Terrified and would like a c section

[Bearbunch]

Hi all just looking for some advice. I live in NI for a start. I am so so absolutely terrified of giving birth, this is my first so I've never experienced it.. It seems to be this deep rooted fear that has sprung itself on me. I'm only 14 weeks and not due to see my mid wife for another 3 weeks. I was wondering if I can just request a section or would I have to go private? I never thought I would have this feeling before getting pregnant but here I am 🙈

Please spare me stories of why I shouldn't get a c section I have spoken to everybody I know who has given birth they all had really positive stories, tried hypnobirthing and read through the positive birth book. None of which have helped!! Tia x

PS - there were moments under pressure where even my repeat assertions that I was making an informed decision (this is a key phrase!!) started to shake and my husband, traditionally the less forceful of the two of us by some margin, was absolutely brilliant in restating my position. Don't hesitate if you need the support of another voice to use your partner.

I had an emergency c section. I was not allowed to drive for 6 weeks afterwards unless I rang my insurers before and got permission to drive. I drive a tank of a car and tbh it was only after 5 weeks I could have had the strength to drive it. So I waited the 6 weeks

If I have another yes I will opt for a c section as it will be the most sensible thing after my previous birth.

It's not the easy option. I have a high pain threshold but really struggled to move at all for a good week. I'm a v active person and the amount of time it took to recover frustrated me.

I felt the same as you so I went private and had an ELCS. It was a lovely calm experience, all my pregnancy appointments were with my consultant who did the section on the day which completely put me at ease and the post natal care was great with a private en suite room and 1:1 midwife care. The recovery went really well, it was certainly sore but at no point did I ever feel in pain and within 4 weeks I was fully back to normal. It was very expensive but I have no regrets and will absolutely be doing the same again with any future pregnancies.

My advice is to do as much research as possible, talk to your midwife and make sure whatever decision you make is as informed as possible. Good luck.

OP I didn't want to deliver vaginally, I told my midwife who said I'd need to see a consultant and I pushed until that happened. Wasn't till 20+ weeks can't remember exactly when, they outlined the risks but were quite happy to sign the consent form when I seemed convinced. I had a good experience with my elective c section.
When I had a second child they gave me the choice but seemed perfectly happy when I did not want a trial of labour.
I did wait till 6 weeks to drive. I didn't have any injections in my belly? I breastfed and bonded well with both children.
OP only you know if you really want support to change your mind or support to access a c section. Check out latest NICE guidelines

I have no pain threshold.. like i stub my toe and cry for hours. I was petrified of the pain. When labour started it was horrible, im not going to lie. But i ened up with gas and air followed by an epidural. Baby was born with forceps and i ended up with a 3rd degree tear, however I'm 11 days after birth and pain wise i dont have any. Im going to take some more time to heal with the stitches and learn to poo again.. BUT i honestly think its better than a C-section recovery. I can do everything i could before baby. If you are desperate for a c-cection definitely ask and request it, but i would do more research on recovery ect.

@Double3xposure literally everything you’ve said is bollocks

What was wrong with what doubleexposure said??
Why do so many female obstetricians opt for elcs if it is such a terrible idea?

The injections are to prevent clotting. Standard after lots of operations now.

Driving, most insurance says follow medical advice. Usually this is once you can confidently emergency stop then you can drive.

A good c section is fine. A bad one is horrific and can ruin your life. The same can be said about a vaginal birth.

Hi OP, cant advise on a c-section over vb as I have only had the latter.
Just wanted to say I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and you get the birth you want.

Regardless of your decision, I would suggest continuing with the hypnobirthing. Even a planned c section is likely to make you feel anxious and unnerved; a good hypnobirthing course should give you the tools to help calm yourself throughout.

@Minesabecks I had c section 8 months ago. I had to stay in hospital 3 days, was in pain for months after, wasn’t ready to drive until 8 weeks after and had to inject myself in the stomach every day for I think 8 days. Pretty much contradicts everything Double said. I assume this is what @Herpesfreesince03 is getting at.

Also the obs choosing c section over vaginal is simply it is more predictable and controlled than a vaginal birth.

I’ve had two vaginal deliveries, one c-section. I had an episiotomy with the first, not big, but to avoid bad tearing. Yes, it hurt but no lasting effects. I think tearing would have healed better.

The c-section was far worse recovery and pain wise (post birth) than the vaginal deliveries. No comparison. I’d always choose a vaginal birth. My youngest (c-section birth) is now 20, and there are still sexual positions that are uncomfortable because of the scarring (I assume).

It sounds like now that giving birth is a distinct possibility and not something theoretical, your worries are coming out.

It's ok to be scared of what might happen, it's ok to be informed of the worst case scenario but this needs to be balanced with the knowledge that not all these things are likely.

I would talk to your midwife about this. Talk to them about labour and giving birth and your options. They might be able to put your mind at rest or at least start talking about possible section.

You also can find an antenatal class - I found them useful to learn more about labour and what it meant and what could be expected. This means you have the opportunity to have conversations rather than a one sided worry in your own head.

I remember at different points of both my pregnancies having freak outs at different times over different things. It's a big thing being pregnant and giving birth. It's ok to be overwhelmed but try and see of you can talk to the midwife about your fears.

I must say I'm horrified the fact women in the UK are sent home after a night. Here in Ireland. Its 4 nights in the maternity hospital. We register the birth in there - literally wheel baby into the room. Physio lessons , meeting with lactation consultant , breastfeeding classes. I was on oxynorm pain relief for 4 days all 3 times after my sections . Topped up with difene and paracetamol at intervals. I had inohep injections before bed . And that's on the public system. Didnt pay for anything. Our health system gets knocked a lot but all 3 pregnancies I was really taken care of. I couldnt imagine going home one day post section

I’ve has both. I would choose a c-section over vaginal delivery. I knew the second time around that a c-section was what I wanted and a weight was lifted off my mind as soon as I’d decided what I wanted to do and put plans in place. My section was actually a wonderful experience and to be, felt much more like giving birth than my actual ‘giving birth’ (if you know what I mean). I was mentally more present and felt safe and in control and had a much less complicated recovery.
I hope that whatever you choose works out for you

I had three natural births followed by a c-section. I'd far rather go natural as the after effects of the c-section are really long lasting. I have no issues after my three natural births and was up and about in a day. The c-section took over 6 months to recover from. In terms of the natural births, the best was the first which was with an epidural. The second just had gas and air and was fine but the third was induced and horrible. If I ever had another (which I won't 🤣) I'd prefer natural but I'd insist on an epidural. I know it's scary, I remember being terrified with my first but it really isn't that bad, if it was we'd all be only children!

@Minesabecks the majority of doctors opt for vaginal birth. The rate of elective sections amongst doctors is around 30%.

I am a doctor and worked in obstetrics full time for three years. I opted for vaginal birth. Ended up with forceps delivery/3rd degree tear and episiotomy/post partum haemorrhage. All healed fine, no regrets.

Ask your hospital if they have a consultant midwife and ask to be referred to her.

@puds11 @Herpesfreesince03

The fact that your experience is totally different from mine ( and from the majority of women who have a CS) doesn’t make my experience or opinion “ bollocks “ or “ contradictory “.

Or vice versa.

You are very rude to dismiss another woman’s experience in that way. My child’s birth is just as valid as yours, as is my opinion.

@double3xposure what country are you in? The op is in the uk and some of your ‘opinions’ are literally illegal here. You cannot LEGALLY drive when you’ve had a c section, regardless if you ‘feel’ like it or not. And statistically every point of your post is wrong, regardless of your OPINIONS of them!

Some people seem confused about the phrase “ elective c section”. It means that the operation is PLANNED, not that the woman chooses to have one.

Lots of women have an elective sections because that’s the medical advice they are given , even though they don’t WANT one and wouldn’t chose it . Eg multiples, breech baby, serious medical condition in mother

@Herpesfreesince03

LOL at you suggesting my opinions are illegal!! Please call the police then.

Here’s advice from the NHS - are they illegal too?

But you may not be able to do some activities straight away, such as:

driving
exercising
carrying anything heavier than your baby
having sex
Only start to do these things again when you feel able to do so and do not find them uncomfortable. This may not be for 6 weeks or so

Every insurers has their own advice on this. They mostly say similar to the above,

But please do go ahead and link to the relevant criminal law that makes it not just illegal to drive but actually illegal to talk about it.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/caesarean-section/recovery/

@Double3xposure you wrote your first post saying ‘most women’ not that it was your personal experience. I wrote my experience which was contradictory to what you wrote in every way. I did not say yours wasn’t valid ffs just that it was different so do not accuse me of being rude for having a different opinion.

What hospital are you with op? If you consider going private I would recommend dr David Glenn if in the Belfast area. Will have to pay however Hugh level of care and takes into consideration what you want for your birth. Not impossible to request a section via hospital/ midwife but could be fobbed off until much later in pregnancy before a Decision is made .