4D scan sex slip up

[MaySunshine123]

Hi all,

Not really sure why I'm writing this, but not sure who else to speak to about this.

Currently 35 weeks pregnant.

All the way through the pregnancy, my husband and I have been adamant we didn't want to find out the sex, so whenever we have had a scan, at 20 weeks etc, we have told the sonographer and looked away when they were checking 'that area'.

Arriving at our 4D scan I told them we didn't know the sex and didn't want to know. This was wrote down on our form, and when we entered the room, I explained it again to the sonographer. So whilst we was doing the well being check, again we looked away when she was checking the bladder etc.

Half way through the 4D scan, i had to move a bit as the face was being obstructed by the cord, and then I heard the sonographer say 'He's moved a bit now'.

I know my husband didn't hear because she said it so quietly, and I was in absolute shock that she had said it, but I didn't want to kick up a fuss and ruin it for my husband.

It's really been bugging me as I feel like we've made it all this way without knowing, and now I feel like I know it's a boy and the surprise has been completely ruined for me. (Don't get me wrong, I'm happy either way, but was really looking forward to that amazing surprise moment at the end!)

I feel like I should have said something at the time, but I've obviously left it too long, and it's just been eating away at me that I now know what we're having because of her silly slip up 😩

In my fourth pregnancy my baby was referred to as a she quickly followed by a sorry you don't know the sex do you.
DS3 was born a month later!

Many sonographers say baby now

Just out of interest if the sonographer had said she's moved a bit would you feel the same way?

I don't understand why you are having a 4d scan if you don't want to know the sex as I would have thought it could be pretty obvious to see!

For everyone saying "why did you get a 4D scan if you don't want to know the sex"
Funnily enough, when we had a 4D scab they don't actually concentrate on that area because generally speaking, people aren't interested in carrying around a key ring of their child's genitals.

I had a 4D scan with one of mine but wouldn’t want to carry around a key ring of the little alien face image we were given

Good luck OP

Like PP said, I would guess she just says he instead of it

It would sound a bit jarring for her to say it’s moved now

@muddypuddles12 😂😂 that really made me laugh!!

We spent the whole time looking at the baby's beautiful face, and only saw everything chest and above. I'm sure if they had shown us around the pelvic area, we would have obviously clearly seen the genitals, but we didn't go 'down there' at all, so there was no fear of that.

Oh and I also didn't make it clear, we didn't have the scan this week, we had it at 32 weeks, it's just been bugging me since then!

And yes, I would have felt the same way if they had said 'she has moved now'. It's the thinking I had found out the sex that I was bothered by, not the sex itself.

Interesting to hear that other sonographer's have referred to babies as 'he' or 'she', even it is the opposite sex/ sex wasn't known.

Again, thanks for all your comments! I'm feeling a lot more assured that I can go back to the excitement of a surprise.

I'll post back on here when they are born and let you know! 😆

A have been to a few scans (for my self and two other pregnant women) and they always have a preferred gender to call the baby by. They feel it is rude to call a baby it which is true so they tend to call them either he or she.

I'm 38 weeks and was previously having growth scans every two weeks. We also don't want to know the sex and at my 32 week one the sonographer said "he" twice. We have laughed about it and decided to not look too much into it as it is a default for a lot of people to refer to the baby as a he. Another sonographer we had told me if you tell them you don't want to know, then it's common practice that they won't actively go and look at that area at all unless the baby makes it blindingly obvious to them. So yeah I wouldn't read too much into it!!

People have keyrings made of scan pictures now?! Bloody hell.

I didn’t want to find out the sex with DC3 and made this clear to the sonographers but one of them referred to her as ‘he’ so I figured I was having a boy. She’s definitely a girl. I think some just prefer saying he or she to it.

Op I understand you being upset ignore people calling you petty but I'm sure it's just a phrase the sonographer uses don't let it ruin your surprise on the day. At my 12 week scan the sonographer kept saying she and were having a boy :)

We had a 4D scan after our 20 week scan (where we found out we were having a girl) but at the 4D scan the sonographer kept referring to her as 'he' - when we asked him he said its the first sex that came into his mind and he checked..she was still a girl! I think you're probably reading into it abit too much and stressing yourself out x

Hi all, hope you're keeping well and safe!

Just looking back through some old threads, and thought I'd update you if anyone's interested...

We had a girl! 😂💕

Take care xx

Congratulations x

I didn't notice this was an old thread when I started reading!

Congratulations on your baby girl. Looks like the sonographer must call all the babies 'he' then. If you'd had a boy, you'd never have known that

Agree some people are being a bit harsh here - you're allowed to be upset if the surprise is ruined, though as a lot of people say here it's quite common to use 'he' as a generic pronoun - I caught myself doing it the other day and we have no idea of the gender of ours. Bad feminist

Haha also didn't notice it's an old thread!

Congrats on your baby girl - double surprise!

😂😂 thanks for updating us and huge congratulations xxx

I seem to remember my brother and SIL had a similar situation where they didn't want to know the sex but the sonographer absent mindedly slipped in a 'he' during a scan. Turned out to be a girl! Probably best just to put it out of your mind.

Ah @MaySunshine123 that’s so lovely! So you got your surprise after all 😂

We happened to be assigned a sonographer who has a reputation in our city as being able to pick the sex with 100% accuracy at the 12 week scan! No jokes, he’s quite the celebrity and lots of couples try to get him to find out early. I can only hope for positive reasons.

We didn’t want to know the sex, but when we realised who we had for the scan we resigned ourselves to him letting it slip. To his credit, he said he had a system of marking the file in a secret way that only he (and the receptionist who keeps score) can interpret (!).

I couldn’t resist going back after ‘baby’ was born, and sure enough the receptionist told me the 12 week file was marked ‘girl’.

Point being, it’s nice to have an initial strategy about ‘finding out or not’, but to expect it to play out as though you ticked a menu and get cross at the ‘bad’ customer service is just silly. Trust me, having fixed expectations about pregnancies, births, babies and parenting in general is just a highway to frustration. Mostly, it’s all an uncontrolled roller-coaster with very few certainties at all. Better to get used to that early on!

Argh! I’m a few weeks too late with my previous post!

Congrats, I’m sure you’re figuring out the roller-coaster for yourself now!

Congratulations!!