Big baby, big fatty pregnancy ?

[bigbabyshame]

Hello,

This is going to sound ridiculous - however, please hear me out.

Is having a larger baby ( weight wise ) a sign that you've been a fatty during pregnancy ?

Is having a big bump a sign you've been a fatty during pregnancy ?

My babe is measuring reasonably normal (50th centile ), but not small and I can't help feeling like she's going to be massive and I feel ashamed of it- like I've caused it or something ? I just can't help but get a bit upset when people say that I'm absolutely huge and that the baby is going to be absolutely huge- did I cause that by eating too much ?

@WYP2018 I will definitely bring it up in the next appointment. You're definitely right that I need to be strong and healthy for my girl when she's here. I'm glad you got over your bulimia.

This is all completely alien to me and actually, the total opposite to what I experienced recently.

I am 5ft 9ins and was a large baby myself (almost 10 lbs). My two older sisters are more petite and both had biggish babies (one over 10lbs). In our family, for a couple of generations, we hadn't had a baby weigh less than 8 and a half pounds.

Until my DD now aged 8 came along. Her dad's family is small. He's 5ft 8ins and his mum is not 5ft, so DD was just under 7lbs when she was born.

I'm now 13 weeks with my 2nd. My new partner is much taller and was a big baby himself. Nevertheless, I was informed last week that because of a combination of my height and weight and DD's weight when she was born, I will be having extra scans this time to try and prevent a low birth weight.

I was definitely under the impression DD's petiteness was viewed as a concern and as most pregnant women do, automatically assumed it was because Id done something wrong.

This thread has been quite depressing to read...PP getting into jeans within hours, women eating more during pregnancy when their appetites are roller coasters described as fatties etc...the idea bigger babies are shameful? Like there isn't enough to worry about

This thread has been quite depressing to read...PP getting into jeans within hours

Oh no, I hope I didn't contribute to this. I am absolutely no paragon of virtue, I was just extremely lucky to have a very comfortable pregnancy which enabled me to be quite healthy throughout. If it helps I developed PND and ate my bodyweight in cake for a year to bribe myself to leave the house and went back to work heavier than I was when I was 41 weeks pregnant!

@DontCallMeDaisy the thread is depressing, but I think it's the reality of how a lot of women end up feeling unfortunately. Like having a big baby is caused by a lack of self control during pregnancy and just eating loads. Having a smaller baby seems to mean ( to some ) that you're a super athletic, healthy pregnant woman who has lots of self control with a tiny bump and an 'all bump' pregnant look. 😩

That was the point I was trying to make, bump size doesn't mean anything towards baby's actual size as I was genuinely huge, I've attached a photo from three days before baby was born, but she was average sized. I think there are other factors at play and to absolutely not feel embarrassed or ashamed of your size or what you eat during pregnancy. I lived off of instant noodles for about two months and ate at least two bags of maltesers a day, as well as a ginsters pasty. I ate fruit and veg as well but for the most part I was unhealthy. Also all of my weight gain was on my stomach (I did swell up but I had preeclampsia) and my bump was solid not at all fatty.

@thatguiltyfeeling I see what you mean. I've heard that bump size really has no bearing at how big the baby will be. Your bump doesn't look that huge though- mine is not far off lol and I still have a few weeks left 🤣

I wouldn't say so, I think sometimes it's just gentitics. My first I had horrible sickness and didn't eat that well but he was 8.8lb and I looked like a whale. this one I've had no sickness and eaten SO much and shes measuring tiny 10th centile, my bump is small can almost see her outline. Pregnancy is weird

My first pregnancy i ate very health and only gained 22 pounds. Baby was born 2 weeks early and weighed 6.5 pounds.
Second my diet was crap. I gained 55 pounds. Baby was almost 2 weeks late and weighed 5.5 pounds. So was even smaller when i ate crap. Both very healthy and everything went well.

Low birth weight is associated with serious poor health outcomes for the baby. High birth weight is much less problematic. Having a tiny baby is not a great outcome to be smug about. Although should add most babies are healthy regardless of weight - just saying that deliberately trying to have a small baby is a bad idea.

The baby's size is partly, but only partly dependent on the mother's weight gain.

There is an interesting chapter about it in Expecting Better by Emily Oster

You really need some help with this. The people around you sound like a major influence. If weight bothers you this much I would suggest you already have major issues.
Large babies are nothing to be ashamed of, no direct link to how much you eat. I’ve never heard of shaming large babies.

As for the term ‘baby chubb’??!

I wasn't too bad in pregnancy, probably had a little more chocolate that usual, but nothing off the scale, went to the gym 3-4 times a week up until 21 weeks and was then deemed high risk. I packed on four stone, DD was only 7lbs 10oz when born, a huge chunk of my weight was water retention, so three stone of that went by week five

I'm expecting our first baby soon (34+1) and likely to be induced a bit early. I've had growth scans as I'm high risk (higher BMI, history of diabetes in family and mental health) and both so far have shown baby to be on the 95th percentile... Though midwife hasn't done the normal measurements because I'm having the scans, she did say he/she doesn't feel small! The way I see it if they do come early and are a bit of a chunk then they're more robust and have some reserves to keep them going. If I think of my friends/family they're a real mix of sizes pre-pregnancy and in fact one of the slimmest gave birth to 2 girls who were both well over 9lbs! I wouldn't say they looked particularly big and one of my best friends looked bigger but baby turned out to be 6lb10 so mostly water. Up until 28ish weeks I was still doing quite a bit of walking but now have SPD which is unpleasant to say the least and I'm concerned I'm going to put on more weight than 'normally' because I can barely get around.

I’ve had my baby today at 39+6, she was 7lb 7 so I don’t know what this means for the logic we previously posted haha

My baby was 7 pounds and I had gained in total approx 6 kg in the last part of the pregnancy. So basically 3 kg of baby, and the rest in fluids / placenta etc. Had a fairly small bump too. I was back down to my pre-preg weight and size the day after the birth. Another friend had a similarly sized baby but the world’s biggest bump due to polyhydros - her weight loss was similar to mine when she had baby too.

I’m glad that you have started this thread and acknowledged your issues, OP. I say this with only kindness as someone with a similar history, but when you have such a disordered relationship with food and your body image you have to work doubly hard not to pass this on to your daughter and it really is quite urgent that you get some help to deal with this. In particular, if your MIL’s comments are a trigger for your disordered eating then you need to protect yourself from them, and think carefully about what her effect will be on your daughter’s body image in the coming years. This stuff starts early.

I hope that seeing your body’s amazing achievement in growing and birthing your daughter will help you to develop a new, healthy, loving relationship with it.