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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Midwife appointment at my house and never met her

37 replies

Dominos21 · 30/09/2019 12:39

So I had my first midwife appointment a few days ago, but she isn’t my assigned midwife. As the women I would’ve been seeing had her day off. I’ve then got an email confirming my midwife will be coming to my house to complete paperwork in 2 weeks. I find it a bit strange letting someone I don’t know and never met into my home. I thought I would’ve met her already ? Has anyone else had this problem ?

OP posts:

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Fluffsmum · 30/09/2019 12:52

I'm not sure I met the same midwife twice either pregnancy to be honest. You also get home visits post birth from a number of midwives and healthcare professionals you also won't have met.

So basically, either get used to it or refuse all home visits (which you are entitled to do, you can request clinic only care).

chuttypicks · 30/09/2019 13:40

Why are you worried about not having met her before? What's the issue with her coming to your house? If you suffer anxiety about strangers in your house then maybe arrange to have the appointment where the midwife is based. Be aware though that once the baby is born there will be a whole host of professionals who will be wanting to visit you and the baby at home.

Wilmalovescake · 30/09/2019 13:43

I’m not meaning to be crude here but shortly you’ll have people you’ve never met before shoving their hands up your vagina. This might be a good first bridge to cross.

ChildminderMum · 30/09/2019 13:47

I saw a different midwife and HV at every appointment.

If you don't want a home visit you can request a clinic one instead though.

26seym · 30/09/2019 13:52

Seems a strange thing to worry about.

betternamepending · 30/09/2019 13:52

Oh wow, I think I saw at least ten different people checking my vag when giving birth, sorry but once you're pregnant all dignity and privacy goes out the window. You can pick it up again afterwards though.

You can't be sure to just see one midwife the whole time, they work in shifts. Sorry but better get used to it. It's not fun, sorry.

Casander · 30/09/2019 13:53

As a pp said, without being crude honestly soon enough everybody certainly feels like everybody will be looking up your vagina, this really is a minor thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.

OccasionalNachos · 30/09/2019 13:55

I’m not meaning to be crude here but shortly you’ll have people you’ve never met before shoving their hands up your vagina.

😂

gamerchick · 30/09/2019 13:56

What are your worried about though? There will be lots of strange people floating through your life before you're done. Midwives and health visitors galore.

Meshy23 · 30/09/2019 13:56

all of the midwives I saw were different too - pre natally, during the birth and post natally. I think that’s just the way it is. What’s the issue?

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 30/09/2019 14:01

Message or phone her and tell her how you feel.

I hate strangers coming to my house because I was attacked at home as a student. I either need dh to be present or I need to meet them before in a neutral setting. I need to feel safe at home and limiting who gets access is one way of ensuring I can. I've found most have been accepting of that.

burritofan · 30/09/2019 14:01

I’m not meaning to be crude here but shortly you’ll have people you’ve never met before shoving their hands up your vagina.

Haha! Pregnancy and childbirth are basically exercises in becoming a human glove puppet.

OhTheRoses · 30/09/2019 14:02

I think the op has a point. I also think the system where one sees stranger after stranger in hospital and at home is not woman centric, isn't entirely necessary and could be greatly improved.

When DS was born I counted up and had had contact with 37 diffrent HCPs - 9 of them at home and after the birth including hv, locum gp and students. It was not helpful.

With dd the number was limited to about 9 partly due to the fact that the chaos, conflicting advice and casualness around ds's birth and post natal care tipped me into pnd.

With dd I had consultant led care, two excellent midwives in labour and made it clear when I git home that I woukd have no more than two community midwives trailing through my house. And no HV turning up without the courtesy of a mutually agreed appointment.

Put your foot down op and be clear about your expectations which are reasonable. It's your body and your home. You can make sure both are respected. Men would.

VenusTiger · 30/09/2019 14:10

Have you never had work done in your home you’re an adult aren’t you? What about when the health visitor arrives and you don’t know her?

I had about 4 different midwifes throughout my pregnancy. The day I went into labour, the supposedly assigned mw’s mobile was switched off!

I then gave birth in front of 3 total stranger mws, 2 total stranger surgeons and a stranger paediatrician - what’s the problem here?

AmIThough · 30/09/2019 14:18

I saw 'my' midwife twice throughout my whole pregnancy and didn't see her PP.

I had an attempted membrane sweep with another midwife.

Two different midwives checked how dilated I was during labour.
Another two watched helped me give birth.

Then 3 different midwives visited me at home, helped with breastfeeding etc, and health visitor has visited me at home twice.

Pregnancy is not the time to be worried about letting strangers into your home!

OhTheRoses · 30/09/2019 14:20

Such gratifying kindness and reassurance on here. I hope the op is ok.

StarryEyed88 · 30/09/2019 14:23

Perhaps you could ask to talk on the phone in advance and explain your worry due to your previous bad experience. You could maybe change the appointment to a clinic or can your DH or a friend/family member be there with you so that you feel more at ease?

Cannyhandleit · 30/09/2019 14:23

Beat get used to it, I had a different midwife for every post natal cost in my house and then I had health visitor and hv student! They obviously have to have dbs checks for their job!

SoyDora · 30/09/2019 14:23

I’ve had three babies and seen maybe 12 different midwives throughout. With my first two, the midwife who visited my house after the birth was someone I’d never met before. With my third it was a midwife I had met previously. I then had health visitors I’d never met visit when discharged from midwife care.
It’s not an ideal system but it’s not something that’s ever bothered me. I think I’d be more concerned if I had the same midwife throughout and I didn’t like her for some reason!

Original poster

Dominos21 · 30/09/2019 14:25

Thanks for your replies . I’ve just herd some people have the same midwife throughout and that’s what I was expecting as it’s my first baby. So I’m all new to this. Have no womanly figure in my life to ask these questions on what is normal or not . Thanks anyway

OP posts:

IScreamForIceCreams · 30/09/2019 14:31

I saw a variety of midwives throughout pregnancy, I too was surprised that the one written in my notes wasn't the one delivering my baby (what was I thinking, as if she would move her schedule around for my baby to arrive!)! It's not something you'd know when you are a FTM, so not a strange question at all. Good luck!

Original poster

Dominos21 · 30/09/2019 14:33

Thank you I appreciate it

OP posts:

Meshy23 · 30/09/2019 14:33

I can understand your worry as it’s your first time. Hope you are reassured and I hope the pregnancy goes well

Bluntness100 · 30/09/2019 14:34

Op, honestly this is fine. Totally normal. You get used to this.

To put it into context I had six internals, on the hour, every hour, by six different Male doctors when I had my daughter.

These people are simply doing their job.

MrsJoshNavidi · 30/09/2019 14:37

shortly you’ll have people you’ve never met before shoving their hands up your vagina. This might be a good first bridge to cross

😀😀😀😀 but exactly right!

OP - unless you gave MH issues, how do you get through life never letting people you don't know into your home?

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