The little embie that could - IVF pregnancy support

[Hopingforbabyd]

Hi ladies 😊
Thought I'd make us a grad forum to carry on the support we all gave each other on the TMI board. How are you all doing?

Little bit from me -

Currently 33+5 with a little baby boy due 22nd April. I started up annual leave as of today and officially start mat leave on 25th March. I've found this pregnancy lovely but have felt in a very surreal bubble/mindset for the most part and I'm hoping that will lift soon and that I'll feel a bit more grounded. The past 8 months have flown by. A couple of trips to the midwife from first time uncertainty but so far so good, no complications. I have my birthing plan booked in with my consultant on 25th March 36 weeks - I do feel like baby is dropping/dropped as lots of pressure and pains down below.

That's it from me, I'd love to hear from you & carry the support on 😘💛

@Hopingforbabyd I'm chuffed to ribbons for you and can't wait to hear about his safe arrival and name. I promise you it will all go fine, and although your Mr can't stay for long, the midwives and assistants will do their best to help you. Elective sections are a really positive experience I find - and a good opportunity for the anaesthetists to show off their taste in music

Happy Birthday @Hopingforbabyd

Hope you have a really lovely day and you’re nice and relaxed before tomorrow. Despite the current situation I’m sure it’ll still be the most amazing day. Let us know your news once you’ve had a chance to recover.

Hey @Hopingforbabyd how are you getting on?

I am lying awake with heartburn! I've made it to 23 weeks, time seems to be going a Bit faster now.

I hope everything is going well for you.

@Betsyboo87 how are you getting on? Not long to go now!

@WorriedButterfly I think I was probably lying awake at the same time as you! 31 weeks and starting to find sleep a bit harder now. I don’t think it helps being at home so much as I’m not using as much energy. That’s great time is going a bit faster for you. Heartburn is horrible though. Pregnancy is much less glamorous than I thought it would be! Are you feeling the baby move much now?

@WorriedButterfly hey!! I'm getting on okay, I didn't even update in here but my little boy was born on 15th April (my birthday!) and he's just the best! He's having a few tummy troubles so it is very exhausting but....we got this! I'm one tired momma! Hope your heartburn settles. I got really bad with it and my dr prescribed me omeprozol which was amazing! How are you despite the heartburn? X

I'm so pleased I've found this post and I hope people don't mind me gatecrashing !

Currently 27+1 with our much longed-for little boy (due late July) after 2 cycles of IVF. Together for 12 years and 3 years ttc so been a long road getting here!

The main thing I'm struggling with right now is the constant (and I mean constant!) anxiety.. I have always struggled to feel baby move, I never feel him when standing up, only when lying or sitting. All the books say he should be in a pattern by now but he has no pattern whatsoever! And the fact that I struggle to feel him anyway just makes things worse... I'm being seen by the midwife every week now as my anxiety hit a peak about 5 weeks ago and I kept going to the birth centre to be checked as I wasn't feeling him. Every time his heartbeat's been strong and I feel like I've wasted people's time and I'm being made to feel like a neurotic mess by people around me.... Certain family members keep telling me I'm "safe" now which really irritates me...

I'm hoping the heightened anxiety is just due to the situation with the IVF and nothing else... Did any of you other ladies have anxiety like this or am I just a basket case?!

@Hopingforbabyd huge congratulations! Enjoy every second. You sound so happy!

@Clizzie84 you’re not alone with the anxiety. I can’t shake it either and I think it is more common in ivf pregnancies. The only person who knows about our treatment is my Mum. She is usually a really sensitive person but she just can’t understand why I’m not enjoying pregnancy. She also thinks we’re “safe” now. I know statistically the odds are now hugely on our side but I guess I’m too used to being part of that statistic. With movement, I don’t feel much when I’m moving around. It’s only really when I’m sitting or lying down. But if you are worried then don’t hesitate or feel bad getting checked out.

@Betsyboo87 That's completely it! I am being made to feel like I'm somehow lacking for not enjoying this pregnancy! I know I'll miss it once he arrives but right now I just want him here and safe and healthy!

The "safe" thing infuriates me - I know ladies that have suffered losses at 31, 38 and 41 weeks so in my eyes there is no "safe". I think the real issue is I can't believe just how lucky we've been to get here!

@Clizzie84 bless you sweetie I know this exact feeling. I was thrilled to be pregnant however I too felt like I didn't feel baby sometimes. I'd often feel him more at night and I would never feel kicks up high. I always felt rolls and swirls but as my pregnancy got further along all I can describe is feelings of kicks lower down and I was always convinced he was breech. The midwife always dismissed me however low and behold he was in fact breech! That's why I didn't feel him as much. I went to the hospital a fair few times and also felt I was wasting their time but they always said any changes to movement or if you're concerned it's never a wasted journey. Have they told you where your placenta is? Also, my baby never had a pattern as such, I'm sure you've heard about ways to help them move such as cold water, sugary fizzy drink, sweets etc? I hope that helps, I know it's so worrying especially with Covid-19 but just follow your instincts, you know your body and your baby best and no one can tell you otherwise xx

@Hopingforbabyd I get the kicks (when I feel them!) lower down mainly too. Had a few flutters up by my ribcage just recently though so I'm hoping he's trying to turn!

He's very quiet today and I'm trying not to panic. Got my weekly midwife appointment tomorrow so hoping he'll perk up and I don't need to ring the hospital tonight OH wants me nowhere near the hospital right now cos of Covid-19 - he's so worried that LO and I will be exposed to it and he's even been told by certain people not to "let" me go to the hospital (like I'd let that stop me if I needed to go anyway!), so I've found that I don't even bother saying if I'm worried or not now!!

Hey @Clizzie84 welcome!

I can really sympathise with you, my mum keeps telling me IVF is behind me now, I can forget about it and enjoy the pregnancy. In the same breath she fuels a lot of my anxiety! At 20 weeks she told me I was safe and must start to enjoy everything no more anxiety please! For me IVF will always be a part of me, I feel so incredibly lucky to have got this far but I can't just forget it. I am only 23 weeks and don't feel much movement, what I do feel isn't particularly conclusive either, I had scans pretty much every two weeks and with lock down that came to an abrupt end. Last night I lay there thinking I don't even know whether I am still pregnant. I am usually laid back and happy go lucky and think my DH and mum find that hard to understand.

Regards to the hospital- having been for my 20 week scan, I would say they are pretty well organised and I really wouldn't not go because of Covid if you feel you want to. I think
We have to find our inner confidence and do exactly what we feel is right south all of this. x

Glad to hear you're doing well @Hopingforbabyd! Hope the tummy troubles clear up soon, I try to imaging the exhaustion and then start to worry myself! Thanks for the HB recommendation. x

@WorriedButterfly Bless you, 22/23 weeks was when my anxiety really took off in a bad way and I'd lie awake most of the night just desperately trying to feel anything for some reassurance that LO was OK. I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night in 5 weeks! 😢 (Trying to train myself to side-sleep isn't helping with that either though!!)

There's no doubt the Covid situation is making everything worse but if I need to go to hospital I'll be going no matter what! I'm just glad we got our 12 and 20 week scans done while partners were still allowed in!

The weekly midwife appointments should be reassuring me but they're not - I find as soon as I leave one I'm counting down to the next one! I don't want to spend the next few weeks on countdown as this is the only time I'll be pregnant - we couldn't afford another cycle of IVF anyway and with my age (36 this year) I don't think there's a point. I want to enjoy it but part of me thinks I won't truly relax until I actually have him in my arms!

I don’t think lockdown is helping the situation for me either. Far too much thinking time. I find splitting it down into smaller, more manageable parts helps me. I have 2 weeks left on lockdown, then I have 3 weeks in the office and then it’s mat leave.

I know it’s not for everyone but I do find a meditation app helps. I didn’t think it would be for me but it surprised me how much it helps me relax and it’s good before bed. I use headspace. I’m also obsessed with reading, at least 2 books a week. I can really lose myself in a good book.

Oh and with family we currently have a battle over why we haven’t bought much yet. To me it still feels too soon but they can’t understand why we’re not excited to get things.

@worriedbutterfly the exhaustion is something I never imagined, kinda like a massive stint of jet lag. One thing I would really encourage all women is to talk, especially in the first couple of weeks. I have cried so many tears for so many emotions. Sometimes I've cried and not known why. It's very hard as some women I see seem like they're sailing through the early stages but when I've spoken to couples around the same stage as me I have found they too are adapting and taking in all these emotions too. It's so good to talk and it's also so nice to know you're not going insane, it's okay to feel like shite and try to take it all on yourself. But whatever the situation when baba arrives (hopefully no lockdown) take all the help that's offered, even if it's someone to take a dog for a walk or just to make you some tea. I was very uptight before baby arrived that I could do it all. But motherhood really is so challenging however so amazing at the same time. Today is the first day I have felt human and focused! X