I’m 5 weeks pregnant. We have two children from previous relationships- 16 and 10. We did not plan this at all so it’s come as a huge shock to say the least.
We live in a 2 bed house, so when his daughter is here the girls share a bedroom. We’re squashed at the best of times and keep talking about needing to move, but the equity isn’t huge and we don’t have savings beyond emergencies. We both have decent jobs with ok salaries, so we’re reasonably comfortable as we are (if zero savings counts!)
If we keep this, it forces our hand - we’d have to move cos there’s no way we’d all fit! Selling the house shouldn’t be too difficult but we wouldn’t be able to buy anywhere else so we’d have to rent. Then we’d most likely end up using a fair chunk of equity to buy the more expensive baby things and to pay for childcare when I go back to work. I earn a little more than my husband at the moment and we can’t manage on his salary alone. My husband is also really worried about his job security- there used to be loads of overtime going but that’s rapidly drying up, so his opportunity to earn more isn’t really there at the moment. He thinks there could be lay-offs next year if things don’t improve.
So understandably he thinks I should go for an abortion. I understand his logic and fears, they’re not unreasonable at all. I feel them too.
But, I want to keep the baby. I hate the idea of an abortion (no judgement at all on anyone who has chosen to do that - I’m absolutely pro choice) because of the fact I want to keep it. I’m almost 39 - this is my last chance to have a baby so if we don’t go through with it there won’t be another time (husband wants to get the snip to avoid future accidents - reasonable!). The thought of going into the clinic pregnant and coming out not - it makes me feel sick and I just keep crying. Raging hormones probably not helping here!
I’m so torn. If I keep the baby I put our family in a very risky financial situation- we might never get back on the property ladder afterwards and if my husbands job goes the way he fears, things will get worse. But if I don’t I’ll have to live with it forever, I’d like to think I wouldn’t resent my husband for it but suspect I would at least in the short term.
I don’t know what to do. How do you choose which risk is worth taking?