How do you and your partner sort bills while on maternity?

[Kl129]

Hii I just wanted some insight really as I’m a bit worried about how skint we will be (probably unnecessarily!)

On maternity I will only be getting around £600 a month which is under half my normal pay.

My partner has a decent ish pay and wants to pay the all of the rent and house bills (we split this 60/40 at the moment as he earns more) plus my personal bills (my car etc, he doesn’t drive) so that I can live off my maternity. Him paying all the bills would probably leave him around £600-800 a month as his pay fluctuates as he is self employed.

I just feel bad about him paying literally everything!

What did everyone else do? We don’t know anyone else with a baby so this is all very unknown territory for us!

Any help on saving money in the time being would also be great!

Well I got made redundant at 6 months pregnant so DP pretty much paid everything.

He got his wages put into the joint account, we got child benefit / universal credit put in here too along with my redundancy pay etc so it all became just one big pot.

2 years later we still do it this way. It works for us, and seems less stressful.

I don’t really understand this concept of guilt around shared finances after children. You can’t work whilst recovering from childbirth caring for your infant.

Should he feel guilty he can’t do 50% of childcare? 50% of pregnancy? 50% of labour? You’re a team so you each put in what you can and take what you need. Nobody takes the piss and everyone tries to express appreciation of the other’s contributions. That’s how teams work. Sounds like your dp understands this.

Married and joint account for everything.

I too occasionally feel guilty spending money until DH reminds me I've earned it with 2x pregnancy/breastfeeding/sleepless nights childcare Mon-Fri. It's your money too, don't feel bad.

We've found that the not spending odd pound here/there really adds up.

DP earns a lot more than me. All our money goes into a shared pot. This will continue when I’m on maternity.

When you become a family it's a good idea to merge finances in this way so that it's not "your money" vs "his money" and "my expenses" vs "his expenses". The money that comes into the household is simply family money and you decide together what to spend it on.

Over time you'll have periods like this where one of you is earning less, and over the long (long long) term it will even out. Maybe your husband in the future will suffer a long term health issue which makes him less able to work, or will decide to pursue a new qualification, or set up a business. Those may be times that you earn more and carry him. If you're a partnership and a family then it doesn't matter that one person "is paying everything", it's just joint money paying for things.

@ElderAve, it works for us and we are happy with the decision to split finances. I suppose everyones relationship is different and works differently. I was just trying to answer the OPs question about how other people are managing splitting finances during maternity leave.

It's like in a company - the sales department is probably the one actually bringing in the money, but that doesn't mean it's their money. It's profit for the company as a whole and is shared between all the employees, customer service, HR, designers, directors etc. See the family as a unit in the same way.

Also don't get into the trap of baby's expenses always coming out of your money.

I like @Bertiebotts analogy. We have one pot since having children, you haven't just randomly decided to reduce your income, you are looking after a baby. At the start I did feel guilty about not financially contributing but I'm contributing to the family in many other ways.

I think your partners got a great idea. He really wants to support you.

I was in the same situation as you, bringing home about £600 which is over half my wage lost due to smp.

We worked out that dhs wage pretty much covered our average monthly outgoings including food shop and fuel, so the plan was his wage would do that.

All wages since I went on maternity leave go into the joint account, all bills inc fuel and food shop come from there. We then have a DD each DH has £100 of the mat pay and I have £200 of the mat pay to use on other expenses, coffee at work for him, days out with ds for me etc, the rest went into savings, to use for gift buying for birthdays, decorating the house etc but has since been eaten up with an emergency vet trip we had just before Christmas.

I go back to work next week and we've decided that this seems to be the best method for us, whereas before we just put the same amount into the joint account.

We had planned to save before ds arrived, but we got a new car instead.

@elderave Ahh I see what you're saying now! Yes that's true, luckily me and my OH both have flexible jobs we both work from home (well he's self employed and I'm remote) but yeah if my job told me I had to be office based I would have to resign

DH covers mortgage, bills, etc (pays sum into our joint account). I pay for my own expenses e.g. coffees, clothes, car insurance, phone bill etc.
Before mat leave he put in a little bit more to joint account as he earns more, after mat leave I’m not sure how it’ll work as I’m going back part time and will be on half my previous salary, plus will have childcare costs. I imagine we will pool money so we have spending money for each of us, but all important costs are covered?
My husband is good in that he does see my mat leave as working, he knows I’m not pissing around all day and that most of the time it’s full on. Though obviously there are some lovely days too!

He has the right idea.

Whether finances are shared or separate normally, it's morally right for the person on maternity to pay less towards household costs given they're earning less and off with the baby both people wanted.

We always used to pay a set amount into the joint account for bill (60/40- he earns more), after DS was born DH pays for all household bills and essentials. this only leaves him with about £150-£200 a month. My mat pay went towards treats and topping up the savings where we could. We plan to carry this on so we know bills are always covered from DH wages and anything I earn (I am going back flexi part time so wages will be different every month) is for days out, holidays, savings ect.

I’m the higher earner.

I simply got dh an additional card on my credit account. We left everything the same(we don’t have any joint accounts) but he uses my credit card to top up if necessary or for any big or household related stuff.

Your partner has got your back, I think his plan sounds right. You will both have almost equal disposable income.

DP and I did something similar, I was only getting SMP too, but I also had some savings to fall back on. He paid all the rent, I paid for all the bills. Food and stuff for DS was split between us. We didnt have joint finances and still don't! It works best for us not to.

Funnily enough my mat pay will average out to be the same as what my partner gets paid, as I am the higher earner. When I am on leave, we will simply split the payments 50:50.

When I go back to work our expenses will drastically increase because of childcare, so at that point we will pool all our money and keep back the same amount for our own personal fun money.

I'm currently planning the same, we are both saving at the moment, he is saving towards things like prams etc and I am saving towards bills, my plan is to over pay on the bills each month a little so that for those three months of mat pay (I get 6 months full pay first) I will be able to hopefully halve the outgoing direct debits. I will also have more time to shop during the days etc so will be able to buy reduced foods etc! Good luck and I'll keep watching for any tips! X

We've always put the same amount into a joint account and then spent whatever's left on what we like.

We're going to change this now. We have a shared savings goal while I'm pregnant and on EMP, and then when I drop to SMP we're going to pool our money and each have a small allocation for fun money. Plan is for me to go back full time at 7 months and DP to drop to part time when I do, so we'll keep with fully combined finances for at least the first 3 years and then review.

Good post op I think a lot of us are feeling the same

I am worried due to not receiving anything post partum due to new job, we both have houses although dp has a good enough income to cover both (just!) But he doesn't like the idea of a joint account. Sadly I dont think he'll have a choice!

His percentage went up, mine went down. We both had the same amount of 'fun money' each month.

Just the same as now I'm back at work - he earns more than me, so he pays more towards joint bills than I do and we both have the same amount of money left over.

In depends on your personality and dynamics tbh.
I would melt at the sheer sight of my dp bank statements and what he's spent his money on and likewise, I wouldn't want someone viewing my day to day spending either.
In addition to this, I have had generations of female relatives warn me against being financially dependent on anyone as an adult and given some very scary personal stories of why they feel so strongly against this way of budgeting.
Our way, whilst on mat stat pay is for DP to not only pay utility and rent but also be responsible for any amendments such as having the money set aside for if the boiler breaking down or making decisions on changing the energy provider etc.
And I pay for my phone bill, my fuel costs and any socialising I do out of the mat stat pay. I'm also saving for all the baby things and get over all decisions on the cost of these items which helps with planning for baby groups, health appointments, family get togethers/meet the baby etc.
But it's personal choice and we're always there to financially catch the other if needs be.

From the month before we got married we moved to one bank account and became a family and had family money.

At the time my DH earned more than me, not too much more but more. Then his career took off and we had children which meant my career stalled and I went part time so for about 8 years he earned nearly double what I did. Nothing needed to change except we had less money and more expenses with DCs to pay for. We both cut our cloth based on what we had as a family.

As it happens I now earn more than him but it makes no difference. Whenever either of our pays change we discuss the family impact not the individual impact.

Sounds perfectly fair to me.

@Amys136 your arrangement doesn’t sound fair though. Why should you have to spend your savings? You both chose to have your baby didn’t you? And presumably you will have far less capacity to replenish your savings in the near future due to having a career break while your husband’s ability to earn and save is unaffected?

We did the same during maternity leave as we did before and after. All money is family money and just goes in one pot. Pretty much everyone I know does the same.

@ user1480880826 it was money I started specifically saving once I found out I was pregnant for that purpose. At the same point husband started paying for our fun things and more into the pot.

I don’t think my future earning capacity will be affected too much just because I’ve had a year off