To find out the sex or not

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I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. With my first baby I found out he was a little boy at my 20 week scan, with this pregnancy I'm considering keeping it a surprise! Just looking to find out from people that found out the sex and kept it a surprise to see what they preferred. I loved finding out with my son as it made me feel more connected to him but I would love to experience a surprise (if I can)
Also, people that did keep it a surprise did they find it hard to be organised as you won't really be able to buy bigger size clothes until you know the sex

Clothes wise, dd and ds wore the same stuff. Dungarees, trousers, leggings, rompers, shorts, baby gros etc in every colour going and that wasn't an issue at all unless you are particularly interested in highly gendered clothing. Surely you can reuse a lot of your DS's stuff regardless of the baby's sex?

I didn't really want to know with dc2 but had quite a few scans and it really was extremely obvious and given that birth 1 was traumatic and I don't remember anything (crash emcs), it was a relief to have learned the sex at a time when I was well. I had a lot of sadness and guilt at not being "present" at the birth and know that everybody knowing before me probably would have been another stick with which I could beat myself. You can't mitigate for that however.

I found out my first was a boy at 16 weeks, this time round I’ve chosen not to find out (currently 33 weeks) so I can’t say which I prefer yet but I think not finding out has made time go a little quicker. I’ve bought a lot of unisex things that are quite boyish but wouldn’t think twice about putting them on a girl. I didn’t keep anything of DS’ and I’m just dream to plain unisex things anyway so I think even if I knew the sex I’d be buying the same things. I’ve bought mainly new born / up to 1 months and some 0–3. It’s been great not being able to go overboard with clothes which is so easy to do! I’ll just buy what I need once the baby is here.

I was unsure about finding out for a while but then I thought once you know then you know and you can’t go back so decided not to. I’m enjoying all the guessing and I’m looking forward to the moment of finding out!

I didn't find out with my DS. I brought a bit of unisex clothing but put money aside through out my pregnancy to buy clothes once the baby arrived. Got a grey pram so that was neutral. I don't think I'd ever find out. I didn't struggle to bond with my baby. It was such a lovely moment when the midwives held him up to show me the sex. I don't think I'd ever find out in a healthy pregnancy. I like the surprise ☺️

Currently pregnant with my first child (29+4) and we are keeping it a surprise..

Obviously I have nothing to compare it to, but I'm hoping the surprise is worth it as two if my friends are pregnant and found out and I feel a little weird referring to my baby as "it" when they are talking about "he" / "she"!

I didn’t find out with either, having a surprise at the birth was lovely. Especially when DH announced we had a boy! I don’t understand this thing of ‘being prepared’, I was still very prepared. I was having a baby, not a kitten. There are plenty of lovely neutral clothes, especially from Next I seem to remember.

I read another (old) MN thread recently where someone said the day your child is born is the most momentous day of your life - no one looks back on it and says, “It was the most momentous day of my life but I wish I’d kept the baby’s sex a surprise.”

I don’t think I’ve worded it as well as they did, but hopefully you get the gist. It made sense to me!

I found out with daughter ( now 14) I didn’t find out with son (18 months)
I much preferred the surprise of finding out in theatre ( elective due to previous emergency c section) when husband revealed.
I’m 35 weeks today and haven’t found out this time either.
Have lots of neutral clothes from last year, once we know if girl or not we will either if girl go out buying loads or if boy won’t buy loads to be fair as had so much from little boy and so much wasn’t worn.

I know everyone is different but I found out the sex and I am so glad I did. Not just because it has let me get organised with clothes etc but I feel like it’s helped me bond with my baby more knowing who they are if that makes sense. I defo have no regrets about finding out and I think the moment you meet your baby is so special whether you know the sex or not x

It’s a very special surprise to find out what your baby is - whether you do it at 16 weeks, on the birth day, or any other day. It’s really a personal choice what day to go for. The only right one is the right one for your family.
I found out both times as I had horrendous hg and it helped to focus on the baby as a little human, not just something that was making me really ill.

We didn't find out but with hindsight we both wish we did.
We're not the type for cutesy nicknames and referring to the baby as 'it' made me feel like I would've bonded better knowing the sex of the baby.
With regards to preparation I was very disappointed that gender neutral clothes were a very boring sea of grey and white (we were hoping there would be bright colours). Next time we will definitely find out even if it's just for our daughter so she knows about her baby brother/ sister to get her used to the idea of having a sibling.

We've not found out the sex, I've still been able to get a bit of 6-9 and even 12 - 18 month bits. I don't really care for massively gendered things, we have a few bits that are probably out of the boys section that are fine for any gender.

However this is my first and I struggle to get connected sometimes (whether that's not knowing or it still feeling so surreal I don't know). I'm still glad we haven't found out though, it makes the wait go a bit quicker.

Didn't find out with any of mine.
Not sure why you NEED bigger size clothes yet?
You just buy normal baby stuff and you normally get gifted a few outfits so there's no need to buy anything clothes wise other than vests and baby grows.
Worked with all 3 of mine.
Maybe I'm old fashioned but I dont understand this thing of completing babies wardrobe up till they are 2 before they are even born.

We decided not to find out. I think it’s a personal preference for every family, so just do what feels right for you. I always wanted to meet my child when they are born, and for me part of that is not knowing their sex before that. I tend to use they or baby to refer to them rather than it, so it does not feel less personal in any way. I also don’t feel less prepared as I’m already swimming in clothes up to 18 months — but I’m not very drawn to highly gendered clothing anyway.

We didn't find out with our first and did with our second. Now pregnant with no.3 and I think we will find out...

I love the surprise and old fashioned part of not finding out. But I strangely found myself feeling more content having a bit more info about our second. My partner said it stopped the daily questioning (on my part!) of 'this morning I thought it was a boy, now I think it's a girl, what do you think??' He wasn't as excited by this game as me 😁😁😁

We didn't find out with dd (she's 5) and haven't found out with this one either (currently 37 weeks)
It's definitely a personal choice and I'm not sure I've met anyone who has regretted which ever decision they made.
Most people I know found out and sonographers have been surprised that we haven't so I assume more people find out than don't these days.
I like the thought that my body is creating something and I have no clue anything about it. For me it adds to the event itself being able to find out and share not only the birth, the name but also the sex.

I didn’t find out the sex with DC3 and was convinced she was a boy. I only really had a boys name set in stone and was completely shocked when she was born! It took me a while to come to terms with her being a girl and I called her baby for a few weeks .

I think the most irritating part of not finding out was other people’s reactions! I got ‘I bet you know and you’re just not telling’. Why the fuck would I do that? They couldn’t believe I didn’t know. I mean, just get a grip.

I found out with 1st baby and again with my 2nd ( I'm very impatient)
I actually wish I'd kept it as a suprise.

Found out with my first because I was super (over) anxious about being prepared etc. Would love a surprise second time round and I know now that I could reuse lots of dd's neutral stuff and plenty of time to get any 'boy' stuff online / supermarkets. Best wishes for rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your surprise!! Xx

We found out with both. I always say there are enough surprises during labour! Dc one was a boy and we are currently expecting a girl. We were both convinced we were having another boy so it's been good to have the time to let it sink in. Plus I know who to ask for second hand stuff to mix with what we jet from ds1.

I didn't find out with either of mine but I know lots of people who did.

I don't think any of us regret it and it's all the same result in the end - a baby - regardless of when we found out we are surprised!

I still managed to prepare for mine because I tend to go for things I like which are generally pretty unisex anyway e.g. we had white babygrows, petrol blue pram, bright coloured play stuff and a mix of clothes rather than traditional boy/girl stuff.

I think the most irritating part of not finding out was other people’s reactions! I got ‘I bet you know and you’re just not telling’. Why the fuck would I do that? hmm They couldn’t believe I didn’t know. I mean, just get a grip.

How funny, someone said exactly the same thing to me when I was pregnant with DD and I said we had no idea what the sex of the baby was. Honestly, why wouldn't I genuinely want it to be a surprise? So odd

OP, you can get plenty of gender neutral things. I personally am so happy we didn't find out with DD now as a) it meant all of the gifts we got weren't just pink (they were after she was born. Not that we weren't grateful but we were a bit bemused by it) and b) one of the most amazing things was hearing my husband say the sentence "We have a little girl!". Obviously though it's entirely your decision and you should go with whatever you feel you'd prefer. Congratulations!

OP I could have wrote this post except I'm slightly ahead of you at 15 weeks tomorrow! Really do not know what to do! 5 weeks to decide I guess 😂 x

Knowing the sex is useful if you’re getting hand me downs from relatives - you’ll know whether or not that dress you’re being offered is worth accepting or whether your DSIL should pass it on to her hairdresser’s granddaughter. In the end I just didn’t want some random sonographer knowing whether I was having a boy or a girl and not telling me. If nobody had known that would have been fine, but if anyone knew I wanted to know too.

I didn't find out with my two boys and haven't found out this time. No judgement but I do feel it 'spoils the surprise' (for me) and makes other people's birth announcements a bit less exciting (for me) when we know the sex already. Each to their own though, I'm not a planner and don't care about having loads of clothes bought in the 'right' colour.