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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How do you and your partner sort bills while on maternity?

55 replies

Kl129 · 28/02/2020 08:40

Hii I just wanted some insight really as I’m a bit worried about how skint we will be (probably unnecessarily!)

On maternity I will only be getting around £600 a month which is under half my normal pay.

My partner has a decent ish pay and wants to pay the all of the rent and house bills (we split this 60/40 at the moment as he earns more) plus my personal bills (my car etc, he doesn’t drive) so that I can live off my maternity. Him paying all the bills would probably leave him around £600-800 a month as his pay fluctuates as he is self employed.

I just feel bad about him paying literally everything!

What did everyone else do? We don’t know anyone else with a baby so this is all very unknown territory for us!

Any help on saving money in the time being would also be great!

OP posts:

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mrssunshinexxx · 28/02/2020 08:42

I think your partner sounds great and has the right attitude. He doesn't want you to feel skint which a lot of men on here seem to do so it sounds a good plan x

Weenurse · 28/02/2020 08:44

Everything into one pot, 60% for bills, rent etc,
20% to splurge, haircuts, takeaway etc,
20% savings for holidays etc.
Good luck

ElderAve · 28/02/2020 08:45

Personally, I think the only way to arrange money once you have DC is for it all to go into one pot. From that pot, you can allocate a "share" each for spending once bills are paid if that works for you but everything has to be equal. Especially if more of the parenting responsibilities are falling to one person (which will almost always be the case, but especially so while you're on ML)

CherryPavlova · 28/02/2020 08:45

Of course he takes on greater financial responsibility. Your earnings have reduced because you have both chosen to have a child. You both have to pay towards that choice.
We’ve always shared finances completely since we married none of his/her monies just our money.

Beau2020 · 28/02/2020 08:46

OP this sounds perfectly reasonable and exactly what my OH is doing too.

If he's left with around £600 and that's what you'll be getting too, surely that's more than fair? It's team work at the end of the day, I wouldn't look at it like he's paying more than you because you physically can't whilst on maternity and that's a choice you both made xx

zaffa · 28/02/2020 08:46

We just pooled all income and spent accordingly. If either of us wants a bigger purchase (over £50 while on mat leave) then we discuss it to make sure the funds are available. A joint acc is easiest - and it'll be good to set up how it will be once you go back to work too. We don't think of it as his or my money, just the available family money

Ughmaybenot · 28/02/2020 08:47

We are currently 50/50 as we have essentially very similar incomes. When I go on maternity, DH is going to pay all the joint bills as well as his own expenses, and I will cover my personal bills (car insurance, phone etc) as that doesn’t amount to a lot to be honest and the rest will be used to do stuff, get out of the house etc. So similar to what your DH proposes, ish.
You shouldn’t feel bad, he can continue to work because you’ve taken the time off to be with baby, after all, it is his baby too!

Parker231 · 28/02/2020 08:48

All money is joint family. Pay the bills and have equal personal money.

shutupsteph · 28/02/2020 08:49

Before I went on maternity I plowed every penny into savings, which we used to pay off both mine and DP finance agreements/credit cards and used it for paying for baby things.

Now I'm on maternity pay we basically lump everything together, send bills/mortgage to our bills account, money for food to our joint account, whatever we need for phone bills etc to our accounts and then equally split the remaining money so we both have some spending money throughout the month. DP will work out to be paying the majority but as I'd used my savings for both of us before starting mat leave and because mat pay isn't enough to fairly pay 50% he doesn't mind. We both end up with spending money, the mortgage gets paid and there's food in the fridge!

Annafs · 28/02/2020 08:56

Your partner has the right attitude, that’s exactly what should be happening. I don’t qualify for maternity pay as I was on a contract that’s due to end a few months before my due date which is very annoying. Like you, we have always done 60/40 as DH earns a bit more than me. But whilst on maternity our plan is for DH’s salary to cover rent, bills, food shop, petrol for both of us etc. My maternity allowance and some savings I’ve scraped by will cover baby stuff and any extra unnecessary items. It will be tight but we’ve drawn up a budget and it is doable.

ivfbabymomma1 · 28/02/2020 08:57

We put both wages into one account anyway, so it was no different when I was on maternity. And whatever was left went into a joint spending and joint savings account

fibeee · 28/02/2020 09:00

Pre-maternity my DH and I have been putting 40% of our salaries into a joint account. Mortgage and all of our bills come out of there. We have a car each and take care of our own personal payments plus any other personal debts. Mat leave is new territory for us too but this is what we’re going to do.

On mat leave my contributions have reduced as I just can’t afford the 40%. I have totalled all the money I am receiving for mat leave (employers policy and MA allowance) and given myself a fixed weekly budget. Around a third of that is going towards bills and my DH (also the bigger earner) is making up the shortfall if needed.

Am I happy about the extra financial burden on him? Not really. But at the same time I’ll be a full-time mother to our baby which doesn’t exactly come with a salary! So unfortunately this is just the way it needs to be for awhile.

LH1987 · 28/02/2020 09:00

We have completely separate finances, and will continue to do so. He earns more than I do so pays more bills etc. While on mat leave he is covering all bills and mortgage and I am buying food. Though I know he will chip in for this a bit aswell. I can empathise about feeling guilty, but it is only for a short while and then I will be back at work.

mrsc1987 · 28/02/2020 09:07

We've always since the day we lived together put all money in to one pot, i earn a minuscule amount compared to him and he never holds it against me, bills first, then debts then everything else in our house

wafflyversatile · 28/02/2020 09:08

It's his baby too. You are a family and the cost of having a baby, of being a family, should be borne by both parents, not just the mum. If it was him taking the time off you wouldnt make him bear the financial brunt, would you?

ElderAve · 28/02/2020 09:10

@LH1987 that all sounds lovely but (at least) one of your careers will be affected by becoming parents.

RhymingRabbit3 · 28/02/2020 09:10

I think it sounds like a great plan. You will both be left with about the same amount of money "spare" at the end of the month which is much fairer than you having nothing and him having £1200 a month left over. Your DH is one of the good ones - recognising that you have taken a significant cut in earnings in order to care for his child - and treating you fairly because of it. Many many husbands on MN seem to be oblivious of this and assume that all the child costs are the mums responsibility.

Beau2020 · 28/02/2020 09:24

@elderave just out of interest how will @lh1987 career be affected because she has separate finances?

I also have separate finances but it works I don't know how it affects careers? We've paid our rent up front so I don't have rent to worry about just bills and food really and my OH will pay that.

fedup21 · 28/02/2020 09:28

We have a joint account and bills come about of it. No percentages or his/hers. Just ours, no matter who has earnt what over the years.

userabcname · 28/02/2020 09:33

Why do you feel guilty? Sounds perfectly fair. You're not having a jolly - you're looking after your child, which, quite frankly, can be a lot harder than going to work.

Stringervest · 28/02/2020 09:34

Everything into one pot for bills, savings and expenses. All fun money split equally. Financial decisions made jointly. It's been that way since we had our first child.

When working I get paid more than him but we both work equally hard. To me, once we were a family, the only fair way to manage our finances was to share them completely. He might benefit from my higher salary now but I'll reap the rewards of his public sector pension in due course

Brown76 · 28/02/2020 10:04

You're doing his share of the daytime childcare, he's paying your share of the bills. You're both left around £600 which is good. You split the out of daytime childcare equally and split bills differently when you're back at work.

ElderAve · 28/02/2020 10:08

Beau, I'm simply saying that the earnings of most parents/mothers will be affected by parenthood, so separate finances isn't the same as fair. One of you wont be able to take the promotion that means being away from home a lot, for example

Amys136 · 28/02/2020 10:10

I paid my share of the bills from my savings (that I started putting away once I knew I was pregnant) my husband pays 60% of our household bills and pays for all our weekend and fun activities

SapphosRock · 28/02/2020 10:14

Your partner's suggestion is perfect. We are planning on doing the same when I am on maternity, DP will take responsibility for all the bills so I have the SMP as my own money.

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