is wfh as am I from today. We're both doing social distancing, although he's braving the supermarket shop and doing the nursery run. No gym, no restaurants for either of us. Your oh is being wildly unreasonable and sound like he's putting you, his mum and his nan at risk too.

Coffeenofilter · 17/03/2020 19:37

Agree with others. My husband, and all other household members, have happily entered isolation with me, because they understand they're doing it to protect me and the baby. No point in me home alone and everyone else going out and gathering illnesses to bring back to the house! So we're all restricting to bare minimum.

Original poster
MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 19:40

Ok I get the support and I appreciate it but please don’t husband bash! He is a very kind and generous husband and has been with me every step of the way! He’s just not thinking things through right now! This is all very new and some people aren’t as Intuitively on it as others...

I have Just had a (very tearful - fucking hormones) convo with DH and he agrees no more gym and restaurant visits!

My mum is still popping in to see meso I think it’s fair for him to see his mum and Nan in Birmingham! None of them have symptoms and they aren’t going out!

My only query now is, he CANNOT WFH and financially we can’t have him take unpaid leave! He is the main salary in this household...

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 17/03/2020 19:41

Actually I dont think either of you get it

I could go to the gym and restaurants too

No you couldnt. Im not pregnant and these things have stopped

Quartz2208 · 17/03/2020 19:43

he cant see his 94 year old Nan either Im afraid it just isnt safe particularly as he cant work from home and has been out and about

Its horrible and awful but it is what it is for everyone

Original poster
MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 19:44

@Quartz2208 yes ok you’re right - current PM guidance is to avoid pubs/bars/restaurants etc

But please can we keep this civil, un-judgmental and supportive! Mumsnet is great but can get b aggressive and Toxic

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 17/03/2020 19:57

I didnt mean to be aggressive Im sorry its just frustrating that if these measures dont show the necessary flattening of the curve a complete lockdown is going to follow.

A lockdown that will be longer and sooner than needed because people dont follow the guidance.

Being stuck at home apart from popping to the shops and going for walks and bike rides is preferrable to what could come with police and army on the street and needed a form to leave the house

Original poster
MrsRose2018 · 17/03/2020 20:04

It’s fine :) It’s also a message to the other mumsnet users! This is a wonderful forum but my god! You only need to read the posts about gender disappointment, breastfeeding, and flu jabs to see how aggressive and toxic this forum can get!

My husband is neither impaired nor a Div! He is an indescribably kind, if not slightly slow, man who has been with me though miscarriages, years of mental health issues and many family bereavements!

We’ve talked through everything and he agrees seeing his Nan, going to restaurants and the gym makes no sense! We are just now trying to figure out what to do about his job!

OP posts: