Got to tell someone!!!

[alexsmum]

I can't keep a secret..I have to tell someone this.Dh and I have decided to try for number 2.Part of me feels really giddy and excited and part of me feels really nervous and unsure.Its such a hard decision to make!!!
It took a long time to concieve ds, nearly 2 years.Anyone know what the likelihood of that happening again is??
The alternative(getting pg really quickly) is an equally scary scenario!!!!!
Anyway,just wanted to tell someone!!

Congratulations to all you pregnant (or nearly pregnant) people out there! I've got a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old and don't want any more children - too exhausted with just the two. But I feel SO gooey whenever I see a heavily pregnant woman or a new born tiny baby. I can't believe I'm like this. Does anyone else feel torn by this kind of thing: definitely doesn't want another baby but gets a real pang at the thought of never again feeling a baby kicking inside or breastfeeding or all the other special things that happen when you're pregnant?

deegward - you due in april then? I'm due on 8th april, had dating scan yesterday

Can I also jump in here, alexsmum & everybody - sorry! Warning - this is VERY long I know just how you feel alexsmum, as I'm in exactly the same position, except I've already got 2, and we've decided to have no. 3. I insigated the whole thing, and really felt clucky, I've made the appointment to have my mirena coil removed, I was really excited, but now I'm so so so confused.

I always thought I wanted more than 2 (probably 4) and still felt that way after no. 1. But with no.2, I found it really difficult. I don't really feel gooey over little babies, and didn't enjoy the baby stage at all with poor no 2. Every day I was wishing his life away thinking, it'll be great when he can sit up/crawl/walk/feed himself etc.

Also, just getting out & about was so difficult (My 2 are v. close together.)

Things seem so much easier now - ds 2 is nearly 2 & they get on so very well.

So I'm really confused. On the one hand I want another - my 2 have such different personalities & are so funny. I wonder what a 3rd personality would be like. I think it'd be fun for the boys to have another sibling. I think I'd be a better mummy 3rd time round (but then I might not be?)

On the other hand, I'm worried about coping with another, how I'd be able go do the shopping etc with 3 little ones ( I wanted the 3rd reasonable close in age to the others, plus I'm worried about my age to leave it too long, especially if we did decide to go for a 4th). I'm worried that socially I'd be written off - I hardly have any friends as it is, all have kids, but most only one & they seem to be put off as it is by my double act.

I'm also having irrational fears that I've 'struck lucky' twice, so fear the odds are building about having a child with physical or mental disorder. I'm so sorry, I don't wish to hurt or upset anyone, and I'm sure I didn't put that well, but do you know what I mean? i couldn't ever consider an abortion, but I have 2 small children and no help at all, apart from dh occasionally. (He is great)

I am all confused about what to do. I'm obsessing about it night & day. Plus I could have the coil removed & not get pg for ages, or could conceive straight away, as Alexsmum i think said. i've read the thread about having 3 & I think asked about this there, and it all sounds so positive, but I'm really confused. Dh, just says he'll go along with whatever I want, sweet but not to helpful, in that the onus is fully on me.

Sorry for rambling so much. How does anyone resolve such a confusing question. I have a coule of weeks before my doctors appointment!

btw, Alexsmum, that 3 shoes... book was imo so awful, and I wish I'd never read it at all, but I was at least glad I'd read it after the event & not before! Put all that negativity out of your head (says Mrs positive here). Having 2 is fantstic - but 3? Please help?

Monkey, all those sentiments sound so familiar -those are exactly the kind of things we were thinking after two (and I'm sure I posted on these boards with similar questions). Really there is no logical reason for having a third (for all those reasons you listed - more pressure financially, emotionally, socially), so in the end we just went with our gut instincts, which were that we actually really enjoyed (mostly) the chaos of children and that we could deal with it. And we now have a lovely little 6-month old boy, who is adored by his two older siblings and of course I just can't imagine now why I had any doubts (and of course I am blessed that they are all healthy). The beginning with a baby is hard - I can't believe how they tie you down, and just when my older two (5 and 3) were beginning to be able to do all sorts of things on their own, but we do cope. If you have low expectations about what you can achieve in a day, then you will exceed them! We now seem to know lots of people with three children and those with fewer have been really helpful and supportive. Hope this is encouraging!

That is, Sid, thanks a lot. I can't believe and understand that I'm feeling like this. I had no doubts with the other 2, and was so sure about this one, until now..

Monkey, I cannot advocate having 3 nearly enough. I always wanted 3 - 2 just never seemed enough for me, although I have large gaps in between all of mine so obviously it is easier than having them closer together.

I have a girl of 9, boy and 5 and baby of 11 months. I now feel I have my complete family - although no husband now - he left me when baby was 11 weeks old! but I would not be without any of my children.

People had a lovely time telling me how hard it would be having 3 children (and this was when I still had a husband to help out) but it is so easy. All my children are good sleepers and, because my eldest is 9, she is such a help with the baby.

If anyone was in doubt about having a third, I would say think long and hard about it and having 3 children opposed to 2 does make a difference - fitting them in the car means one has to sit in the middle in the back (although not in my case as I have no-one to sit in the front!), sleeping arrangements. Although I have a 3 bedroom house with loft extension (where husband used to sleep before he moved out), I don't like the idea of any of my children sleeping up there yet (although the stairs to the loft are an integral part of the house - just like another floor), although I am sure when my eldest is older she will love to have her own space (she is sharing with the baby at the moment).

The only thing I find hard, especially now I am on my own, is the after-school activities. It is so hard to fit them in for all the children - eldest daughter goes to Brownies (which finishes at 7:30 but it means my son and baby cannot go to bed when they normally do as we have to drive to pick the eldest up), son wants to start cubs when he is old enough, son does football on a Saturday - luckily daughter does trampolining at same sports centre at same time, son does swimming lessons Saturday afternoon (sometimes it seems they have a better social life than I do).

What is a bit hard, for example, is this Saturday my eldest daughter has been invited to a party from 6 pm to 9 pm - what do I do? Son and baby are normally in bed by 7:15 - I cannot leave them to pick eldest daughter up, it is not fair to keep them up or wake them up to collect her and it is not fair for eldest to miss out. I expect I will have to be "humble" (which I hate being) and ask one of the other mum's if they can drop my daughter home for me.

(In saying that I don't like being humble, I will do anything I can to help out my friends and my children's friends mums if I can but I just don't like asking for favours myself).