Terrified and would like a c section

[Bearbunch]

Hi all just looking for some advice. I live in NI for a start. I am so so absolutely terrified of giving birth, this is my first so I've never experienced it.. It seems to be this deep rooted fear that has sprung itself on me. I'm only 14 weeks and not due to see my mid wife for another 3 weeks. I was wondering if I can just request a section or would I have to go private? I never thought I would have this feeling before getting pregnant but here I am 🙈

Please spare me stories of why I shouldn't get a c section I have spoken to everybody I know who has given birth they all had really positive stories, tried hypnobirthing and read through the positive birth book. None of which have helped!! Tia x

OP, if you're still willing to give natural birth some thought, you might want to consider hiring a doula.

I was just as terrified of childbirth as you are, in fact that's the reason I had been putting off having kids until I was 36. The fear was crippling.

But with the help of my doula (not going to lie, Hypnobirthing and the right books helped too) I am now feeling very optimistic about it and can't wait to push this baby out (due in 17 days!!).

I'm hoping for a water birth which means I won't be allowed epidural, but even that doesn't frighten me anymore. It's amazing how much our attitudes can change with the right help.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx

I think it would be abnormal to not fear giving birth, it's unpredictable & highly likely to be painful. What's to like? However I also think having major surgery is scary. I had a "good" vb & an elective for breech dc2. My CS recovery was good but I was shocked to be booted out the next day & not have any pain relief. After my appendicitis I was kept in for 3 days on morphine. I personally think CS recovery is way harder & I would always chose a VB if possible. I actually felt much more out of control through the CS as I was a passive spectator, strapped down & couldn't feel my legs. urghh hated that.

oh & I had no pain relief with dc1 (no time) & the contractions were very bad but the stinging was less so.

I'm loving the description from a pp of "natural" births involving epidurals and induction I think you might mean vaginal delivery, natural sound like a pain relief free, as Mother Nature intended type thing. Not for me, and not for most women, in the end.
OP this thread is a bit crazy and less reasoned than other threads I've seen about experiences of elective c sections. Experience of emergency c section is also very different - the worst of both worlds really if you have to have surgery after an exhausting labour - but ultimately no one knows what their birth experience would have been like if they'd gone for the other option.

@Bearbunch. Info from NICE guidelines, you might find It helpful

Maternal request for CS

When a woman requests a CS because she has anxiety about childbirth, offer referral to a healthcare professional with expertise in providing perinatal mental health support to help her address her anxiety in a supportive manner. [new 2011]

For women requesting a CS, if after discussion and offer of support (including perinatal mental health support for women with anxiety about childbirth), a vaginal birth is still not an acceptable option, offer a planned CS. [new 2011]

An obstetrician unwilling to perform a CS should refer the woman to an obstetrician who will carry out the CS. [new 2011]

You cannot LEGALLY drive when you’ve had a c section, regardless if you ‘feel’ like it or not.

@Herpesfreesince03 This is bollocks. My insurance said I could drive when medics advised. Medics advised as long as I could do an emergency stop I could drive. Therefore I was driving 4 weeks after a C section.

They also used a ventouse to bring baby down during my CS. My aunt is a surgeon & she told me even when I felt able to I should rest & take it easy to allow healing on the inside.

I was the same about giving birth - terrified about everything to do with it. I did hypnobirthing which completely changed my mindset - it was more like therapy to be honest. I was actually excited about going into labour.

In the end I had a long labour, and ended up with an emergency c section, but none of it felt scary or traumatic at all - I felt very calm and in control and recovery was pretty quick really (although I have never felt exhaustion like it). am a very anxious / panicky person and can’t quite believe how well I coped through the whole thing!

Wishing you all the best, whatever you decide.

Like others, suggest at such an early stage you don't on yourself down into one mindset or decision. But do discuss the possibility.

I had an emcs after really wanting a natural birth and being more anxious submit having to have a csec. It was my nightmare situation. But anyway.

A good birth experience you need to be calm and feel in control. If a csec enables that then worth it. But i still feel the effects of mine 3 months later. I healed quickly and i can do everything i used to, but i can still feel the difference around my scar. It's numb and i"notice" it when i get up. Practically it doesn't effect me, but i notice the difference. And i do think i still find getting up different to how i was before pregnancy.

I elected to have a CS with my fourth DC after precious traumatic deliveries involving forceps due to shoulder dystocia after a 24 hour back to back labour (NOT fun, the contractions were constant and it was horrendous) and also a massive haemorrhage. Despite my history, the consultants tried to talk me out of a CS at literally every level. I had one consultant tell me I would definitely end up having a hysterectomy . A consultant came in to try talking me out of it when I was sitting in my scrubs waiting to go to theatre ffs.

The CS went really well, I was so glad I chose that. It was much smoother than my vaginal deliveries and the recovery period was a similar length. Now pregnant again and will be having another ELCS, kinda wish I’d had a CS every time tbh.

If your worried about tearing maybe look at getting an Aniball or an Epino, they help prepare you downstairs for birth. It sounds weird but it helps stretch you reducing significantly the likelihood of needing an episiotomy or severe tearing. It might also help you feel more in control and prepared for birth.

I bought an Aniball for my first pregnancy but ended up going into labour at 37 weeks with a breech baby and had a csection. So I only used it once as you start using it at 36 weeks. Positive experience with the CS and wouldn't change it but they struggled to get the needle in my back so with my next baby due in September I either need to have a vaginal birth or a csection under general anaethetic. I really want to avoid the GA so I'll try anything to make a VB straightforward!!

I have been nervous to come back to this thread after my panic on Friday. And I just want to thank everybody for your input!

I do think it's an anxiety problem that I have, not about the pain or birth itself but the aftermath.. So I have told myself to get booked in with the GP and hopefully they will be able to send me to somebody to talk through my anxieties with so I can get on top of it and go from there!

I went to the Portland in London from Armagh.

U will not get one easily - to be frank I was having one before I got pregnant. I tried but couldn’t be bothered engaging in the patronising lecture from the consultant. So just booked it private in London to avoid the “begging”.

C section recover was fine - I had glue and internal stitches. Left hospital and WENT HOME (11 hour trip) 3 days later. It was not painful. You can also drive when you want.

It was worth the money and the consultant in London even told me there was NO WAY i was getting my 10lb baby out.

I know people in a far worse state from episiotomies or symphysitomies which are still done in Belfast!

This is exactly how I felt so I had sections for both my two. Best decision I've ever made! It took all the worry out of my pregnancy knowing that I didn't have to give birth. I recovered well and still feel happy that I didn't have to go through that trauma.

Forgot to add.. a section has its own trauma (The pain, I had a wound drain etc) but I could mentally deal with it.

Well done @Bearbunch, that’s a good decision to speak to your GP about it, I hope they are helpful.

Hi @Bearbunch was thinking of you and wondering how you're getting on, hope the GP was helpful to you x

@PassTheAfterEights

I got locked out of my other account so I am Bearbunch under a different name! 😂 I am really touched that you thought of me.

Something inside me changed and I don't feel the same fear anymore, it's honestly bizzare.. I went from being absolutely terrified to welling up and feeling so emotional (in a happy way) about giving birth! I suppose alot can change in a few months and I've been listening to my positive birth podcasts and trying to retrain my focus and get rid of those negative feelings.

I learned that my placenta is low at my 20 week scan so I might end up with a section if it doesn't move! I always laugh at this as it would be sods law if it doesn't move and I have myself prepped for vaginal birth.

@Sunsage this is fantastic to read - that you're feeling so positive about it at all is WONDERFUL, you've done so well, and I think you'll have an amazing beautiful experience whatever the outcome now that you've embraced both possibilities and banished the fear. Have a brilliant rest of your pregnancy - the best is yet to come!!!! Even when they are partying 1am through 4am every single night, at 15 months, not 15 years..... 🤗 xx

I was terrified too OP. I had proper nightmares and panic attacks for my entire pregnancy and had to go and see the special pregnant lady shrink because I was in such a state.

The day I found out my baby was breech and I could have a section was one of the best days of my life. Had an ELCS and it was AMAZING. Honestly, the recovery was piss easy - I was up and about within 12 hours, and happily walking, climbing stairs etc. The nurses gave me blood thinner injections in hospital, but I didn't have to do my own. No issues with breastfeeding on my end - my baby had a tongue tie, but that's not c section related.

I was 100% healed in about 10 days, you can barely see the scar and was back to my normal stomach with no overhang. 10/10 would c-section again. I suggest you really push for one. Don't play down how terrified you are and how this is destroying your mental health.

I just saw your update - that's amazing. Good luck!!

@PassTheAfterEights thank you so much you are so so kind!!! ♥️

@allfurcoarnoknickers thank you for sharing your experience too!!! I was gearing myself up for a fight for an elcs but I guess during lockdown I did a lot of soul searching lol

Would antenatal classes help ? Things like prolapse and incontinence is very rare.
I tore, didnt feel it, stitches were a little uncomfortable, healed fine. Everything still works as it should. Speak with your midwife about your fears.

I was 100% healed in about 10 days, you can barely see the scar and was back to my normal stomach with no overhang. 10/10 would c-section again.

Same! I had mine in the Ulster after a failed induction (well my waters went at home and I was contracting, but because there was meconium in there they put me on the drip). It was so much more straightforward than I thought it would be, I'm actually wondering if I can get the same obstetrician to sort me out next time

I had a birth debrief and explained my wish for another section eventually for no. 2 and the midwife sucked her teeth and said, "you'll have a fight on your hands if there's no medical reason". I knew from being on here that I'm entitled to one, so to hear an HCP giving me that line and try to fob me off before I'm even pregnant really fucked be off.

Glad you're feeling less anxious OP- being in a more relaxed and positive mindset will stand you in good stead however baby makes an appearance.