4D scan sex slip up

[MaySunshine123]

Hi all,

Not really sure why I'm writing this, but not sure who else to speak to about this.

Currently 35 weeks pregnant.

All the way through the pregnancy, my husband and I have been adamant we didn't want to find out the sex, so whenever we have had a scan, at 20 weeks etc, we have told the sonographer and looked away when they were checking 'that area'.

Arriving at our 4D scan I told them we didn't know the sex and didn't want to know. This was wrote down on our form, and when we entered the room, I explained it again to the sonographer. So whilst we was doing the well being check, again we looked away when she was checking the bladder etc.

Half way through the 4D scan, i had to move a bit as the face was being obstructed by the cord, and then I heard the sonographer say 'He's moved a bit now'.

I know my husband didn't hear because she said it so quietly, and I was in absolute shock that she had said it, but I didn't want to kick up a fuss and ruin it for my husband.

It's really been bugging me as I feel like we've made it all this way without knowing, and now I feel like I know it's a boy and the surprise has been completely ruined for me. (Don't get me wrong, I'm happy either way, but was really looking forward to that amazing surprise moment at the end!)

I feel like I should have said something at the time, but I've obviously left it too long, and it's just been eating away at me that I now know what we're having because of her silly slip up 😩

You are being precious and pretty ridiculous.

Oh, come on, this is just daft.

I’ve got three sons. I’d say he from habit. In the same way all cats are she and all dogs he to me.

My sonographer said "he" throughout my scan at 12 weeks. When I questioned her she said "sorry I do this to everyone. I don't know what sex your baby is at this stage"

I could be a slip of the tongue 🤷‍♀️

*It

You are having a healthy baby boy

When you hold your child you know what you get that amazing moment of love an the relief hey are well, Regardless of if you knew the sex of not

Sometimes they'll say 'He' because nobody wants their child to be called 'it'. Yes she could've said 'they' but it wouldn't necessarily mean it's a boy.

And even if it is you really wouldn't have cared once the baby arrived anyway. There are enough surprises to be had.

Thanks for all the replies- like I said I'm happy either way, and know how lucky I am to have a healthy, beautiful baby, and the 4D scan was amazing to see them in so much detail.

I am hoping it was just a slip of the tongue, and maybe she does just refer to all the babies as 'he', it just bugged me when we made it so clear we didn't want to know the sex.

Roll on the next 5 weeks when I can actually meet the baby!

She didn't actually say "it's a boy" or "it's a girl", maybe she calls all babies "he" rather than "it". So you may still have a surprise on birth day. Of course, she should have used more neutral language like "baby has moved a bit". Enjoy your pregnancy and best of luck with the birth, try to let this go.

Actually, because of the way the umbilical cord was laying on our first baby we both thought we had a boy for about 3 seconds, then we saw she was all girl, 2 surprises effectively, both equally lovely!

Yes, they often just use he whether it’s a boy or girl. I’m surprised you didn’t see the sex though at a 4D scan. With my kids it’s was really hard to miss their genitalia.

What's the 4d scan for?

I have three, all have been called ‘he’ in every scan we’ve ever had. We have 2 girls and a boy.
The problem is, whether the sonographer slipped up or not, if you have do have a boy (obviously there’s a 50% chance) you’ll be convinced that the surprise was ruined for you. So probably best not to dwell on it at all. I think people set too much store by whether they know the sex or not before the birth... I didn’t find out with my first or second but did with my third, and honestly the birth of your child is no less special just because you know what it has between it’s legs.

Truthfully if you didn't want to know what sex you were having you wouldn't have booked a 4D scan. I'm amazed you didn't see anything that gave it away especially at 35 weeks.

You probably would have been better off to clarify with the sonographer whether they had slipped up or whether they just use a generic he for every baby. You’re just going to torture yourself wondering for the next few weeks now instead. If it truly doesn’t bother you what you are having then just forget the scan and look forward to holding that precious little bundle in a few weeks time x

I don’t really understand why you’d be keen to keep the sex unknown but opt for a 4d scan to see their face and features in detail before they’re born?

Surely what they look like, whose features they’ve inherited etc is the real surprise as opposed to a binary option of boy/girl.

I'd love for this to be my biggest pregnancy worry....

Some people just say 'he' to use a pronoun, but seriously, I think a little perspective is needed.

I’m a midwife who happens to have a DS, I always say “he” as I don’t like using it or they and he just comes naturally to me. I very much doubt it means anything at all, even if it turns out to be a boy then it’s still very unlikely she accidentally told you. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth

Even if baby is a boy, look at it this way; you've seen your baby's face through this scan. Do you feel the surprise of seeing their face for the first time after the birth has been spoiled? Are you any less excited about meeting them?

I'm with TerribleCustomerCervix on this. People often focus too much on the surprise of finding out if it's a girl or boy when that's just one small part of the wonder you feel when they're put on you. I knew DD was a girl but I was still surprised to see what see what she looked like, how much hair she had (lots!), what weight she was, seeing she'd inherited her DDaddy's long fingers, etc. And that's before you even start on their personalities. There's still lots of little surprises ahead OP, ones which have way more variables than "boy or girl".

I think some people are being a bit unfair here. We have opted to not find out the sex and I would be equally a bit gutted if someone slipped up and told me. It doesn't matter whether it is or isn't important to someone else, it's important as it matters to you. I had an NHS scan recently, told the sonographer and she was very careful to make sure we didn't see anything.

I do agree with a lot of posters that the sonographer may just say "he" as a fall back. I have heard midwives/health visitors/NCT who tend to pick he or she and stick with it regardless. So, I really don't think you can be sure it's a boy. Perhaps tell yourself this was what the sonographer was doing and wait for the surprise.

Ok, ok, again thank you for all your replies. Obviously I am extremely excited about the arrival of our little one, boy or girl! I will stop being 'precious' and just forget about it and wait for the big day 😆

Take it with a pinch of salt. I have seen too many posts on here recently where the sonographer has got it wrong!

I had my growth scan today all way through she kept saying he even though we all know it's a girl (no way gender could be wrong as we found out through amnio not scan) I think alot of midwife's say he just so their not calling it it

I think some people are actually being pretty harsh.
It's your decision to not find out the gender and you're well within your rights to be upset about it! I think you made the right decision not saying anything to the sonographer because it genuinely could be that they refer to all babies as "he" so as to not slip up, and equally, if you'd made a fuss your husband would now also be believing it's a boy. I think the best thing you can do, is tell yourself that the sonographer was just saying "he" so as to not have to say "it", and in 5 weeks time you'll know for sure. The surprise is technically still intact
Congrats and good luck with the birth xx

I'm quite surprised you didnt see the sex at a 4d scan at 35 weeks to be honest. We didnt find out the sex so didnt get a 4d scan because I thought it would be difficult not to know?
It may just have been a slip of the tongue, I would just think of it like that and not put too much thought in to it.

We didn't want to know the sex. At 2 different scsns, 2 different sonographer referred to baby as he accidentally when scanning so we were convinced baby was a boy. We had a girl.