Were you ok with visitors holding your baby?

[MrsSokhi]

I'm just curious to know how you felt when visitors held your baby for the first time?
Did you hate it because of your protective instinct or could you not wait to show them off?

I was happy for visitors to hold both mine. I felt that anyone close enough to be bothered to visit would likely be in dcs lives a lot and I wanted them to feel comfortable with each other. And yes, the joy of seeing my parents and grandmother holding their first grandchild /great grandchild for the first time was very emotional.
I am so lucky that my DIL thinks similarly to me and she was so happy to offer cuddles with my beloved grandson when we met him at a day old. I can't describe that feeling but it is one I'll never forget.

I've not have my baby yet but I'm dreading the day that SIL expects me to let her children have a hold because it's "cute". Baring in mind these children are under 5yo- are very spoilt and don't listen... it's a no from me.

@CarlyB23

Ah, yes, couldn't agree more. This grates me terribly and I didn't allow it unless I was totally comfortable with it.

I used slings from birth with both my babies, coslept, breastfed - it was with deep joy I handed them over (when awake & content) to meet their relatives and our friends. I asked people to wash their hands if they hadn’t already offered, I lied and said the midwives had told me to. I needed them back immediately on first sign of discomfort, which offended my mum. Hard cheese for her.

No I was totally fine with it. Friends, family and colleagues came over in the first few weeks and I was happy for them to get acquainted with my dd.

I did make everyone sanitise their hands though (because I’m anal and ocd!)

How odd that people treat babies as possessions. I feel they are family and give joy to others. It’s wierd to not allow that to happen in a joyful way.

Little children can really understand babies. Let’s hope your unborn baby listens to everything you say and is the model of obedience. Or you will have a tough time being a mum. Let your little relatives hold your baby with supervision. Sit them down and show them what to do. They will be fine!

Btw I would not ask to hold a new baby, even if I were the granny. I’d offer to bring or cook food, to do some washing or cleaning, to entertain any older siblings, and i’d offer that if the mum wanted a shower or nap or break to hold or watch the baby though. It’s natural to feel deeply vulnerable - I felt peeled - post partum and I never want to do or say anything that the mum might feel uncomfortable with. If i’m meeting a newborn i’m likely to have chances to hang out with them in later life too, I can get to know them as bigger babies, very happily.

I was happy to. My mum holding her first grandchild in the hospital was lovely! And I was happy for friends and family to have a cuddle.

I don't mind close friends and family having a cuddle but it's not long before I want him back. He's 8 weeks.

I was very happy to do this with both of my DSs. I remember thinking how therapeutic cuddling a baby is. Didn’t particularly like them smelling of others strong perfume though.

BubblesBuddy feeling protective whilst simultaneously often vulnerable yourself isn't treating babies as possessions. What's truly weird is treating tiny physically vulnerable people like toys or novelty items and demanding "a turn".

My DS used to cry every time my mil picked him up for ages. He would cry each time and I did feel for my mil as she loves babies and just wanted to cuddle him and bond but for some reason DS reacted like that. It was totally painful for me as after 5 minutes I just wanted to take him back but mil persisted and I didn’t want to offend her either as she was struggling and feeling awful too. Really difficult situation I all. She would eventually hand him back still crying.

feeling protective whilst simultaneously often vulnerable yourself isn't treating babies as possessions. What's truly weird is treating tiny physically vulnerable people like toys or novelty items and demanding "a turn"

Totally agree

@Pilot12 that reminds me, I was at a relatives house recently and DS wasn't too happy with all the new noises etc. I put him in his sling and he was perfectly content to I left him there. Once we'd left to go home a comment was made to my mum "you don't get told hold your grandson very often do you?". As if I'd deliberately upset my tiny baby just so someone can have a shot!

Happily handed mine over 😄 anything for two hands to eat lunch/cake/drink etc! I formula fed & initially refused anyone but me, my OH & my mum doing it but then I got seriously ill from an infection in my stitches & rushes to hospital without my daughter, so after that I became a lot less precious! I was in no state to anything for quite a while! I was very grateful for the support from my friends & family!

I hated it, found it physically painful for anyone other than OH to hold her as a newborn. It was such a strong feeling that I really wasnt expecting and I'm really hoping I dont feel that way again second time.

I didn’t mind at all.

Totally fine with it.

I’ve had three DC and it varied with each child, probably due to the circumstances of their birth, my relationship with the person who was holding them and also hormones.

I had a house full of visitors to see my newborn. They were passing the baby between them when someone asked for a turn. My daughter, who was 5 at the time, loudly announced ‘It’s not pass the parcel!’

She was quite right.

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul Couldn’t have put it better!

I encouraged it. A week alone with a screaming baby at the hospital was quite enough for me

No...the baby does not want to be passed around.
I used to either stick them on the boob or flat out refuse to hand them over.

I would practically throw ds at whoever knocked on the door and leg it to the kitchen to make the coffees just having a few precious moments of being in different room and not holding a baby...but he was a velcro baby and wouldn't ever be put down

I had a few rules before anyone held my baby, they weren't to be wearing perfume or strong smells, wash hands before and deffo not aloud to be near baby if they just had a cigarette. Made me feel at ease and turned out to be right as the rare time I wasn't there to supervise baby, if she was with OH, she came out in rash stinking of perfume from relatives at the time.