Told my partner I'm pregnant and he lost it..

[jschx]

Been with my partner for two and half years, we've bought a house, car and dog and now I've fallen pregnant.
He has a 5 year old from a past relationship and we have her quite a lot.
I had my implant removed back in September and told him yet he refused to wear a condom. I've always wanted a kid and he only told me when we'd moved in together that he didn't want another.
I found out last week that I'm pregnant and I'm so happy, it's all I've ever wanted. However, I told him and he flipped. He has been incredibly nasty and I've had to move in with my dad to get away from him.
I don't know how to feel and don't know what to do next.. anyone else experienced this?

Wow, just wow! In a world where you can be anything be kind?! Certainly not on mumsnet! I can’t believe the the self righteousness of most of these comments. What lovely judgemental “perfect” people you all are.

OP - your hormones will be all over the place. Take time out for you and think very carefully about your next step. I hope you have lots of support from your family/friends. I wish you well and just remember many women can and do this without the support of the father. Good luck xx

@jschx I second what PP @MATTSMAMMA has said above. Sending you nothing but strength and love x

Right, so let's get this straight, you had your implant removed, what was the reason for that, without being stupid, or was that before you moved in together, as you say it was only once you moved in together that he told you he didn't want more kids. So had you had it removed thinking that in time if you both decided it was time to try for a baby, you were implant free?
Also as you mention he was fully aware, but refused to wear a condom, then what did he think was going to eventually most likely happen 🤔🤦‍♀️ Oh my god some men are a complete joke! He knew you had the implant out, and therefore if he did not want a baby, he should have insisted he wore one! I think you were good giving him the choice, as although you obviously wanted a baby, you was still open to both sides, he to me has just done the often typical bloke thing and thought of pleasure before anything else!
Does not sound good that he has turned on you like he has, and I think it is a good idea that you got away.
Not sure how long it has been, but do you think there will be a chance for you to both be able to sit down and talk once things have calmed down?
I am leaning towards what I read at least one other poster say, are you prepared to go it alone if he doesn't want an input?

Can't believe the responses to this post ! You are not immature whatsoever and are really brave for reaching out and asking for advice, congratulations on your blessing I'm sure it's really hard for you at the moment (emotions all over and all that ) but just remember that everything happens for a reason and you were sent this blessing for a reason, if he can't see that then he's a fool and doesn't deserve to be a part of it all! You'll be an amazing mother and this is a very lucky baby

Slightly different to your situation but 3 years ago I fell pregnant I was on the pill but was using a diet tea which stops the pill (didn't know this at the time) anyway we had just bought our house oh has a daughter from a previous relationship and we had discussed children I made it very clear I wanted them and wouldn't settle for not having them just because he has 1 anyway fell pregnant told him he was horrid lots of nasty comments so I gave him the option then I either walked or he accepted it when we went for the first scan I found out I was actually 26 weeks pregnant which made the shock worse for him eventually he came round to the idea but it wasn't until he was born that he fully came round he now adores our son and wouldn't have it any other way we have also had another one since maybe give him time to get over the shock? Xx

You are both idiots. Now, your child comes first. Grow up and own the situation you are equally responsible for. He might or might not do likewise but you can only control you.

Can i just say no contraception is 100% effective unless u practice no sex at all! I cant believe the comments on here in response. OP is asking for advice... some ppl are so judgmental!

OP you have a very important decision to make. It is not going to be easy whatever you decide especially because you and the father are at odds. You need to make the right decision for you! I wish you all the best.

I'm looking at this from a slightly different angle, as a child of someone who was in a similar position.

Honestly, your first mistake was not breaking up with him and moving on with your life the moment he revealed he doesn't want any more children. If having children is so important to you, why on Earth would you waste your time on someone who doesn't share your core values and plans? This is the sort of thing you discuss way before moving in together. You were both irresponsible and utterly incapable of communication already before you lived together. Then you didn't communicate about unprotected sex and just continued with it like sex has no consequences. Major, major red lines everywhere.

Not suggesting anything and not saying this with any judgement - if you were my friend IRL, I would suggest you to consider termination and then spend some years alone, intensively working on yourself, self respect and the way you approach romantic relationships. Your issue here is not just unplanned pregnancy, you have tons of things you must work on to eventually live an emotionally healthy and stable life that you and a baby deserve.

Wishing you all the best.

You both had a responsibility to use protection- and you seem to assume he'll change his mind and embrace the pregnancy. You have both been equally irresponsible and you can only hope he will at least continue to support his child regardless

What exactly did he think was going to happen if he was having unprotected sex? It's very odd that he wouldn't understand the risks associated with this.

Can he explain what he thought was going to happen?

Hey, don't listen to anyone saying this is your 'fault'. Why should all the decisions and responsibility fall on the women. You have a right over your body and removing your contraception is absolutely ok. Do the men ever have to think about these things? Do they have to deal with side effects of contraception or the reality of being pregnant without any support?
Your partner should have supported you every step of the way, he is not a child and
knows what can happen after having sex with a woman (especially one who you are in a serious relationship with).
You told your partner you removed the implant (which again you have every right to do) and he also knows you weren't opposed to having children. If he refused to wear a condom then that is entirely his informed decision, suggesting he too wasnt opposed.
The fact he is now blaming you for being pregnant and treating you in this way is absolutely disgusting (and I think it's also disgusting that other people on this chat are behaving the same way).
I am sorry you are going through this. I am sorry you thought you were in a loving and supportive relationship where you were upfront and honest, are you are now facing this alone. I assure you though if you follow through with the pregnancy you will not be alone and you can definitely do this without the presence of a clearly useless man.
Xx