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Pregnancy

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Original poster

1st Midwife appointment, do they mention any pevious STDs

49 replies

jadelouiselaird · 04/10/2019 22:01

Hi i have my first midwife appointment next week and my partner is coming along

About 8 years ago i had an STD(herpes), will the midwife bring it up without you mentioning it

My partner doesnt know and i dont want the midwife bringing it up in front of him

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TokyoSushi · 04/10/2019 22:04

I don't think she will, but I also think it's probably better that she knows. Does your partner have to go to the appointment? It's just a huge form filling session really.

RLI1105 · 04/10/2019 22:11

When I had my booking in appointment they did ask. They actually went through a list verbally. It probably depends on the area!

Podemos · 04/10/2019 22:12

I can't remember the question bring asked (But it may have been)

But can't herpes be transmitted to your partner even if you ate showing no symptoms? Shouldn't he know anyway?

TreaterAnita · 04/10/2019 22:15

I don’t think the midwife will know. They don’t not usually have access to your records, so they ask you for your history. They normally find an excuse to get your partner out of the room (to ask whether there is any domestic violence) so you could tell the midwife then.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 04/10/2019 22:15

I was asked at my booking in appointment earlier this year.

TokenGinger · 04/10/2019 22:15

Yes they ask about STDs.

However, that aside, I'm absolutely horrified that you have herpes and you haven't told your sexual partner. When you have herpes, you have it for life. You could have infected him with herpes.

The medical professionals also need to know about herpes because if there's an outbreak near birth, passing on the herpes virus to a baby can be fatal. If you have an outbreak, they can give you medication to clear it up before birth or they may do a c-section.

Raphael34 · 04/10/2019 22:27

Any other std and they’d not mention it as it’s not relevant. I caught chlamydia through a partner cheating with a diseased cunt down the road (can you tell I’m still bitter), and it was as never mentioned during my pregnancy. Herpes will be mentioned as it affects your partner and your baby. If you haven’t told your partner then you’re an absolute piece of shite because it’s likely you’ve infected him with this horrible disease for life

RedWineAllMine · 04/10/2019 23:35

Yes they ask about STD's. You need to be honest as you can have an outbreak which could be fatal for baby. It's dormant at the moment, but can re occur at any time. Judging by hormones etc being all over the place you could have an outbreak.

Ohyesiam · 04/10/2019 23:37

I was asked

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 23:39

Isn't there a difference of medical opinion over whether heroes is a lifelong infection which will flare up (as it was thought a while ago I think) or not? I know people who have been told they don't need to tell future partners.

So I think calling the OP an absolute piece of shite might be a bit harsh.

JJSS123 · 04/10/2019 23:41

Herpes isn’t a one off it’s for life.... educate yourself.

TheVanguardSix · 04/10/2019 23:41

Herpes is one you must discuss because you can actually pass it on the baby during delivery, OP.
DH has herpes. I don't. And to be honest, in all of the years we've been together, he's never had a flare-up. In fact, I think it can eventually leave your system (don't quote me on this). Still, I made sure the MWs knew about DH's herpes in case I was unaware of contracting it myself. For the sake of the babies I was delivering, I felt it was important to disclose this.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 23:44

I don't know anything about tho organisation but if their stats are right then mathematically a huge number of MNers must have the virus without knowing

herpes.org.uk/frequently-asked-questions/passing-transmitting-herpes/

LittleAndOften · 04/10/2019 23:44

Yes you need to disclose this when the mw takes you through the medical history questionnaire. You need to be honest with your partner too. I think pretty low to have had unprotected sex with someone and not told them!

TheVanguardSix · 04/10/2019 23:45

In fact, I think it can eventually leave your system (don't quote me on this)

Actually, pretend I never said that. I'd like to think that it has left DH alone because he never flares, but it really is a lifelong virus. So just be aware that during pregnancy and delivery, you'll want to be kept an eye on.
My friend has herpes and has delivered two healthy little girls without any problems, so don't fret. Just be open with the MWs and let them guide you.

TheVanguardSix · 04/10/2019 23:46

Oh wow. Why haven't you told your partner?
Goodness, DH told me on our second date!

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 23:50

NCT has a page too you might find useful

www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/worries-and-discomforts/symptoms-watch-out-for/genital-herpes-and-pregnancy-your-questions-answered

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 04/10/2019 23:51

How deceptive and awful for you to have had unprotected sex with your partner and not told him.

Everafter1 · 04/10/2019 23:56

They do ask (should ask) at the booking appointment.
It's always best to be honest as it could pass to the baby in the birth canal causing neonatal herpes. Sometimes these things can flare up during pregnancy with the immune system being lower. Although it was a long time ago & no doubt will be fine, it's best they're aware so they can advise you.

At your booking app you should be brought in without your partner to discuss things like STDs & abuse.

Walnutwhipster · 04/10/2019 23:56

Yes they asked if I remember correctly (it's a long time ago) they need to know because under certain conditions it can be passed onto the baby when you give birth. You really should tell your partner too because he's at risk.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 05/10/2019 00:00

Agree with above. You can’t get rid of it but it can be dormant.

If our area for this section they ask you to read it and tick all that apply, I remember thrush was also on this section.

Rose87777 · 05/10/2019 00:03

They should ask you about this. normally if you attend your booking appointment with a partner they will find a way to get you away for a few minutes to ask about sensitive topics such as any previous abortion. I think it would be best if you told him.

Babyg1995 · 05/10/2019 00:11

I wasn't asked so I would bring it up with midwife and tell your partner asap can't believe you haven't told him if I found out my partner hadn't told me that I would be devastated .you never get rid of it it can stay dormant for years and years and your partner may have it as well now.

getyourgrooveback · 05/10/2019 00:16

About 8 years ago i had an STD(herpes)

No no you HAVE herpes ffs.

It can be v dangerous/fatal for baby so of course you have to tell midwife. And partner!!

TheNumberOneSourceOfEverything · 05/10/2019 01:50

Didn't you and your partner not discuss std's before ever having unprotected sex?

This is the type of thing you need to tell someone before sleeping with them and if I was your partner and found out you knew you had herpes and didn't give me the chance to make an informed choice about unprotected sex with you, or denied me chance to have std tests if it was a bust condom.

You need to tell your midwife even if you've never had another flare up and you need to tell your partner so he can get tested and make informed choices about future unprotected sex with you.

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