Debate in giving birth and breast feeding

[Ginge35]

Soooooooooo I'm 5 weeks, so aware that I'm in the very early stages and anything could happen BUT me and DH have already started bickering!
I'll explain....
I have never wanted to give birth naturally. I want a C Section and I will make sure I get one but my DH told me absolutely no way and it's better for the baby if it's a natural birth! But, WHAT ABOUT ME?!?! What about what I want? What's best for me and my body!
The same with breast feeding. Now I have nothing against breast feeding at all and I do not, under any circumstances want to offend anyone, but for me personally, I can't think of anything worse!
I know my opinion will offend some and I'm sure I will get some major backlash for airing my opinion but I want to bottle feed, but again DH told me no way! I HAVE TO breastfeed!
I told him he can forget it but he just went on and on and on! Then he went on to expressing and that is supposed to hurt like hell!
I already feel like I'm out of the equation already and I'm going to get so much shit off him and my family and in laws. I feel like I'm going to be judged for what I want.
But it's my body. Shouldn't it be my choice?
Why should I have to conform to what everyone else wants me to do???
This is giving me some major anxiety and I haven't even got very far into my pregnancy yet! I just want to cry! 😢😢😢
Talking to him is not going to make a difference and I feel like I'll end up having a full on breakdown if he carry's on for the next 8 months! 😢😢😢 wtf do I do now! 😢😢😢

Hard to imagine he’d want to deliberately put his baby at risk given the serious medical condition that’s now appeared making a vaguely birth and breastfeeding so dangerous/impossible.

What are his reasons for that?

It's not just about you, you chose to have a baby. If there really are genuine medical reasons (nice drip...) then that will be discussed in detail with the medical professionals.

If it,s medication worht looking up to see if you can feed on the medds or if there is a safe alternative. Associaiton of breast feeding mums may be able to advice. Expressing is a good option. If you choose to formula feed then you have the faff associated with that which I think is worse, but at least hubby can do the night feeds.

I’m with you op on the feeding I always wanted to FF and when dd was born I said I’m Ff and the dr said fine. No pressure.

The c section - if you’ve got good medical reasons than you have but ensure you discuss it with your midwife first

I think you do what you want regarding both but a c section is definitely not an easy option.

Don't know why you're lying now though. Own your reasons.

I always wanted a c section and to bottle feed too. No medical reasons, just preference. My DH felt the same as yours

I didn't request a c section because I couldn't face a battle with medical professionals but ended up with one anyway due to a failed induction and I'm 100% glad I did and consider myself very lucky

I decided to give breastfeeding a go during the postnatal haze but DS wouldn't latch. The idea fills me with horror again now so I can only assume it was some kind of hormonal thing

Zero regrets. Do what you feel is best, it's not your DHs choice

Came on to reply and then saw your update which completely changes you're question 🤨
If you need a section and to formula feed for medical reasons then of course your partner is being unreasonable and surely he knew this was the case when you discussed TTC? How odd.

Given that you and he both know your medical condition and what it precluded, what is it you’ve spent a year researching?

The ‘drip feed’ means nothing.
He has absolutey no right to tell you what you ‘must’ do.
I won’t be breastfeeding and didn’t before. Because I didn’t want to.
That’s enough reason. I’m disappointed any woman on here would tell you that it isn’t a fair enough choice, because it is.

Your DH would be an idiot to say you should chose VB for the benefit of the baby. All VBs carry a small but real risk of catastrophic outcomes to the baby. As PP’s consultant said, choosing an ELCS transfers that small risk of disaster to you (and to your future babies due to risk of scar rupture).

My feeling is that sensible women are guided by the advice of medical professionals and their own informed opinions. If your husband wants a VB, he can always give birth that way

Ignore people alluding to drip feeding over choosing a C section due to a medical condition. There are many medical conditions that would lead a person to consider a C section, many people who have wonderful births that way and, of course, it is a major abdominal surgery so is by no means an easy option. As for breastfeeding, the ideal is always to be on no medications but that isn't feasible for some people. In some cases, a change to medication can ensure mum is well and breast milk isn't affected. That said, we're lucky that formula is a safe option in the developed world and it is absolutely your right to choose it. It's not as if you're planning on feeding your baby red bull

I'm currently 40 weeks waiting for my baby's arrival and all I can really recommend is

1. Don't feel the need to have rigid plans so early on. Pregnancy lasts forever (or at least feels that way!) so do enjoy the experience and look after yourself
2. Discuss your thoughts and feelings with your midwife and/or doctors as they will be able to provide useful information for both you and your husband. The more informed he is, both in terms of medical guidelines and your feelings, the better equipped he will be to support your decisions.
3. Whatever plans you make, the best thing you can do is be flexible.

Good luck!

It does surprise me that your DH wasn't aware of the significant medical issues that mean you CAN'T breastfeed and will DEFINITELY need a CS prior to trying to conceive. It seems odd that that's not something you would have told him. Or does he have problems understanding things? Does he not value your life or the life of your unborn child? If so, why did you agree to have a child with him?