Were you ok with visitors holding your baby?

[MrsSokhi]

I'm just curious to know how you felt when visitors held your baby for the first time?
Did you hate it because of your protective instinct or could you not wait to show them off?

I was fine with others holding DD but I couldn’t cope with her crying and them not giving her back to me. Thank you for trying to give me a break from calming her but I’m sure I’ll be quicker than you and her crying is physically painful to me.

My issue was more with PIL being adamant about taking her for ‘a walk around the block’ without me or DH. They were gone for over an hour and weren’t answering the phone on the one occasion I felt I had no choice but to say ok to. I was a shaking, snotty mess when they finally came back and they were never allowed to do it again. DH gave them an earful too.

Couldn’t agree more that babies are not toys for others’ enjoyment. They are very vulnerable little people and they don’t want to be handed about. They want their primary care giver(s).

Yes i was happy for others to hold my dd's.
Dd2 was 5 days old when we took her to see my mum in the care home. All the residents were thrilled to hold her.

I was happy for friends and family to hold DS. I really don’t understand these over the top mums that have a ridiculous list of rules everyone has to adhere to. Surely it’s just common sense? Most of the people who held DS have raised their own offspring successfully so I had no doubts.

I absolutely love a new baby cuddle so when I had my own I made sure I passed the baby over as soon as friends/family arrived.

Hated it. Still regret letting horrible SIL pressure me into letting her hold DS for photos. Do whatever you feel comfortable with and brook no opposition! It's good training for new parenthood... You're the boss now and everyone needs to get used to it

I was actually fine with it and I thought I wouldn't be.

Happy for close family, was lovely to see them with the babies. I did find people were really respectful and didn't push to hold which I know isn't always the case.

I didn't really like it, no.

Was fine but asked family and friends not to visit if they were sick etc. I feel like it's part of the special moment to let friends and family give the baby a little snuggle...

That’s a good point by PP, if you’ve been happy to hold family & friends babies before you should really be ok with it yourself. Otherwise it’s just double standards.

I'm pregnant now with my 3rd and like my other 2, as long as visitors wash their hands or sanitize them I let them enjoy hugs with my new born. 💕

‘That’s a good point by PP, if you’ve been happy to hold family & friends babies before you should really be ok with it yourself. Otherwise it’s just double standards.’

Of course. Because babies are just like toys.

Didn’t bother me.

I'd never ask to hold someone's baby (because they aren't toys and you don't ask for a turn with a person) but I'd hold them if asked to or "offered" because the first is to help out and the offer is likely to cause offence if declined.

I am very happy to look after babies but it's a privilege to be trusted with that, not a bit of entertainment or therapy.

I agree those who demand to remove the baby from the mother's sight even when she's uncomfortable with that are thoughtless and quite odd.

I was fine with people holding my DD but she was only really held by family and close friends anyway and I was present at the time.

I had one aunt visit who was trying to drink her tea while holding DD and I said no, she could have the cup once DD was back with me (or someone else). I wasn't prepared for anyone to try and drink scalding hot drinks around the baby.

But that's about it.

I let anybody hold my baby 🤭 maybe I’m weird! If it brings them joy I don’t mind and my baby has never been funny with others so it’s never been a problem

Babies aren’t toys, I agree. Holding your friends or families newborn for 5 minutes isn’t treating them like a toy. It’s showing affection. I don’t tend to tie strings to their arms and legs and fling them around like puppets. People are ridiculous.

Only if it was 5 mins.
1 hour + and expecting me to scuttle around making them tea and conversation. No. (Bitter 13yrs on here).