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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Another thread about alcohol

46 replies

isitreallyjustmyfriends · 07/02/2020 16:52

I'm confused. I know the NHS advises not to. I saw the articles the other day citing new research that it wasn't advisable. I have read Expecting Better, and the counter-research stating that the studies disussed in EB don't look at old enough children (as the effects of FAS are not seen until maybe 5 years old).

However, IRL, pretty much everyone I know drinks whilst pregnant. Not loads, usually just a glass. But I don't think they are limiting to 1-2 units a week, I think more like that is their limit per time they drink, which could depend on the week. Some people I see drinking really quite a bit, like 2 or maybe even 3 smallish glasses over the course of an evening.

I'm one of these drinkers, but I think I'm one of the much more careful ones.

I know MN is generally very anti this, and hence the majority of posters will comment that they wouldn't touch a drop etc. That's not really my point. I just wondered if anyone else has at least noticed this massive discrepancy as compared to their experiences in the real world? Is drinking in pregnancy a "middle class educated/professional/older mother London thing"? Words in " " because I know how they sound!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 07/02/2020 16:56

I didnt drink during my 2 pregnancies. I dont know anyone who did

Bookworm83 · 07/02/2020 16:57

I can't really relate (even before pregnancy I never used to drink much, maybe a couple of times a year, so I don't miss it at all), but from chatting to friends who have had babies in the last couple of years none of them had any alcohol when pregnant. One found a reportedly great alcohol-free wine that she enjoyed. Others weren't tempted at all.

sel2223 · 07/02/2020 17:01

Hi OP, No judgement here but I'm really surprised that it's so common where you are.
I'm 37, educated, professional....but not in London and I've only ever known 1 woman have an alcoholic drink when pregnant and that was a single glass of champagne to celebrate something big when she was in her 3rd trimester. Other than that, every woman I know gives it up completely.....including me.

Strangerthingshere · 07/02/2020 17:03

I didnt and I dont really know anyone who did either

user1493413286 · 07/02/2020 17:04

I’m surprised that you find that as I’d say the pregnant mums I know that drink are in the minority, more like 10-15% of the ones I know and have known during my pregnancies

jenniuol · 07/02/2020 17:05

I haven’t noticed this at all. I’m 32 and have known literally dozens of people have babies (colleagues/friends/family) over the past few years and beyond maybe a sip of champagne at a wedding toast I’ve never seen anyone pregnant drink anything alcoholic at all. I didn’t either in pregnancy and by Mumsnet standards I drink plenty Wink just not worth the risk.

Original poster
isitreallyjustmyfriends · 07/02/2020 17:07

Thanks @sel223 for the no judgement, much appreciated bc I really am just trying to get to the bottom of this.

I know the odd person who gives up completely, but it is massively the exception in my circle. Everyone takes the vitamins, does the pregnancy yoga, reads the books and generally does everything else 'right', but for some reason a little bit of drinking seems to be completely accepted.

OP posts:
MunchyMunchkin · 07/02/2020 17:09

I have had the odd unit at special occasions, weddings and Christmas. Can’t beat a glass of bubbles even if small! My friends (mostly medical professionals) all did the same. Some had a glass once a week. We read the evidence and made our own choice.

Wanderer1 · 07/02/2020 17:11

I will have a drink every now and again. Normally it's half a pint of bitter shandy but I have had a small glass of wine once. I'm not really a drinker when not pregnant but I'm happy that I understand the risks and evidence enough to have a small one if I fancy.

I think women that do occasionally have an alcoholic drink rarely discuss it outside the home for fear of judgement hence so many people swearing that no pregnant person they know has ever touched a drop. I'm on a FB group of people at the same gestation and around 50% (over 100 members) said they had a glass on Christmas Day.

ScarlettBlaize · 07/02/2020 17:12

When not pregnant (like now) I drink literally every day. Way over recommended NHS limits. I didn't touch a drop while pregnant and I don't know anyone else who did either.

Wanderer1 · 07/02/2020 17:12

OP I would be really interested in the counter evidence to the studies cited in EB. I'm a fan of her books. Do you have a link?

Original poster
isitreallyjustmyfriends · 07/02/2020 17:15

depts.washington.edu/fasdpn/pdfs/astley-oster2013.pdf

Is the one I read (found it linked on MN). It did really give me pause for thought and I have definitely cut way back/to practically nothing since reading this.

OP posts:
OlivejuiceU2 · 07/02/2020 17:16

I’ve not drank in pregnancy and have no intention to do so. I only know one person who had the odd glass here and there in their final trimester.

Originalusernameunavailable · 07/02/2020 17:17

I’ve never drank during any of my pregnancies and don’t know anyone who has either.
I’m a wine lover so it’s no easy task but you just don’t touch it while pregnant.

wonderstuff · 07/02/2020 17:24

I had the odd small glass of wine with dinner while pregnant, very infrequently. Actually with my first I didn't because it gave me awful indigestion, but I had maybe half a dozen glasses while pg with my second. I also ate runny eggs and blue cheese on occasion.

firstimemamma · 07/02/2020 17:25

I didn't drink while pregnant and don't know anyone else who did / would either.

NothingWrong · 07/02/2020 17:25

I seem to have a similar circle of friends to you OP. In fact one of my friends drank quite heavily (even by non pregnant standards) throughout her pregnancy and her child is a strapping 16 year old now with no FAS. But she was quite young while pregnant, so I wonder whether that buffered the effects of the alcohol. All my other friends would happily have a glass or two of wine a couple of times a week. One friend completely abstained, but she is the exception rather than the rule in my circle.

Waterandlemonjuice · 07/02/2020 17:26

It’s not just you. Many women I know had the odd glass of wine when pregnant, me included.

I read somewhere that the guidelines say “not at all” because people generally don’t moderate, they can’t be trusted to so it’s easier to tell people ‘don’t drink at all’. My parents generation, born in the 40s and 50s, drank and smoked in pregnancy. Not ideal, just how it was then.

CatteStreet · 07/02/2020 17:37

That link speaks about 'reported exposure'. Reported by whom? It may well be that these mothers were having more than the one drink a day that was 'reported'. That's rather by the by, though, because one drink a day isn't 'light' drinking in my book. There is a huge difference between one drink a day and nothing at all.

I didn't drink for the first halves of my pregnancies (exception was a small glass of wine on two nights on a birthday weekend away at 11 weeks with no. 3, and an abandoned attempt to have half a small glass of champagne at 12 weeks on my 30th birthday with no. 2 - I just couldn't face it) and after that had a small (which really meant small) glass maybe every two or three weeks. One a week would have felt like too much, never mind one a day. Drinking every day isn't recommended even when you're not pregnant.

I remain unconvinced that complete and utter abstinence is necessary (the tone of that link wasn't particularly factual or objective), but occasional should really mean occasional.

CatteStreet · 07/02/2020 17:39

wonderstuff, I don't mean any disrespect, but I wish people wouldn't throw eating runny eggs and (especially) blue cheese together with drinking - the nature and mechanisms of the potential risk are so very different. Alcohol is almost certainly a dose-response thing (it's just nobody knows the 'safe' dose), while if you get listeriosis you get it - eating one thing is enough - and the consequences can be devastating.

123456kent · 07/02/2020 17:39

It’s not just you. Most people I know (in 30s, London) have maybe a Small glass of wine every 1-2 weeks say throughout second and third trimester. They would all have a glass of bubbles at xmas/wedding or something. I only have one friend who abstained totally. I don’t think MN is an accurate cross section of society in general.

CatteStreet · 07/02/2020 17:40

*should add that the risk of listeriosis is very low overall and the guidelines in that case are really about the potential severity of the consequences.

CupCupGoose · 07/02/2020 17:43

I had a tiny gin and tonic on new years eve and another one at my baby shower. I won't be having any other alcohol until after this baby is born. Everyone I knew either didn't drink at all or just had the odd drink when pregnant but I don't know anyone who drank weekly/regularly.

Fishflame · 07/02/2020 17:45

I was advised (2002) by my consultant to have a couple of glasses of wine per week to help me relax, as I had experienced multiple miscarriages prior to my pregnancy.

My midwife, however, told me not to touch it! However, she did suggest a warm bath with a glass of wine during early labour!

I admit to having a few (small) glasses of wine during the pregnancy.

CatteStreet · 07/02/2020 17:48

To answer the OP's question, people in my circle were generally abstainers or occasional drinkers like me. I've never been aware of anyone drinking regularly (even at the a-couple-of-drinks-a-week level) in pregnancy.