First baby now I'm 36...absolutely terrified!!

[MsEm]

Ok, so I was taken to a&e yesterday with abdominal pain (which has turned out to be gastritis) and was told I'm pregnant. Got called to the early pregnancy unit this morning, who confirmed the baby is absolutely fine, and that I'm approximately 8 weeks along. I'm 36 years old, and never thought I'd actually ever be a mother. I had a stroke age 29, and have a couple of medical issues...so now I'm absolutely terrified about my baby. I do want him/her...but I'm alone as my relationship was a bad one, so the dad is gone my brother has been good about everything but my own mother is not exactly close to me. My dad- we used to be close, but not so much anymore. Theres no question on my mind- I'm happy about my baby (after initial crying and throwing up) but I know I'm kind of on my own. And being 36, I know I'm considered old to be pregnant. I really just wondered what other people's experiences have been like in similar situations, as yes I'm happy...but so scared too

Congratulations amazing news you must be so happy,your not old i just had baby no.6 and im 40. Lots of women are having babies in late 30s i had 4 of mine in my 30s and 2 when i was young and ive enjoyed it more as ive gotten older.
Enjoy being pregnant & enjoy being a mummy it is amazing.
Dont be scared you will be fine us women are strong we get through anything. If you ever need anyone to talk to pm me x

Well I can’t advise on the other stuff but I’m having my first at 36 and it’s been fine
I’ve had no morning sickness , no problems at all. In fact I’ve never felt or looked better . I’ve known much younger people have horrendous pregnancies so I would take your age out of your worries

I had my first at 36, not old at all these days

My mother had me at 36 and it was awesome. She had way more knowledge and experience of the world to share with me than my friends whose mothers were 20 when they had them. Although that depends on the person, I guess!

And now I’m 35 and just found out I’m pregnant with my first. You can do this! In fact, you can do this really well. Don’t worry.

Thank you so much everyone for those comments. My own dad has just told me I'm not fit to bring up a baby...so now sobbing but, you know what...I love this baby already, and will go to the ends of the world to make sure he/she has everything and more. Its gutting that my dad has said that, but neither my baby or me need that negativity xx

That made me stop crying, put my hand on my belly and smile. Thank you so much hun

@Angelinthenightx
That made me stop crying, put my hand on my belly and smile. Thank you so much hun

Congratulations on your excellent surprise news! I am nearly 35 and pregnant with my first, and my mumma was popping them out until she was 46, so 36 doesn't seem old to me at all. You will be amazing 😊❤️

You can do it OP. Huge congratulations

I'm 36 and just had my first. She is 7 weeks old.

She was a much wanted ivf baby. All I got told was for ivf terms I was young 😂

Hope you're ok.
Congratulations

@maceratedstrawberries

Congratulations on yours too! I think it's all still just such a shock lol. But the last thing anyone needs is negativity and i know it's just important that things are as good as poss for baby. Think this is driving me as insane as the heartburn and acid reflux Haha x

Congratulations OP. I was 37 when I found out I was having my ds. You can definitely do this, have faith in yourself xx

@PrayingandHoping awww 7 weeks? Seriously cute congratulations xx

Hi op, had my first at 35 years, I confess first trimester was tough for me with sickness but I had a low risk pregnancy.
I have a bad back and knees if you do too get a giant maternity pillow it’s amazing

I didn’t slow down and worked upto 2 weeks before due date, I had a text book birth no issues

I have a cousin about 6 years younger she has two beautiful boys and she has a host of medical issues she had her 2nd baby after a full hip replacement awaiting her other hip to be done and has fibromyalgia she is rocking being a mum

It’s not easy but if you want to be a mum take your chance as there are many rewards too

Ps your dad is an arse

I really hate it when people in their 30's complain that they're old to be mothers. I am 44 and Mummy to a four year old and a six month old. I do not consider myself to be old.

@Pilot12

I'm NOT complaining about being pregnant at all! The midwife I spoke to said it herself that medically, mothers over 35 are considered old. So it's a medical professional's words to me, NOT my opinion

Had my DS at 36. Congratulations x

@MsEm @Pilot12 I can remember my mum getting so mad when she had her 3rd kid at 36 because healthcare professionals kept being referring to her as a "geriatric mother"! 😂 The terminology is neither flattering nor confidence inspiring tbh

My consultant was telling me last week that calling pregnant women over 35 "old" was outdated, incorrect and based on studies that medical professionals now know to be absolute rubbish. 36 is in no way old to be pregnant.

I haven’t heard it referred to as geriatric pregnancy by any professionals. But I’d heard the term used by other ppl before I got pregnant. I did notice that there was a box to tick on my notes if I was over 40 so maybe that’s the new marker

Definitely considered a geriatric pregnancy in my case at 37 it was referred to as such a few times with me.. I tried not to be offended ha ha

@MsEm the geriatric mother age range moved to over 40 this year 😀. I'm 38 and currently 18 weeks, although this is number 2, my son is 16 so this all feels completely new. Your age is not a factor really (may just mean extra care). It is totally normal to be emotional about everything and anything, let alone people suggesting you are not fit. I have worries about my own capabilities and I am married, only natural, having a baby is a daunting task even when planned.
If you are experiencing anxiety, please confide in your midwife, they will have seen this so many times that they will be able to help. Lots of people do this on there own every day and there are support groups and antenatal classes o teach you some of the skills needed.
Sounds like you want this baby so focus on keeping yourself healthy and find a group on these boasted that you can share all the usual pregnancy worries and strains with, they are a god send.
And I personally think ( in my experience) that men often cannot attach themselves to early pregnancy anyway, it's not really 'real' yet, so attitudes can change. Glad you have your brother onside.

Congratulations on your exciting news .
You will be fine and will quickly see that this is the best thing to have happened to you .
I had my DD at 36 ....absolute joy of my life 😀😀

I wish you all the happiness in the world for this next journey in your life .
Good luck - take care xxx

Please come back and tell us how you are getting on x

Congratulations to everyone with their pregnancies and babies

Have given up worrying about all the bs lol. I swear down, fretting is making the sickness non-stop

Hi OP,

Congratulations!

It will take a while for the news to sink in fully, I’ve recently just found out too and keep forgetting (and then the nausea reminds me!)

I’m a health visitor and most of our mums are around 30+ which is very much the norm in a lot of areas nowadays. My mum had me many years ago at 20 and had my sibling at 40! She’s been absolutely fine and you will too