Grandparents at hospital after birth

[Mum2b2020]

I told my mum that my husband and I want to be alone at the hospital and that she and my dad and sister can come visit when we are back in our house. Now she is trying to guilt trip me into changing my mind and saying that most people allow grandparents to the hospital.

I've told her if all goes well I might only be there 6 hours or so before I go home and that I might feel differently if I had to stay in 5 days.

What's the consensus? Do 'most grandparents' visit their daughters /grandchildren in hospital after the birth?

Nope! I would have hated having anyone visit me in hospital. I was a sweaty mess and struggling to breast feed with constant rounds of antibiotics and iron tablets. If we had another baby I wouldn't have visitors at all for a week as I was just exhausted and not one visitor offered to put the kettle on themselves so my dh was constantly waiting on everyone. Our hospital labour ward also only allowed 2 visitors at a time and that included dh and I was not kicking him out so grand parents could come. The days in hospital I now look back on fondly as time with just us 3

I remember being so proud and happy I wanted the world and his wife to see my beautiful babies. My 3 are adults now. I'm still so proud and they are still beautiful.

I had a c section, as had everyone else on my ward, so I'm not sure what happens on the regular maternity wards, but 4 or 5 ladies came and went on ours and I didn't see a single grandparent.

I don't really see the need to be honest.

We rang both sets of parents as soon as DD1 was born and they all came to visit a few hours later at visiting time. It was the first GC for my parents and we'd been trying for a long time so I wasn't going to deny them the chance to meet their DGD when she was just hours old. They were all good and didn't outstay their welcome.

Dc1 both grandmothers stayed at the hospital whilst in labour! Then came straight in to delivery suite after birth.

Dc2 we didn't tell anyone till he was both then both sets grandparents came up and siblings to see us straight after, was still in delivery suite.

Was a bit crazy but lovely memories plus then we didn't see anyone at home for 48 hours as they'd all seen the babies.

Yes my mum, dad and MIL all visited me in hospital on the post natal ward. I was quite happy to have them there tbh but each to their own!

No we didn't want that. Go with what you want not what others did or wanted.

Given your mum is trying to convince you to change your mind by guilt tripping, rather then respecting your choice, I'd say an emphatic no to put boundaries in place now and shut down any further discussion by telling her that her behaviour is just cementing your decision as the right one in your mind.

Honestly, I think it's very unlikely you'll be home within 6 hours. For a second (or subsequent) birth, possibly, but even then it's not that common. The likelihood is you'll be in for 1-3 nights I expect, probably 1-2, so base your thinking on that, not the unlikely scenario.

In my NCT group, noone went home within a few hours. One stated 1 night, most of us 2 nights and a couple of people 3 nights. Sometimes because of mum, sometimes to do extra checks on baby.

Its not anything to worry about, but I get the feeling from your post you are assuming you'll be in and out, hence no reason for grandparents to visit.

Re visiting, totally upto you, but for both my births they visited within a few hours and honestly I'd have been bored at the hospital without visitors and wanted to show off baby. But that's me...

I had no intention of having any coming but I was seriously unwell after dc1 and required help to care for him so mum came to relive dh so he could go home and sleep/shower sometimes.

Dd I was in and out within hours so no visitors.