I’m completely new to this but so desperate for advice, so please be kind. Here’s my story..
There’s a large age gap in my relationship, I am late 20s and he is mid 40s. He has been married before and has two children (19 and 10). We have been together for just under two years and have had a very happy, strong relationship. I do not see his 19 year old son very often but have had a very good relationship with his daughter, who I treat as my own and have always put 110% effort in with. Unfortunately, my partner’s ex wife is hell bent on trying to make life as hard as possible. He is a fantastic father and is in huge financial battles with his ex (he currently pays both her mortgage and CSA every month) There's A LOT she has done to mentally hurt him over the two years we have been together, and to some I may seem silly for staying involved, but I fell head over heels in love with him and have always, always supported him, no matter what his ex has thrown at us.
That aside, we decided in September that I would come off the pill and we would start planning for a baby. This was very much a joint decision and since meeting my partner he has told me that he wants a child with me.
I am now 17 weeks pregnant, and our relationship is going through absolute turmoil. His ex wife very cruelly told both of his children that I am pregnant in an insensitive way - she has also said she will stop at nothing to split us up. Since then, his daughter has refused to see me. She is still seeing her Dad (not as often as she should be) but is refusing to stay over or visit if I am there. The ex wife has now essentially told my partner that he has to choose between ‘his family or his new girlfriend’, and is really trying to get in his head saying that their daughter's hopes of them getting back together have been shattered. They have been split up for 3 years and are divorced, may I add. My partner is head over heels for his daughter and has been distraught since this has happened, albeit isn't really doing much to resolve the situation, more just going with it.
At the moment, we live together in a rented house, but are due to be moving to a purchased house together THIS WEEK!! There’s a lot going on at once, but throughout this whole process my partner has naturally been very distant, said some very hurtful things (his freedom is being taken away now we are pregnant, he's having to start again) and has made the whole experience of buying a house and being pregnant a totally negative one.
There is only so much I can take. He has reassured me that it is me he wants to be with, but that he can’t live without his daughter. The whole situation has caused many, many tears and arguments and this morning before he left for work he told me that he wished we never tried to get pregnant and that he is not happy, and to me this explains why he hasn’t been supportive so far.. he simply doesn’t want the baby. I am so heartbroken and desperate for advice.
Do I wait and hope that he will change his mind and hope that things blow over with his daughter?