Partner wants me to get an abortion.

[Pizza1997]

Just looking for some advice really.
So I’ve been with my partner around 3 years.
Round about a year ago I fell pregnant I had a termination because at that point it was the right thing to do. We didn’t have a house together my boyfriend didn’t have a stable job, we wasn’t exactly stable, and as much as the choice hurt me at that moment i do still believe it was the right thing to do but it still hurts a lot.
About 7 months ago we moved in together, my partner got a stable job, and I fell pregnant again, this ended in a miscarriage which really did crush us both.
After that we both just agreed when pregnancy again happened it happened and we wasn’t actively trying or rushing, but we was not being careful either, but both agreed when it did happen we’d be happy!
So recently I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again, and my partner has said he doesn’t feel ready for a baby, and that he wants me to terminate.
I know In my head that’s not what I want to do as the reasons for the termination in the past have completely changed now, he said he wouldn’t force to, but didn’t say he wouldn’t leave me if I was to have the baby he just said he didn’t know if he would...
I don’t know what to do because I really wouldn’t want to be a single mum, I dreamed of having such a perfect ‘normal’ family.
I wouldn’t want to resent him if I got a termination, but I wouldn’t want him to resent me or leave if I kept the baby. I just don’t know what to do

He's told you he doesn't want a baby. Hopefully he'll just walk away and let you bring up the baby on your own.

Do you have a good relationship with his family?

I don’t really talk to his family anymore I used to be very close to them but when we moved out together his mum kinda blamed me for taking him away, she came round eventually and realised it wasn’t my fault but i don’t really speak to them now tend to stay out the way

I definitely wouldn’t terminate if you have any doubts over it whatsoever. My partner told me I had to have an abortion or he would leave (we have 2 children together already but are going through a rocky patch) anyway I didn’t really mention it again and when I was 10 weeks he asked if I’d made a decision. I said there was never a decision to make and that I’m keeping the baby. He left that day but returned that evening, cried, told me I’d ruined his life and that he really didn’t want anything to do with this baby and that o had forced him to be a Father to a third child. It was ridiculous. Anyway that was 2 weeks ago and he is still here. He does make odd comments like ‘how will you cope in labour on your own’ but I just ignore them/him. Other than that everything is pretty much normal. I still don’t know if he will leave or if he is slowly figuring it all out in his own head. Either way I’ll be fine and so will you. :)

I think the priority here OP is leaving this guy. Despite how 'amazing' you've said he is in other aspects, no 'amazing' guy would mess around someone he cared about like this and expect any woman to get an abortion. That's just messed up and shitty.
Once you've left him and cut ties you then need to decide about the baby, as a separate issue. Hope you figure out what you want x

Kezmum Yeah maybe he’s just shocked about everything like your oh but he’s gone a shitty way about it! Your so strong to ignore him and go ahead anyway hopefully I can be to good luck with your pregnancy x

Uter maybe your right, I think I just need to figure out what I want with the baby and decide abour him separately thanks for response x

WOW!! Firstly congratulations and secondly I am so sorry you have to go through this when it should be the most exciting time of your life.
It sounds like this is something you really wanted so if you were to go through with a termination the previous posters are right you will regret that decision and blame him.
Only you can decide what you do next but he should be ashamed that he's put you in this position in the first place, if he wasn't sure then he should have spoken up before.
If you really can't see yourself with out him give him an ultimatum, it's the baby or we split. That might get him thinking but personally you deserve better.
Wish you all the luck in the world and I hope your happy with your decision which ever it is xxxx

Op sending best wishes here. The harsh reality is your partner is being completely unreasonable and should have taken precautions if he wasn't ready and can't expect you to just keep terminating pregnancies because he's changed his mind this is completely selfish. Stick to your guns on this one!