@Terrified34 I want you to know your’re absolutely not alone in this slightly bewildering array of feelings. My experience was really similar. My DP and I are a similar age to you, with very similar emotions about becoming parents “now or never” and a biological clock that wouldn’t be ignored even though we had great fun lives with lots of spoiling travel etc. Like you we spoke for over a year, gave it a go and got pregnant on the first go.
I found out I was pregnant when I was still living abroad and although we both really wanted a baby my immediate reaction when I found out was total terror, ‘I’ll be a shit mum’, “i am too fat for this’, ‘this will ruin everything,’ ‘the baby deserves better parents,’ ‘i’m So irresponsible,’ ‘I’ll get in trouble,’ and like you ‘we should abort’.
I even made an appointment but I couldn’t go through with it because of an extremely complex guilt, which sounds similar to what you describe. I also thought about ordering abortion pills from women on web. this was such a helpful resource because (a) totally non judgmental and you can be in control of your own decision (b) very good factual information I couldn’t get at the clinic (c) they have lots of real abortion stories from women, good and bad. This was especially helpful as other women’s stories helped me see that my situation wasn’t that bad, and that I probably could get through these worrries and be happy on the other side, and that the abortion under my circumstances wasn’t answering the right questions. It helped me understand my guilt a bit better (and in my case deep down inside I did want the baby, was terrified if I aborted I’d never have another chance, but was also so scared of having lost control, even though it was planned)
I’m now 22 weeks and it’s not been easy, although it’s been getting a LOT better since the 20 week scan.
I think for me a lot of the terror is a mix of hormones, learned thought patterns (I tend to be anxious about lots of rubbish) and actually a totally normal reaction to even a planned pregnancy- this really is going to change your life. all the other things you thought would change your life (moving abroad, getting together with DP, new career etc) probably don’t really change it in the same way. If you’ve finally got your shit together and your show on the road then I think it’s completely normal to be terrified of that being de-railed.
What’s helped me get through the last 22 weeks has been being completely open with DP about how I feel even if it’s really horrible things I’m embarrassed to say.ive been vulnerable about things I need to hear from him (I’ve needed to hear “you are beautiful” “we both want the baby” “I love you” “I am proud of you” “you will be brilliant and we are this togethe” etc etc etc because these are the positive things I wouldn’t allow myself to think but they seem to come so naturally to him- I’ve actually told him what I need to hear).
I was putting myself under lots of pressure to feel a certain way,but I have now realised that the only way I need to feel is alive and then job is done. Your body does most of pregnancy without you needing to think too much about it it seems so far. I was fighting it and trying to be in control. Now I’m not.
Also finding supportive people, friends, colleagues, people I barely know, has really helped me. Although I moved back to the Uk when I was about 12 weeks, my friends both here and abroad have been amazing on WhatsApp. Women I know who have recently had babies have been really patient listening to my anxieties and negative thoughts and reassuring me that the feelings are normal and the baby is worth it and I do deserve it. Watching people with their young babies be so excited that I’ll know the love and happiness (and exhaustion) that they know has made me feel better about making the right decision for me.
I’m finally feeling less depressed and anxious, and I’m finally more excited - the point you make about the scan is a valid one (again, I think not knowing anything about the baby was part of this - now I know it’s ok and it’s a little boy so I can start calming down and begin picturing a future). You might like to think about getting an early scan anyway if you can where you live. I had one at 8 weeks to check that the embryo wasn’t growing in my Fallopian tubes etc. Not much to see but you can see the heart beat and the doctor will listen to any anxieties you might have had about “doing it wrong” so far or whatever.
The other thing I want to say is that, while I don’t know where you live or who Long you have been there, I’ve lived in a few countries outside of the UK and have had friends who are pregnant/have young babies in each one. They have all had positive experiences of meeting new people and getting new support networks through this. Nothing brings you togetehr cross cultures like being pregnant because although everyone is different, everyone is also the same. If you have access to things like pregnancy yoga or even a Facebook page where you live see if you can strike up any conversations with people.
You’re not alone and I hope you and your DP feel better soon, but know that it’s not shameful to feel any particular way at all. Sending 
to you, wherever you are
Xxx