Corona virus - Am I being unreasonable?

[MrsRose2018]

So, before I say this, I know the answer is YES but, just wondered if any other mammas feel the same!

I am 23 weeks pregnant and now need to social distance/self isolate for 12 weeks. I can WFH which is good because I know a lot of other mammas aren’t so lucky and are worried about their jobs/money.

HOWEVER my husband has just gone for a nice workout at the gym and is off for lunch (at a restaurant) with his colleagues tomorrow and is off to Birmingham this weekend for Mother’s Day!

Now I know I am in special Pregnant Woman quarantine and that if I wasn’t I could go to the gym and restaurants too but it feels like his actions are like having a drink in front of an alcoholic... especially since today I have had to cancel: a trip to London, Mother’s Day with my momma, a visit to Leeds to see some friends, a visit to Edinburgh to see my family and my baby shower!

Trying to remain calm and not get angry but it’s irking me and the more I think about it upsets me!

Anyone else I’m the same boat? xx

what job does he do. If he cant wfh he cant but I think you should look at measures to ensure he limits contmination, make sure his shoes and coat come off and stay by the door he washes his hands as soon as he comes in and limits touching his face etc.

It is a difficult difficult thing to get our heads around though as it is so alien to us

But we haven't been told to self isolate yet just social distancing.

we have been told: news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-pm-urges-britons-to-avoid-pubs-restaurants-and-theatres-11958549

Boris Johnson has told Britons to avoid pubs, clubs, restaurants and theatres and to only make essential journeys in the "national fightback" against coronavirus.

"That means that if possible you should not go out, even to buy food or essentials, other than for exercise and in that case at a safe distance from others," Mr Johnson said.

And, in advice for all Britons - even if they are not displaying symptoms - the prime minister added: "Now is the time for everyone to stop non-essential contact and to stop all non-essential travel."

My point is that social distancing is what we have been told self isolating is when you have symptoms (or been in contact with someone) and if we dont use social distancing properly self isolation and lockdown will come.

He’s an account manager for a huge security company! We’ve just been discussing this and he thinks he can do Skype meetings/quotes/proposals from
Home but meeting engineers and doing surveys is 70% of his work and if he can’t do that he can’t do the other - chicken and an egg thing!

He knows his work will shut down eventually but it’s like that thing with the restaurants arm! The higher echelons in the company haven’t shut them down so they can’t down tools or will lose money/jobs!

I'm 35+3 and my husband and I are both Police Officers. I am due to go on maternity leave next Friday and am a Detective so office based and at this stage of pregnancy only really in contact with colleagues. Not way I can work from home.

My husband is in a slightly more front line uniformed role but quite specialist so not massive contact with members of the public, although obviously some contact and you never know where the shift will take you.

I am not really clear on how seriously I should be taking the whole social distancing as obviously we still have to work in our jobs...

Our other kids are Home Educated so no schools, all of our groups and classes are closed so won't be going anywhere other than work.

Even once my maternity leave starts my husband will still be in and out for work?

Sorry to gatecrash your thread op!

then he should keep 6 feet away use his own pens and not shake hands or have physical contact whilst on a site visit. If he can drive there as well in his own car that he can keep clean. Then follow procedures when he gets home

Awh fuck I hadn’t seen that article! My mum has still been popping round - no touching and washing hands as soon as she gets in/leaves!

I don’t think I can cope without her for 3 months!!

@ Pinkpeoniesplease you gatecrash away! This affects everyone with a partner and there hasn’t been clear cut advice on what THEY should do!

Solidarity and sticking together is what we need and what this forum should be for! Sharing advice

Xx

I would urge other halfs to social distance themselves. I'm 37 weeks and myself and my husband have had to isolate for 14 days as he has a temperature. If I go into labour within the next 14 days he will not be allowed at the birth. Not worth the risk.

I would be the same m. I have been in tears all day after my boyfriend said he went to McDonald’s at lunch- I am not jealous but was so unhappy that he wasn’t following advice to distance from unnecessary trips and food, especially when he doesn’t know who has touched and coughed near it. I feel so miserable that I have to self isolate for 12 weeks and other people around me are/could be being selfish in my opinion.

Have your mum around but follow the washing hands etc with her and her shoes/coat etc

@Saxon2016 I didn't even think about them not being allowed at the birth! Or having to isolate in the first days or weeks of baby's life

Jesus the birth and thereafter! Neither did it!!

These risks to the elderly and frail and pre term labour... is it worth it for 3 months isolation??

All very sad and stressful though!!

Sorry I don't think anyone was trying to husband bash. I myself was saying these things in support of you. No one said he wasn't a good person. Just pointed out that yes you are right to be annoyed as you asked in your post and yes he should be staying home with you as much as possible.

then he should keep 6 feet away use his own pens

Don’t mean to make light of a serious issue but I read that as he should use his own penis. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi @MsChatterbox one of the posters specifically called him ‘impaired’ and a ‘Div’.

My DH, like a lot of husbands, can be a little slow on the uptake but he is 100% wonderful!

I know this is a stressful and emotional time but only im allowed to call him names 😉

And, thank you for your support! It is truly appreciated! We had a VERY long and productive talk and he is going to self isolate with me “as much as his job allows”. So no friends/colleagues/gym/rest/restaurants etc for the foreseeable. He is going to WFH unless he can’t avoid going to surveys/meeting engineers and even then he’s going to do what @Quartz2208 suggested about hygiene!

He is also going to speak with his mum today about visiting! The mother issue is very upsetting for us both and his momma isn’t quite as understanding as mine!

x

thats sounds all really good OP and he sounds like a good husband.

The mother issue is quite upsetting yes I can see that its so awful. Hopefully the 3/4 months is true and you can come together when the baby is born

@MrsRose2018 I’m in the first trimester and luckily (in some sense live alone / no DP).

I had this argument with my Employer, as he said we are a small office, surely the risk is low and you can come in and not WFH. But the guy I sit next too, is still going to the gym every lunch time, getting the train to and from the office, eating in public places, and going to pubs in the evening. What is the point in me social distancing, not seeing my friends and family (who are probably not doing them things) and then coming and sitting next to him, sharing a desk, telephone, computer. There isn’t imo! He’s agreed I can work from home, but I just won’t be able to meet Enginnerr, Clients Or Contractors on sites, so what I can do is limited.

Glad your husband has listened, and made some changes. I think if he will find the number of face to face meetings decreases over the next few weeks, with things slowly closing down.

Oh sorry I didn't see that comment!! I take it back that was deffo husband bashing haha.

My husband also works in a job that can’t be done from home (armed forces). He is going to work in the car rather than by public transport, and we are limiting (but not completely cutting) contact with other people. The dog still needs walking (no garden) and we still need food. You can only do what you can do!

@ParisInTheSpringtime you’re absolutely right we can only do what we can do! And kudos to your husband still going out there in times like this!

My husband isn’t in such an important job but there are times where he may not be able to avoid going out for work - he’s WFH/isolating with me (now 😂) unless he can’t avoid it! And when he can’t he’s just gonna touch anything/anyone and shower/disinfect as soon as he gets in!

Deffo still walk your dog! We are going for an isolation walk in the parks this weekend :)