Home birth for first child?

[tacosplease]

I’ve been reading this thread and it’s completely freaked me out:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3750574-to-still-be-pissed-off-how-i-and-so-many-other-women-are-treated-before-after-birth

Giving birth in hospital sounds utterly horrendous!

I’m now wondering whether a home birth is the way to go - surrounded by the comfort of your own things, with a lovely private bedroom and bathroom. It sounds so much more relaxing.

On the other hand I worry what will happen if there are complications or things go wrong.

I’m mid-30s and it’ll be my first child. What do you think?

Terrible idea. Hospitals are awful and having a baby in hospital is awful but 3/4s of my nct group required EMS for first babies for a range of issues that couldn't have been picked up before. I just wouldn't risk it for the minimal chance it could be lovely. My DD nearly died during childbirth not helped by midwife incompetence and the only thing that saved her was being within yards of their special care unit. If you have a fantastic first labour and all goes well then that makes the decision different next time. Even the lady I know who had a fantastic easy first labour in a midwife led unit said that she would choose hospital next time for better access to pain relief.

I’ve had 3 wonderful home births but I suggest you do your research elsewhere. Mumsnet, pp proves my point, is very scaremongering and aggressive towards those considering a home birth.

I think you need to discuss this with your midwife and birth options team.
Perhaps a HomeBirth group on Facebook.
Look into your options (hospital,birth centre and HomeBirth)
You will get all sort of scaremongering responses here from all sides as every birth is different.
Don’t rely on those.
These threads never go well.

My hospital offers labour ward, HomeBirth and birth centre

I spoke to them and made my decision.

If we're going on anecdotes then I have quite a lot of friends who gave birth at home for their first and we're fine. Even more for their second.

Basically, if you don't live too far (more than 30 mins I think) from a hospital then it's the same either way. It is relatively rare that an emergency cesarean is done immediately. There are different levels of emergency CS and only the highest level means you'll be immediately in an OR. I was told it's about 30 mins hence the reason for this time limit to get to hospital.

There are complex reasons why births in hospitals end in CS some purely biological and some resulting from the fact you're in a hospital.

I'd suggest reading either of Milli Hill's birth books. This is something that you should make an informed choice about, not react to scare stories.

I gave birth in a hospital for my first and had an amazing experience. I gave birth at home for my second and it was good too but being in my own bed afterwards, without the hustle and bustle of hospitals was brilliant.

If you give birth at home and then decide you want to go to hospital you can also change your mind during labour.

The only thing I'd highly recommend is investigating the hospital option yourself, even if you opt for a home birth, because if you want or need to be transferred, then it will be a little less stressful. The problem is if you become 100% heart and soul invested in home birth and link it with how good a person/woman/mother you are and then it doesn't go as planned. I've seen that be very difficult to deal with emotionally.

And you can labour at home as long as you want really too, you don't have to go in early. You can also discharge yourself early if you really want too. So there are many different ways of doing it.

There's this acronym that can be used all throughout pregnancy as well as during labour and birth. May help you in assessing your options. Worth keeping in mind that both in hospital and at home there are many options. Two midwives will not respond to the same situation in the same way same with obs. There are different ways of them arriving at the same result (at its basic, healthy mother and baby). Unless you're in the type of emergency where you're about to die, then there's always time to ask questions. Ask away and make your own mind up.

Benefits - what are the benefits of doing this/this course of action?*
Risks - what are the risks of doing this/this course of action?
Alternatives - are there any alternatives?
Intuition - what do I want to do? (Don't be afraid to say you need time to think - most of the time you will always be able to have that time).
Nothing - what happens if we do nothing for now/next 5/10 minutes (or longer)?
S*mile - a reminder that the HCP is (usually) trying to help you, not be an adversary.

See if your area has a homebirth meet. Mine does and this helped me make my decision with support from my midwife.

The problem is if you become 100% heart and soul invested in home birth and link it with how good a person/woman/mother you are and then it doesn't go as planned. I've seen that be very difficult to deal with emotionally.

Thanks for the helpful info. To be honest linking it with how good a person/mother I am never even crossed my mind! It’s more that I’m terrified of hospitals and would love to be in the comfort of my own home.

Bear in mind that thread is specifically for people who have had bad experiences. I had an amazing hospital experience but wouldn’t share it there because it’s not the right space. By all means consider your options and what’s right for you but base it on evidence and on your personal situations and feelings, not anecdata from a single thread. Good luck with your birth

I’ve just been reading that thread too OP...I wish I hadn’t!

Currently 32 weeks and live 20/30 min from hospital. If it was over the road I might consider home birth but it’s too far.

I’ve been reminding myself that these threads only bring out those who have had a bad time, which I’d like to think are a minority....a teeny tiny minority?!!!

Giving birth in hospital is not horrendous, it’s a hospital stay. Other people’s choices, food, noise. Surely all tolerable for a couple of days so help is on hand if needed.
I had a problem free pregnancy, spent 40 hours labouring in a hospital room with a midwife beside me, when they lost the foetal heartbeat.
1 min 45 seconds later and with the help of a surgeon & crash team of 5, ds was born pink and wailing.
You can’t do that at home. Without them ds wouldn’t be here.
Having second & third babies at home, if you have a straightforward first birth might make sense, but not with the first one.

I've had 3 straight forward home births. Lots of good advice above.

Look at the hospital you would be transferred to. Visit the midwife led birth center and talk to your midwife about a home birth option. Then make a decision knowing the risks.

I personally planned to be at home as my local hospital had no midwife led birth center. The local midwife led birth center was further from the hospital than my home.

My midwife was supportive of me labouring at home as long as I liked. We took this approach. It was pretty relaxed. Labor was quick and uncomplicated.

If it had been a long labor or developing complications, I would have been happy to transfer to hospital less than 10 minutes away.

Keep your mind open to anything. A good birth is one where mum and baby are safe and healthy.

I think the best place to be is an alongside MLU in a hospital setting. Not as clinical as labour ward, and with good access to all the necessary options if you need them. There are all sorts of things you can request, such as going home after 6 hours, if you want them. But birth is unpredictable and being blue lighted would be really stressful. If o had a 3rd child I might consider a home birth, but I’m about 10 minutes from a large tertiary hospital and much closer than our MLU. Otherwise I’d probably go with the hospital based MLU as they were fantastic last time. My first delivery was horrific though, a failed induction and a baby in distress. He would not be here without the neonatal team. Sometimes you don’t get warning of things going wrong!

It depends what you want. It seems birth has been idealised to an extent where the “experience” is almost as or more important than mum and baby being safe. The candles, the music, the experience of it all , the #memorymaking. For me - giving birth is a momentous but practical in many ways event. I like the idea of a suppprtive team of midwives in a birthcebtre and not having to transfer last minute and knowing it’s all done in a day or two and then home. Entire lifetime left for #makingmemories. On other hand if you have hospital phobia or other similar then choose home

There's a good group on fbook called 'chilled mama' for facts and advice on home birth.

If something goes wrong during your home birth are you prepared to live with the consequences? If yes, then crack on. If no, If you might spend the rest of your life thinking ‘if I’d been in hospital maybe this wouldn’t have happened’, then don’t.

I had a homebirth for my first, in my mid 30s and had a great experience. I was very ready to transfer if needed and lives near a hospital.

I would have died if I'd had a home birth, my hospital saved my life so i am totally against home births and totally for hospital!

It's a risk you take but I know I wouldn't ever recommend or do it

The maternal mortality statistics are pretty even for hospitals and home though so for every person that would have died if not in hospital there must be someone who would have lived if they hadn’t been.

I was very ready to transfer if needed and lives near a hospital.

I find comments like this really frustrating I this discussion. In a true obstetric emergency ‘really near’ a hospital, even if that is over the road, isn’t close enough. A crash section can take as little as 15 seconds (from emergency bell going off to baby being out). 999 wont even have got past their second question by then.

The best bit of advice that my consultant gave me when I was pregnant is not to read anything about other people's birth experiences because 1) people often exaggerate and remember the worst bits and 2) other people's experiences have no impact on my own. Like you, I was worried about some of the horror stories I'd heard but it was totally fine in reality. I was in overnight and very single member of staff was so kind and so helpful. I got drugs when I needed them, I got BF support when I needed it and I never felt alone at all. In reality, everyone I know in real life (and not on the internet!) has had an absolutely fine time in hospital. I should also add that every single first time mother that I know has had a complicated birth requiring induction/intervention/c section etc.

I personally didn't want a home birth and was too high risk for it to be a sensible choice (though then the midwives didn't believe I was in active labour until I was pushing, so I effectively did labour unassisted and unmonitored, despite being high risk) but I find these threads a bit frustrating from a critical thinking point of view. No one ever seems to consider the downsides of giving birth in a hospital, and that actually the emergency they insist would have killed them at home might not even have happened at home. Postpartum hemorrhage is a good example - people often give this as an example of how they would definitely have died if they gave birth at home (even though women do have PPH at home and survive), but they're actually less likely to happen in home births so no one knows whether, rather than dying of a PPH at home, they would actually avoided one if they'd had a home birth.

I had a home birth for my first. I had quite a few reasons but mainly:

• not wanting to be in the hospital environment
• not wanting to have to travel whilst in early labour
• 2 dedicated midwives just for me
• home comforts of food, tv, toilet, own bed
• much lower rate of intervention
• no chance of husband being sent home

You will always get the "I / my friend / next door neighbour's DIL would have died if at home" but this is only usually true in a tiny tiny amount of cases. What they mean is they had some kind of 'emergency' intervention but as someone above said, it's very unlikely they were in theatre before 30 mins or that there wasn't any lead up. (I'm not saying it can't happen obviously)

If at any point through my pregnancy or any time during labour there had been any suggestion of being better off in hospital, I'd have been there like a shot!

I didn't tell anyone of my planned homebirth other than my mum, and wouldn't have told her if I felt she wouldn't be supportive. I just didn't want people's opinions who hadn't done any research into it.

The thing is, there are plenty of stories about mothers and babies who have died because they were in hospital if you really go looking for them - contracting infections, malpractice, etc. I'm sure there must be a number involved in traffic accidents on the drive home if you think about the probabilities. In my area there is an on going case of a nurse being investigated for the murder of babies in the local maternity hospital.

I did A LOT of research. My area had a fantastic set up for community midwives and homebirths. I had absolutely no complications in pregnancy. I live 10 minutes from the hospital.

I was certain that me and my baby were just as safe at home as in hospital. If you Google the stats there is a very slight increased risk for homebirths for first time births. However this is overall in the UK. I did lots of research into my circumstances, my local area. For example, a quick Google of stats for first time homebirths to be transferred to hospital is 50%. From my antenatal class (all first time, all planning homebirths) 1 ended up with a planned hospital birth due to growth and movement concerns, 1 transferred straight after birth for minor issue/ precaution and 8 had uncomplicated homebirths. My midwife said her rate of transfer to hospital was about 10% and that was usually for more complex stitching after birth.

My advice would be

• do your research (Not just quick Google search)
• find out what is available in your area
• stay opened minded about all outcomes

MN seem to have a weird hatred towards homebirth and those who choose it
I’ve had one horrendous hospital birth (the birth itself was fine, the way I was treated by staff was not fine!), and two wonderful home births.
In hindsight I should have had all 3 of them at home, but I wasn’t aware that it was even an option when I had my first!!
If you’re low risk, live a reasonable distance from the hospital should an emergency arise and you do your research, the I’d say go for it if it’s something you want.
There’s nothing worse than going into such a massive event as childbirth and being scared/uncomfortable in the birthing environment. The clinical, cold, sterile hospital room and loads of people I didn’t know all made me very uncomfortable. Whereas for DCs 2&3, I was attended by midwives I already knew from my community clinic appointments, so it was the same as having a stranger rummaging around the business end!!

I haven't read the original thread.

I had all three at home. Chose independent midwives as midwife attached to my GP practice was very anti home births and also my husband wanted to know who would be turning up at our house! Am very grateful to him for recognising that as being important as it meant my midwife knew us very well, especially by number 3!

I didn't feel I could talk much about my first birth at the time because my experience was so completely different from everyone around me we could have been taking about totally different things. I gave birth in water, in my dining room. Yes, it was hard work and painful at times but we also laughed and had a sense of the power and awe of the process. I do remember commenting that it wasn't the worst pain I'd experienced and I could imagine doing it again. And obviously I did!

Have to say, the after care was at least as important from what I heard from from other women. In my experience, women who'd given birth in hospital were often quite traumatised by the lack of support etc afterwards - they got conflicting advice on just about everything, breasts were manhandled 'helping' with breastfeeding and they often felt abandoned by professionals who they saw as 'experts'.

When my midwives left us all tucked up in bed together, it was a little scary but I knew they wouldn't have left unless they were happy we could cope. Plus they were pageable and back the next day.

My youngest is now 15 and I'm still grateful for the start they gave us.

Some interesting posts while I was writing. I attended a home birth group which was great and really supportive of all choices. I'll never forget a midwife there telling me that she did things in hospital births that she wouldn't do at home because of the backup in hospital. I remember being genuinely quite shocked that she was doing things that she knew carried a risk of further intervention being necessary that were really only to speed things up a little.

A friend of mine 'would have died' if she'd given birth at home. But, once she'd processed the birth, realised that the hospital protocol required her to lie on her back for half an hour being monitored. She'd been unable to do that for at least half her pregnancy because it felt so uncomfortable. After half an hour her baby was in such distress it led to a crash section. She did lots of research and babies 2&3 were born at home. Now that's brave, and I mean that in the truest sense of the word. I'm still so impressed by her capacity to look beyond her first thoughts and go against societal norms. She did a huge amount of research and used an independent midwife who specialised in VBAC.