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Original poster

Not planning on breastfeeding - how will this go down at NCT Class?

45 replies

Cherry85 · 25/10/2019 20:43

Hi everyone,

I am starting my nct classes in a couple of weeks but feeling really apprehensive about it.

I am planning on expressing but not breastfeeding. I have had eating disorders over the years and I am really body conscious and the thought of it gives me such anxiety it makes me want to cry.

Had a chat with my midwife and she agrees that I have to put mental health first as well as do what's right for baba. She has advised if only expressing I may not be able to maintain a supply but agrees that supplemented by powdered is the best option.

My mum has been a nightmare and has gone around bitching to her mates about how ridiculous it is that I am not planning on breastfeeding....who have in turn confronted me about it(wtf).... she is not the most supportive and very domineering.

Anyway, I am happy with my decision, but feeling very attacked about it and dont want it to happen in a room of strangers. What should I do?

If it comes up do I explain the situation to the whole group? Do I speak to the teacher privately? I am scared they will ram the breast is best stuff down my throat (not disputing it is!) And just feeling quite vulnerable.

Has anyone done the breastfeeding session? If I am not planning on doing it do I need to go?

Any advice would be appreciated - but please no lectures on my choices!

OP posts:

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EssentialHummus · 25/10/2019 20:46

They may well ram it down your throat, some do. And if not them, someone else. Just “After discussion with my mw I won’t be breastfeeding.” And then move the conversation on. You don’t owe them an explanation and if they judge or exclude you for this, fuck them.

IHateWashingUp2 · 25/10/2019 20:47

NCT are very clear that they support all feeding choices and I’m sure the teacher will be very supportive of your position.

crustycrab · 25/10/2019 20:49

Honestly, I'd miss that session if you're so anxious. You feed your baby however you choose, it's got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else

RopeBrick · 25/10/2019 20:50

Not well. NCT be crazy.

NamechangeWhatFor · 25/10/2019 20:50

My NCT trainer was fine with those who didn't want to breastfeed, and very nice. The other women were not judgemental but we were a small group.

GummyGoddess · 25/10/2019 20:51

We had a separate breastfeeding session so maybe you won't need to go. I went and said I didn't want to breastfeed and was just going to do it for 6 weeks and had already bought a perfect prep machine. I did get a look from the woman but it didn't bother me. I'm glad I did go as I ended up breastfeeding and didn't hate it like I thought I would.

Robs20 · 25/10/2019 20:52

I would miss the bf session. It was 100% rammed down our throats at our session and the only good thing that happened was that our group bonded over mutual hatred of the teacher.
My first daughter was tube fed her entire life (mix of expressed milk and formula). Honestly, please remember fed is best and your baby needs a healthy mum.

Bobbiepin · 25/10/2019 20:53

Our main NCT teacher was fine, we had a separate bf teacher who said she was gonna cover bottle feeding but didn't. The people you are with probably won't be fussed.

beargrass · 25/10/2019 20:54

If it's a separate session, just don't go. It's hard to say exactly what it'll be like as they don't seem uniform but if it's a session on its own then chances are, that's all it'll be.

Swerve it!

CAG12 · 25/10/2019 20:55

🙄 NCT attracts the worst type of people

Surfskatefamily · 25/10/2019 20:56

The nct i went to was very equal in its treatment and information about feeding choices.
As in no one who said they planned to bottle feed were challenged on reasoning and the lady who ran out class was great she spent time explaining how to start bottle feeding and showing the correct positions to feed badly in etc.

Try not to worry too much, if you want to you can miss the breastfeeding class, theres no good worrying yourself over it as it's a decision you're making for the good of you and your baby

CAG12 · 25/10/2019 20:56

Thats not you btw - I didnt mean that aimed at you. Youre decision not to breastfeed sounds well considered.

I have bad experiences with NCT women and the 'competitive healthiness'

Original poster

Cherry85 · 25/10/2019 20:58

Thanks guys! Feeling a bit more confident after that! Will let you know how it goes lol!

OP posts:

thetoddleratemyhomework · 25/10/2019 20:59

Depends on how you feel emotionally really. Obviously the breastfeeding session will be trying to encourage people to manage breastfeeding difficulties well, so there will be a positive angle put on breastfeeding (and obviously there are many positives to it) - if you are very sensitive to having the benefits of breastfeeding (for others- you have made a valid choice and your mental health is important) put to you, you may want to miss it. My NCT class was very supportive BUT also down on the idea that you could keep a supply going through expressing in the breastfeeding session. But that was in the context of a group who were all planning to give it a go so the session was aimed at making breastfeeding as successful as possible - I am sure if one of us had a quiet word and explained what we were planning, they would have tailored accordingly. The session may cover some things that might be helpful to you in expressing - for example, blocked ducts/mastitis, when milk comes in etc. But all things you could get elsewhere if you needed to.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 25/10/2019 21:00

I would say that you've some medical issues so midwife advised against it.

Eurovision · 25/10/2019 21:00

The thing about nct is that is all hypothetical. I was frowned at for saying I wanted an epidural. Everyone was planning to breastfeed and have natural births. In reality there was a c section and several inductions. A few births in the birthing centre but one was transferred and had an epidural for the stitches. Only 2 of the 8 managed to breastfeed. My point is that all that is said and planned at the classes soon goes out the window when the reality sets. If your happy to share your plan not to breastfeed then do or if not be vague and be poorly for the breastfeeding session. When you meet up after baby is born there will be people with expressed milk and formula and breastfeeding. Then you will turn around and the babies will be 7 and you won't be able to tell who was and wasn't breastfed.

whatswithtodaytoday · 25/10/2019 21:03

If you're planning on expressing the baby will be getting breast milk anyway, so you'll probably be fine. Our breastfeeding session was run separately by a different trainer, and she didn't cover bottle feeding at all - which was a bugger when breastfeeding didn't work out and we ended up bottle feeding from three weeks.

If you feel up to it you could go and ask them to cover bottles too, but it will really depend who you get and most of the info will be about breasts.

I was the only one having an elective c section in my group and the main trainer was absolutely fine with it, always made sure to include c sections in everything and checked whether I had any questions about it.

Izzadoraduncancan · 25/10/2019 21:03

I'm sorry I have no NCT experience. But I have fed 6 children. Some breast and some not for various reasons.
I would say own your choice. Don't explain, don't make excuses. Just say, this works best for me.
Try not to engage in discussion - as your babies mum it is your decision.
Whilst we know breast milk is what's best for baby when compared to formula - it's not a decision made in isolation, other factors come into play and your mental health is also very important for you, your partner and your baby.

icclemunchy · 25/10/2019 21:04

When we did ours the bf session was seperate so you could just give it a miss.

Just to add there's no reason not to be able to maintain a full supply whilst exclusively expressing if you want to. It might seem harder work to start with (Coz you have to pump and then feed baby and then wash up!) but there's quite a few exclusively expressing groups on Facebook who are supportive and full of hits tips and information

mintich · 25/10/2019 21:04

Itll be fine. Only 1 person in my NCT group breastfed

ml3jp · 25/10/2019 21:06

I exclusively expressed too! There’s an excellent Facebook group for people exclusively expressing with great tips. It’s possible to keep up with supply. You just have to keep on a very regular pumping schedule as if you were latching they baby - middle of the night pumps etc! Also breastfeeding includes exclusively expressing but no point getting into it if people are judgey. Do whatever works for you x

Stephminx · 25/10/2019 21:06

In general our NCT session content was dictated by the group - we said what we wanted to know and they went from there.

There was a separate BF session that covered feeding - I’d say 95% BF and 5% FF. Just don’t go to that session.

You’ll prob get questioned on it if you’re not there by the others in the group. They’ll keep their opinions on your choice to themselves in all likelihood as they’ll be keen to make friends.

Out of 6 in my group, 4 tried to BF and 2 didn’t bother. Out if the 4 BF, 2 gave up within a few weeks. Only 2 BF for the full 6 months.

Interestingly though I did the NCT classes for straight after the birth. Out of 6, only 2 were BF.

BF tend to talk about it a lot as it’s quite hard and time consuming with cluster feeding etc... that doesn’t mean they’re judging though - I think most people are just concerned with themselves and their own baby’s after they’ve given birth. But it’s a new group of people who only have babies in common so prepare for lots of chat around birth and feeding / weaning.

Sunshine1239 · 25/10/2019 21:07

Just say you don’t want to breastfeeding feed end of. It’s your choice and no ones else’s business. By explaining it sound like you are justifying yourself which you absolutely don’t need to do

IMO the whole earthy-breastfeeding group are the worst people ever personality wise 😱. There are plenty of normal bread feeders out there who don’t feel obliged to shout it across the room

Sunshine1239 · 25/10/2019 21:07

Breast

SonEtLumiere · 25/10/2019 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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