Big baby, big fatty pregnancy ?

[bigbabyshame]

Hello,

This is going to sound ridiculous - however, please hear me out.

Is having a larger baby ( weight wise ) a sign that you've been a fatty during pregnancy ?

Is having a big bump a sign you've been a fatty during pregnancy ?

My babe is measuring reasonably normal (50th centile ), but not small and I can't help feeling like she's going to be massive and I feel ashamed of it- like I've caused it or something ? I just can't help but get a bit upset when people say that I'm absolutely huge and that the baby is going to be absolutely huge- did I cause that by eating too much ?

Casual fat shaming but ok.

@StarlightIntheNight that does make sense. Everyone gains differently and you're right, perhaps a lot of the weight you gained was water weight. People tell me that I don't look that massive apart from the bump. I'm usually quite curvy (10-12) and I have to work very very hard to stay that size. Otherwise I would be around a 12-14 or bigger. As soon as I let my diet slip for a couple of weeks, I gain a stone. It sucks. At least I know how to diet once the baby is out. 😭

@BarbourellaTheCoatzilla I'm interested to understand your comment. Do you mean this entire post or anything in particular ?

I'm finding this thread fascinating because it's so different from my own experience.

I've never heard of big babies being shamed before. At my 20wk scan I was told she was on 50th centile and had exactly the opposite reaction to you, OP. I'm on the tall and had always assumed I would have big baby. Being told she was 50th centile, I worried that I hadn't eaten enough of the right things and I'd restricted her growth! (Have calmed down and got a bit of perspective about this now) Although she does seem to be jumping centiles since I got my anaemia treated.

Finally, OP, your repeated use of the word "fatty" - especially to describe women who gain weight in pregnancy! - is a bit problematic for me. Weight gain in pregnancy is normal and healthy. Eating (pregnant or not) is nothing to be ashamed of.

Oh you poor thing that's awful - my sis had that and I had HG but you've got both 😱
Definitely go easy on yourself - you've done an amazing job getting through it, HG is so debilitating.

There are some people who are lucky enough to skip through pregnancy feeling and looking great - I am not one of them sadly! Am 16 weeks with Dc3 now and I dread to think what size jeans I'll be in after this one 😁 but I'll aim to get back to my pre-all-3-babies size before this last one starts school!

I've literally never heard of bigger babies being fat shamed or even mothers who carry big babies being fat shamed that's a new one to me.

I've always eaten whatever I've wanted/fancied during all of my pregnancies I'm on my 3rd now and he's looking like he's going to be my biggest. My first was 7lb 11oz I gained 10lb my 2nd was 9lb 8oz I gained about 2 stone and this one is looking to be bigger and I've gained less than half a stone... I've constantly measured 4 weeks over since 24 weeks and baby is just over top line and I've never felt like it's been my fault or even had anyone say to me it's because I've not eaten well etcc he's just growing as he is.. I've not got GD and he is healthy as is placenta and everything else I have all boys too. X

@Tableclothing I also find your attitude fascinating actually and really refreshing. That's how it should be. We are obsessed with our bodies ( at least I am ) and being fat or thin. Wishing I could have gained less weight in pregnancy. I beat myself up about this daily and have even developed unhealthy habits ( making myself sick ). - although this does help with my nausea when it's really bad. I know sometimes I do it just to get the food out so I don't get ' too fat ' and people don't comment on my ' big bump ' and ' potentially huge baby '. That's how I talk to myself and it's very wrong and I'm sorry if I offended anyone else by speaking this way. I CLEARLY have issues. I always have had, but in no way would I want to fat shame anyone else. I'm just very used to fat shaming myself, so it's not even that obvious to me. Weight gain in pregnancy is very normal, but I can't help but feel that women who ' only gain a few pounds ' are praised for it and the ones like myself who gain a bit more - end up hearing all about the ' huge bump ' ' huge baby ' huge arse ' whatever else. Also, wherever you read stuff on NHS websites etc, they go on and on about how ' pregnancy isn't an excuse to eat what you want ' and gaining too much weight is so terrible etc etc. It just feels like everyone is fat shaming during pregnancy.

Try not to worry OP. The size of your baby is mainly genetic IMO and not closely related to what you ate during pregnancy. Also, as others have said, a nice big healthy baby is a good thing!

Op do you stress about your weight when you're not pregnant? You talk about 10-12 being "quite curvy" but I'd consider it quite slim. You're stressed over the comments of a bug baby but have cocneded it's only MIL so it seems like you're unduly affected by them.

I've never known anyone make disparaging remarks about large babies. Woman at school had a 10lb baby and we all comment in how cute and chubby he is. I'm pregnant with twins measuring 60th percentile, lots of comments about what a gooodj ob I'm doing growing them etc. I'm assuming you don't have GslD?

I'm tall and was over 8lbs and people hardly knew my mother was pregnant! I gained about 24lbs with my first and he was over 10lbs. But he measured big and I had a csection (at 37 weeks). He could have been almost 12lbs if I'd gone to 40 weeks.
So I don't see much between a persons weight gain and baby. I've known people to gain over 50lbs and baby be average.

@bigbabyshame would you benefit from speaking with your midwife as making yourself be sick esp during pregnancy isn't healthy.. They could maybe offer you some help? X

@Boymummy3 I'm happy you haven't heard of it and sorry that you have now, because it's literally the dumbest thing ever !

It sounds like you have a healthy and balanced view of your babies and your body and I think that's amazing. I grew up my entire life hearing how pregnancy was going to RUIN my body and how some pregnant women get super fat because they just like to eat. Just look at how the media treated kim kardashian when she was pregnant. People were very cruel. It happens all the time unfortunately- celebrity or not. If you look huge in pregnancy, you're shamed about it- whereas the ones who stay slim and are ' just bump ' and a small one at that - seem to get all the compliments. As they 'look' like they didn't over eat.

I lost weight during all 4 of my pregnancies due to sickness my babies were 11lb4, 9lb 8, 10lb and 9lb 9.
Size of babies I think has more to do with genetics. My husband's family are all very tall. My 15 year old nephew 6ft 5 and still growing.
Eat as healthily as you can but if you want a cake, have a cake!

Cross Post.

Please speak to your midwife OP. either developing or continuing to have bulimia during pregnancy is something you need support with.

Also talk to DP and tell him to tell MIL to SHUT UP!

@Boymummy3 I don't do it too often. Just when I feel super sick or have just eaten too much. I know it's not ideal, but it's definitely not a daily thing. A few times a week. I can speak to the midwife anyway though, she might have some tips. She's been very good with me when I've talked about not being able to walk far and therefore not being able to exercise and just feeling huge. She said it's all fine and not to stress about it.

@SleepingStandingUp yes always have had issues with the weight thing unfortunately. Never had an eating disorder. But weight is a constant worry for me. Yeah MIL has been told to shush and I will speak to the midwife. I was never physically able to make myself sick before I got pregnant and I don't want to enter into a cycle. I don't do it too often and it does relive the nausea - so it's a double edged sword kind of thing. Not ideal.

@bigbabyshame

I think you've got a bit of a problem with food. I'm not obsessed with my body. It is what it is. I try hard to keep in shape and look nice but it's not the be all and end all. You're pregnant and your body is changing. Best get used to it

@Lostmymarbles1985 really ! It just shows how ignorant people are. I showed my dad my bump and he said maybe I needed to eat less. That's so outrageous isn't it.

@ballsdeep yeah it's true, I won't deny it. I always thought I wouldn't get like this in pregnancy and would just accept it. But it hasn't turned out that way.

@bigbabyshame your post is really concerning to be honest. While nobody likes being bigger than they would like, it is accepted that a degree of weight gain is normal and healthy during pregancy.

Making yourself sick to control your weight is neither normal nor healthy.

Please see your midwife urgently.

@CalamityJune I will. But I've gained a lot of weight already. So it's not out of control, in terms of the making myself sick part. I've already gained over the recommended amount. I'm embarrassed to say just how much.

@SleepingStandingUp I don't have gestational diabetes at this stage 🤞

People really can be so rude. There is something about a bump makes people think they have the right to comment. It is infuriating.
You are growing a whole new human being. It is natural to put some weight on. Also bumps can be huge and mostly water. I had alot of water retention aswell. Every woman will carry differently.
I am lucky in that I loved being pregnant I loved watching my belly grow but input weight on after they were born. My youngest is 3 now and I weigh more now than when she was born🙄

@Lostmymarbles1985 I think they really don't understand what it's like. I didn't really, before I was pregnant. I just thought when you're pregnant, you just accept that you're gaining weight - because you're pregnant. I didn't really understand why people stressed out about it. I would always say ' but you're pregnant ' it's normal !

Now it's like, yes it's normal - but it shouldn't be excessive I guess. I guess I feel like mine is excessive. It will probably be around 20kg by the end I suspect. If not more.

I was much bigger than you when I fell pregnant and I had a big giant baby. That didn't make me upset though, he's a big healthy boy. He was holding his head up in the hospital.
Also I'll point out he wasn't fat just big, he's perfectly in proportion, he was born on the 99th percentile. I'm really proud of my big fat body for being able to bring this little monster into the world, he's healthy and he's safe.
Also while I was trying to establish breastfeeding he lost quite a chunk of weight, because he'd been big to start with he coped with the loss. Big babies aren't a bad thing. So long as your little one is healthy it doesn't matter how big they are when they put in an appearance.