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Original poster

Okay, I think I might be ready!.....................

56 replies

Thomcat · 21/09/2004 22:42

OH GOD! So.... I looked at Lottie the other day as he was playing, on her own, and thought, you really do need a brother or sister. Then was at at SALT appt the other day when the therapist said does she have any siblings and I said 'no, but I think I need to get her one'!
Think that looking at it that way might make this 1 to 2 kids thing easier to get my head round. I really want another baby, just that very common and totally normal feeling of a) not wanting anyone else but Lottie in my life b) scared it'll be awful and I won't cope and so on, I'm sure most of you know where I am coming from. So the easiest way for me to deal with the whole being scared thing is to concentrate on the 'I'm doing this for lottie' thing.

So, what I wanted to ask was... I just had my 2nd period after coming off the depo injection which I was on since Lottie was born. I came on on the 10th September, so when is the best time to make sure I have lots of sex?!

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CountessDracula · 21/09/2004 22:44

OH TC, snap! We have just made the same scary decision!

Good luck to you. I think it depends a bit on how long your cycle is. I am 28 days reg. as clockwork so tend to get at it around 13 days onwards. I hope that's right

hana · 21/09/2004 22:45

ohhhh it's exciting when you've made the decision to go for number2!!
can't really help you with your dates and coming off the injection thing - but you really need to know when you ovulate and have 'lots of sex' just before during and after that time!!
lots of luck!

Twiglett · 21/09/2004 22:45

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lou33 · 21/09/2004 22:46

Lordy Lordy how exciting for you both!

blossomhill · 21/09/2004 22:46

I think around now! No seriously it's usually about 14 days after the day you cam on. So I would ttc about 2 days before and 2 days after. I gave my friend this advice and she fell that month.

Good luck. I think it's a lovely idea btw!

stupidgirl · 21/09/2004 22:46

No advice, but OMG, how exciting

I am broody again atm

Twiglett · 21/09/2004 22:46

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fairydust · 21/09/2004 22:47

ovulation calculator

not that it's kept on favourites [winks]

fairydust · 21/09/2004 22:47

TC this was based on the 10th september on a 28 day cycle

Heathcliffscathy · 21/09/2004 22:49

easy twiglett, you're as bad as me...

Twiglett · 21/09/2004 22:49

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Twiglett · 21/09/2004 22:51

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fairydust · 21/09/2004 22:53

twiglett - i'm not offically allowed to do it - still wating for genetics tests to all come thruogh - just keeping my options open

Original poster
Thomcat · 21/09/2004 22:53

Oh God, changed my mind!!!!! Not ready! But I'm doing this for Lottie!!!!!!!!!!!
Might just not worry about when to have sex and just carry on as normal and just
see what happens!
As D just told me to stop typing as the noise of the tapping is interferring with his news Star Wars DVD box set we won't be having any how's your father tonight that's for sure!!!!
I'M SCARED.

CD - if I think of you next time I have sex I'll be very worried!
Good luck babes, keep me / us posted.
How old is your little fang now btw?

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Twiglett · 21/09/2004 23:18

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Original poster
Thomcat · 22/09/2004 10:18

Fairydust - thanks for that link hon'.
I know I said that I might just leave it to fate and not go down that 'I;m ready now' route, but after having one unplanned prgnancy there is something appealing about having a say in this one a bit more iykwim.
Still really scared though!
I woke up this morning and thought 'God how will it be if I had to give a bottle to a baby now inbetween getting lottie ready for nursery?' and visualised me with a 4 year old under one arm and a baby under the other! Let's just hope Lottie gets up and walks soon aye!
just those silly thoughts that go through most mums haeds, about how it will work, but I know it will it's just hard to get my head round.

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lou33 · 22/09/2004 10:54

Tc, feel free to disregard this entirely. But my sister had her first child at 27 and he was born with ds. She went on to have another child when he was 18m old, and she says that it really helped both children wrt development, and she is glad she had them so close together. Ds1 seemed to benefit from watching ds2 do the sitting, crawling , walking etc, and it seemed to help him when he learned to walk, because he was watching his borther doing it, thinking, hmmm I want to do that, sort of thing . And from ds2's pov, well he has been shown the positive sides of having a disabled sibling, and given him a great attitude towards disability in general.

I do remember visiting her once though, and she had ds1 under one arm, and baby ds2 under the other , thnking omg how is she coping (before I had dd1), but she really seemed to love it.

aloha · 22/09/2004 11:10

Thomcat, IMO, unless you have fertility problems the best time (and by far the most fun) to have lots of sex is when you want to, not by the calendar. You are clearly pretty fertile - you conceived Lottie on the Pill, iirc! You can ovulate at any time in your cycle and there is lots of evidence that you naturally feel hornier when you are more fertile. So just do it!
I felt EXACTLY the same way as you about feeling that having another baby was being disloyal to ds and not coping etc, and, frankly, still do sometimes and there's no going back for me.... I'm sure you will be fab. Have fun trying. I'll expect to hear news from you in about....ooh, two weeks!

aloha · 22/09/2004 11:12

BTW my friend conceived her second the day after her period ended (yup, the only time in the month she had sex!).

SoupDragon · 22/09/2004 11:12

Oooohh! Exciting...

Original poster
Thomcat · 22/09/2004 11:27

Aloha - LOL - you have a god memory. Yes Lotie was conceivced through contraception and I took the morning after pill, thank God it didn't work, ohhh makes me shudder to imagine not having her in my life, what a terrible thought, uggghhhh!
Also PMSL at the 2 weeks, don't even go there! That would be awful............or would it.........ohhhhhhhhhh I don't know!!!!!!!
How's things with you btw?

Lou - absolutley. That's part of the reason I really want to do it. part of me just wants it to be Lottie and me & D for ever, just as it is now (but with her walking!!!) and the other sensible side knows that it'll be the best thing in the world, for Lottie and my only regret will be that I didn't do it sooner.
Still scared though!

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aloha · 22/09/2004 11:39

I'm fine thanks. Very round! Still feel a bit panicky at the thought of coping and spoiling our lovely life with lovely ds, not to mention hideous thought of sleep deprivation (just you wait!! You won't be that lucky twice, surely) but I am told everyone feels like that. Ds still feel so much like my baby that it's hard to think of his being displaced, if you know what I mean. But I'm sure it will all be fine [crossed fingers icon here] and we will be glad we've done it. BTW it took us just the once (TMI?) so beware!

NomDePlume · 22/09/2004 11:40

WOW !!!

There seems to have been a huge boom in the number of 'TTC no2 -ers' in the last few months.

Best of luck to you all

seriouslythinkingaboutit · 22/09/2004 12:10

There's something in the wind...we now think we might try for a THIRD OMG. Its been a really big decision and if I thought about it too much I wouldnt do it!!!

Thomcat - if its any consolation I have an amazingly close relationship with my first child that was just strengthened with the arrival of number 2, and they LOVE each other, they really do look out for each other and although they fight they are so happy to have the other one around - I can't imagine my first child without the second around now!

Original poster
Thomcat · 22/09/2004 12:23

seriouslythinkingaboutit - that made me go goosebumpy! Thanks

Aloha - OMG - just the once! Aggghhh, I had sex this morning!!!!!! Ha haaaaa, oh shit!

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