My boyfriend said he will leave me if i don't get an abortion. What do i do?

[Poppet626]

Some of you may have seen my previous post on here about being scared to tell my boyfriend im pregnant. So i did tell him and he said he didnt want baby, i should get an abortion. I said i didnt feel i could having done it before, although pregnancy was unplanned i dont want to abort. He said he is going to leave me as he does not want the child and will hate it as its been forced on him, i will be nothing in life other than a single mum but atleast now i can not work and sit on my ass all day. He said the child should already be dead and he will chuck me money each month but wont stay with me if i keep baby, he says ive ruined his life, he has spoke to his mum and she agrees i should not be making sudden decisions. He is 28 i am 23, i dont know what to do, ive never felt pain like this. He also offered to pay me to get an abortion.

If you feel you can financially and emotionally cope with a baby on your own then I would do that. You clearly don’t want to have an abortion and he cannot force you to but you do need to go ahead as though you will be raising the baby alone. He sounds like a total wanker.

After that I would say your relationship is over anyway- could you stay with him after he tried to bribe you to abort?

So take him out of the picture and decide if you can/want to do this without him. Obviously you would still need to make a CMS claim but from a practical perspective it looks like you’d be going it alone. Do what’s right for you and you alone.

He sounds horrible and you will be better off without him whether you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy or not. Ignore all the rubbish that he says to you, plenty of woman cope perfectly fine being a single parent and I’m sure you will to.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

If you want to keep the baby, leave him and do it on your own.
Register the birth alone and baby has your last name.
It's hard alone but easier than with a partner who isn't on board.

Let him walk, you do what you want.

Are you serious he's offered to pay you to have an abortion?? I'd say bye bye to him!! You don't want an abortion and why would you even want to be with someone who says stuff like that to you? Being a single mum isn't bad there are thousands of women who do it.

I am in the same situation..... although we do have 2 children already. In November I found out I was pregnant and he said he would leave if I don’t have an abortion, he said he doesn’t want anything to do with this baby and that I’m forcing him to not be around for his other 2 children if I decided to keep the baby. I felt so guilty that my other children would grow up in a single parent family and not see their Dad everyday because of a decision I was making. Someone on here pointed out that he made that decision not me. I wasn’t ever going to have an abortion but we plodded along while ignoring the fact I was pregnant. When I was 9 weeks I made it clear I was keeping the baby and he left. I didn’t call him or text and just thought I’m going to keep going and ignore him. Anyway he came home about 6hrs later, cried and said I’ve ruined his life. He’s still here and I’m not sure what’s happening really, he talks about me being pregnant but a few hours later will ask me bizarre questions like ‘how are you going to manage being in labour on your own’ is just odd. I’m assuming he needs time to adjust and things will work out and if they don’t then I’ll manage on my own. I definitely don’t feel the same about him since he said he’d leave if I didn’t abort the baby.
Not sure what I’m trying to say but if you don’t want an abortion don’t have one. You will be absolutely fine raising a baby on your own. :)

In a similar situation except my husband didn't threaten to walk if I kept baby. I wanted it, he didn't, I decided I was going to keep it anyway and now he's excited about being a dad though still scared (but so am I!). He's not worth keeping if he's saying he'll leave you and baby. Keep it and let him walk away. His loss! You won't care when baby comes.

Do not get an abortion if you don't want it. Tell him to get lost.

Would you honestly want to stay with him if you got an abortion?

Could you ever honestly forgive him?

What would happen if you fell pregnant again? Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. Would you just get abortion after abortion just to keep him happy?

Let him walk

You poor thing. Unfortunately, this relationship is already over because surely you can see that the kind of man who would not only threaten you but say such cruel things while you are in a crisis is not someone you would want to be with? If you have an abortion, I can assure you that this relationship will not continue. Even if you try your best, you'll never forget his behaviour. And importantly, he'll never forget that by threatening you he got exactly what he wanted so he'll pull out the "if you don't do x I'll leave you" card on a regular basis.

So now you just have to decide whether you want a baby alone or whether you want to start your fresh new single life without a baby. His thoughts, feelings and reactions are irrelevant. It is 100% up to you.

My OH wasn’t happy when he found out, but luckily he never said he would leave me. Fast forward 18 weeks and he’s happy. It takes more time for them to come round to that idea.

My friends OH however did say the same as your partner, she kept the baby, who is now here..and they are back together.

In same position I have two children and pregnant wi number 3 but partner doesnt want it told me to get rid or he will leave n if I have it he will leave n only have something to do with the two he wants but nothing to do with this one, my feelings haven't even been considered as a few months previous I lost one I couldn't take another lose I would never forgive myself so am gunna do this on my own I have love of my kids that's wot will keep me going ☺

The relationship is over. What would you like to do about the pregnancy? Don’t be bullied and don’t feel rushed.

Whatever you do, whether you have an abortion or decide to keep the baby... why would you want to continue this relationship with this man? He has shown you exactly what he is and more importantly how he feels about you.

Two things OP - first, you must break up with your boyfriend. Regardless of what else happens he has shown himself to be a horrible person, and there is no future in the relationship.

Then, decide if you are willing and able to be a single parent. Your ex will have to support the child regardless of whether or not he wants to keep it, so work out how much money you will need and how you will manage.

Please do not have an abortion for the sake of keeping your shitty, horrible boyfriend because the relationship is already broken beyond repair, and aborting will not resolve that. You should absolutely only have an abortion if it is what you want to do.

Selfish idiot. Get rid of him. You will end up resenting him anyway.

Bloody hell totally dump him. Hes horrible and no one deserves to be treated like that.
Then have some counselling to try and work out what you want to do about the pregnancy.
The two arent interlinked because you can never be with him now

What a cunt, ltb!

Zombie thread

Post from dec 2019 ?

Chocforthewin ye I read that after commented unfortunately mines happening now n I can relate to who posted it xxx

@Littledevil247 just read your original post OP. It's a shame that he has not considered your feelings at all but you've got this. The love of your children is worth more than anything. Hope you are okay

Take his money. Raise the baby alone. Of COURSE you will be "more" than a single mum! You have absolutely everything open to you as a 23 year old. You are worth 20 of him and you are going to have a fabulous life, as soon as you realise that.

Oh FFS zombie thread?