I am just looking for some unbiased advice and opinions on what is the right thing to do...
I am 32, my bf is 26, we have been together for almost 3 years. I live in London and he lives in turkey, we see eachother every week since the start and I regularly spend long periods of time there, 2 to 3 weeks.
A while ago, I told him it was a priority for me to have kids soon. I told him I would get off the pill now and because of fertility issues (I have pcos and a heart shaped uterus) I would probably not get pregnant for a year and then look at fertility treatments etc. He agreed to this.
A couple of weeks ago I got really sick with a flu, he sent me about three different texts saying «maybe you are pregnant :-)», «I finally got you pregnant» etc. It turns out that as soon as i stopped the pill, i got pregnant and am now 8.5 weeks.
when i told him, i handed him the positive test and he looked so happy. we packed all my stuff in london and flew to turkey together.
i went to the doctors alone and had a scan and listened to the heartbeat. i feel it s a miracle i got pregnant. even the doctor was surprised.
i am happy but of course scared as i was not expecting this so soon and so easily.
my bf is from a very wealthy background but controlled by his family completely.
he now says he doesnt feel right to propose because people will say i trapped him, that it will look rushed. i told him for me to give birth in a muslim country out of wedlock is not an option and my rights will be very limited.
he says i should have an abortion. and that i should move to turkey, then in the future get engaged. i think it s BS.
i am devastated because i have always thought i was against abortions from an ethical standpoint, im also so grateful to have fallen pregnant with what seems to be a healthy baby. the thought of having the procedure terrorises me.
i feel tricked and betrayed... i feel like i would rather he died than the baby.
if i have this baby alone, i have very limited support from my family. my mum lives abroad and works and has her own life. i dont have any friends with babies or sibblings.
i would be entitled to nothing or very little financially from him as nothing is in his name, doesnt earn a salary like normal people and lives abroad.
i have some savings but would have to find a job (i stopped working full time as he was giving me a card to use as i pleased and i travelled to see him all the time, making it hard to have an office job). i know i can manage it but working full time as a single mom looks so hard.
seeing the way he is acting today, i realise he s not ready to be a good father. i could find myself in a very vulnerable situation. i dont know what to do...
He is thinking of telling his family. I’m sure they will say to abort, because he s too young. They may even think I’m not good enough...
My friends say he s either just freaking out or a horrible, immature and reckless person. My mum says if he s not 100 percent sure then I should have an abortion and that I cannot have a baby with a Turk out of wedlock.
What should I do? I am scared to go back to the UK pregnant because of corona, I was so sick a few weeks ago with a simple flu I didn’t think I would make it...