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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Wedding 1 weeks after ELCS... manage my expectations!!

30 replies

Mummyspider27 · 05/02/2020 12:11

So I have a big family wedding 1 weeks after my ELCS (not until July). My family all know so at best they know I will turn up, sit and eat and leave!! Do you think you would have been up to it?
I had an emergency CS 5 years ago and due to the different circumstances last time it’s hard to know whether it might be do able or totally ridiculous to even consider!
Honest opinions please! (Like I say, I don’t expect to do anything but sit, feed (probably cry) eat and come home!) xx

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amazedmummy · 05/02/2020 12:21

Nope, I would not have managed at all and I had a smooth recovery. I was in the house in comfy clothes that didn't touch my incision at all. I was still taking strong pain killers if I wanted to go out and do anything. My milk came in at day 5 so I was struggling to try and BF DS who ended up losing to much weight we were readmitted so one week after I was back in the hospital. I definitely would commit to attending a wedding unless it's a very casual affair and you can cancel last minute without bothering anyone.

Delbelleber · 05/02/2020 12:40

Sounds really stressful.
My elective recovery was worse than emergency recovery. You just can't tell how you're going to be feeling or what your baby will allow in those early days.

Babyg1995 · 05/02/2020 12:43

No I wouldn't I had an elective and recovered amazingly but there's no way I would have managed that I was in doors for 2 weeks while dp on paternity leave think that's why I recovered because even though I was active I didn't overdo it.

CallItLoneliness · 05/02/2020 12:47

I would have managed it easily with my first, and with a little more difficulty with my second. I was tired, but it wasn't so painful that it was world-ending or anything.

PiratePetespajamas · 05/02/2020 12:52

My elective (have had an emergency as well) was lovely, every easy, very calm, with fairly good recovery. But I was in hospital for 4 days (some problem with clotting) and I really don’t think I would have managed this - or wanted to. A couple of weeks after, yes, but this - I think - will really be too soon. I’m sure they’ll understand if you don’t go?!

GAW19 · 05/02/2020 12:56

I had a csection in June, we had a big event to go to just shy of 2 weeks after. I just did what you said, went, ate, sat for a little while then went straight home
As long as you have people to help if you need it then I'm sure you will be fine! Just don't push yourself!

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 05/02/2020 12:56

I had an elective with what I would class as an easy and painless recovery. I wouldn’t, however, been in a position to go to a wedding after a week (maybe 2.5/3). I also wouldn’t have wanted to if I’m honest... you may feel like you would be up for it now but i think you’ll feel differently when the time actually comes. After a week, all I wanted to do is stay in my pjs, snuggle in bed with the baby and feed. Good luck with your decision

ballsdeep · 05/02/2020 12:58

Oh god no. I had a baby a few days ago and it was a straightforward vbac with a tiny stitch. There's no way I'd want to go to a wedding. My milk is everywhere, hormones are rampant and my feet and ankles have grown five sizes.

Original poster

Mummyspider27 · 05/02/2020 12:59

Thanks for a dose of reality everyone! Have been reading so many “I felt amazing” stories!

Just to clarify we are an extremely close family who would totally understand if I wasn’t there, and are allowing me to cancel on the day. So no pressure at all. I have booked someone to do my hair that morning (one less thing to do) who again can be cancelled on the day.

There is no expectation from anyone. Just thought I would see.

My daughter 5 years ago was an emergency and I felt I didn’t ‘cope’ well at all, but at a week we walked into the hospital with a thank you card and popped to my Mum’s work, so in my head thats more physical than sitting at a wedding.

Like I say, I appreciate you all bringing me back to reality! And as a side note I am NOT putting any pressure on myself about it. This is a 4th round IVF baby and the baby and me are my absolute priority xx

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Tableclothing · 05/02/2020 13:02

Had an ELCS a couple of weeks ago. No way could I have coped with that. NB - if you overdo it during recovery, you'll know because your pain levels and bleeding will increase. Not fun.

Also, you'll have a 1 week old baby to look after while you're there.

And this is all assuming your date doesn't get moved and your surgery and recovery are all straightforward.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 05/02/2020 13:13

That’s great that your family are supportive and aren’t pressuring you. Maybe dh and your dc could go and you can stay home with the baby. I would say I fell into the “I feel amazing” camp as I expected to feel much worse after but I still wouldn’t have been in a position to get glammed up and go to a wedding. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and don’t feel any obligation at all to go if you’re not feeling up to it - anyone with a brain would understand completely.

Original poster

Mummyspider27 · 05/02/2020 13:24

Thanks so much. DH and DD will go, even if its for 1 hour. And then I’ll see on the day. No pressure from anyone, including myself. Believe me, I love my bed, so if I want to stay there all day, I absolutely will be!! It will be a shame to miss it, but after everything we have been through to get this baby, missing it is the smallest sacrifice xx

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HoppingPavlova · 05/02/2020 13:27

I didn’t have a CS and no way I could have done it with any of mine.

tinseltitsandlittlegits · 05/02/2020 13:31

I would have been fine to attend after both my sections.
But definitely not after my natural birth.

Lindy2 · 05/02/2020 13:37

I think I'd have been ok to go. It was about a week afterwards that we started venturing out going on gentle walks, lunch at a cafe etc.

As long as it wasn't far away (obviously you mustn't drive), you can sit down as much as you need to and you can wear something loose and comfortable, it might be quite nice to spend a bit of time there, be fed and show off baby.

Your plan to see how you feel on the day sounds sensible.

Ostanovka · 05/02/2020 13:39

I had a catheter in for 2 weeks after my CS, and although the incision was healing fine and I was okay at home and walking around, being in the car was very painful at the incision. How would you get to the wedding?

peachgreen · 05/02/2020 13:42

Hmm, I think I could have gone but I'm not sure I would have wanted to, and it definitely wouldn't have aided recovery.

tried20names · 05/02/2020 13:47

I have had 2 elective sections and could have attended after both. Just leave it as open and see how you feel at the time

Beseen19 · 05/02/2020 13:48

I gave birth just less than 2 weeks ago (vaginally rather than CS) and no way would I have been ready. Would have been fine the first time but this time baby has never latched after trying everything so I'm expressing every 3 hours. So I've got the worlds biggest engorged boobs, have to carry my pump everywhere, couldn't walk or sit down for a week, and couldn't speak to anyone about the birth or the fact that he hasnt latched without crying. Oh and mastitis. Literally no one wants me at their wedding!

GameSetMatch · 05/02/2020 13:54

I could of managed but I don’t know if I’d have wanted to, sitting on a hard pew and hard dining chairs is different to getting comfortable on a sofa or bed. See how you go, everybody is different.

Original poster

Mummyspider27 · 05/02/2020 14:18

Thanks all, seems a bit range of experiences. I’ll expect not to go, and if I do, even for a hour, bonus. Thanks for all your stories xx

OP posts:

Gizmo2206 · 05/02/2020 17:37

I went to my friends wedding 9 days after my section and managed fine. Did feel tired towards the end of the day but also had friends staying (as we live close to venue). I enjoyed showing baby off

Gizmo2206 · 05/02/2020 17:38

They just had a daytime wedding (no evening do a really fancy dinner instead) so think it was from 11-6ish but the as mentioned we hosted friends overnight after. Did have to sit on sofa and relax during the evening as started to feel a bit funny (but also had blood transfusion due to low iron a few days previous so could have been due to that!)

NoNoAndNoAgain · 05/02/2020 17:51

I remember going to look around schools for dc1 when dc2 was eight days old after an elcs. I remember being ok. But it was only an hour or so. And not at all like a wedding!

It varies so much though. I had an awful emcs and I thought it would be the same but for me it was a lot less stressful.

Maybe aim for an hour if you feel up to it. But how about FaceTiming or something for a bit so you can feel a part of it somehow (from the comfort of your own sofa). Your family are awesome by the way for not putting pressure on you.

userabcname · 05/02/2020 17:54

I wouldn't have wanted to. I felt pretty much ok a week after my elcs but not up to much what with the wakeful newborn nights! I do know someone who went to a wedding 4 days after an elcs so it is possible but I can't imagine it would be much fun.

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