"Are you sure you want to order that?"

[ELM8]

Nearly 7 months pregnant, out for dinner with DH last night.

Really nice, chatty waitress. Go to order food and I order prawn skewers starter (cooked, obviously).

Waitress: "Oh I noticed you're pregnant, are you sure you want to order that?"

Me: "I assume they are cooked? They should be fine if so?"

Waitress: "Yes, maybe they will be fine then"

Me: ...

Waitress: "My sister is pregnant and she's just following all the rules so no fish for her.. do you still want to order them?"

I did.. and then went to the toilet and double checked the NHS website and it seems like prawns are fine.. am I missing something?!?!

I'd order a glass of wine too just to make her head explode.

Yes. You’re missing the fact that you are now public property. Anything you order is now up for public scrutiny and everyone feels able to judge you.

Btw, this doesn’t stop when you have the baby. Everything you do from now on will be judged by someone, not everyone thankfully, but someone will think that everything you do is wrong.

Welcome to motherhood!

Welcome to motherhood!

THIS

I probably wouldn't be able to let this lie. I'd probably put a very polite review on Tripadvisor stating that the waitress made you uncomfortable with her judging you unfairly, and that you suggest training of their staff to update them

Or maybe consider she was trying to be helpful and her sister has been misinformed.

I had a massive bowl of giant prawns on holiday then mussels the day after.

There is nothing to suggest you cant eat them.

I bloody love prawns too

It probably came from a good place but it wasn’t her place to say anything. Just brush it off

Thank you for the replies.. yes totally agree she wasn't trying to be rude. Just really made me doubt myself! I then felt like I had to justify myself to my husband so made him read the nhs page as well

I'm just more relieved if anything that no one is saying I shouldn't have had them or is telling prawn related horror stories.

As a side note, they were delicious but I probably won't go back and order them again until the baby is out.. so much easier to just eat/drink at home when you've got a bump I think!

I've one more shocking.
I had a newborn and was in a well known American style diner. I ordered the spicy chicken wings. Waitress said "are you breastfeeding?" None of her business but I said "yes". She then said "sorry you can't have them if you're breastfeeding. They're too spicy and will go into the milk". Despite having had them before and baby being fine, I agree to having the sauce on the side and they weren't the same

@Josephinebettany oh my goodness!!!!!!!!

I hope you had a nice glass of Chablis with them - a large one

I'm raging on your behalf! Was in the supermarket last month buying a few beers for DH's birthday, woman walks by and says "ok, they'd better not be for you!" I looked her right in the eye while I picked up another and said "yes they are". Cheeky mare, I have elected not to drink during pregnancy but that's my decision and nothing to do with her!

Kind of glad to hear I'm not the only one but honestly what is it with people?! Like pregnancy / early motherhood isn't stressful enough without opinions from COMPLETE STRANGERS?!?!

Write a TripAdvisor review saying how nice it was but the waitress told you that the fish and seafood served there wasn't safe for pregnant women even though it was cooked which was a bit alarming as of course if it is stored and cooked properly it should be fine.

I didn't know I could eat cooked prawns! My mum said to avoid them at all costs, which is annoying because I would of ate them last night.

Anyway, the waitress has no right to question you!! Even if it was against nhs guidelines it's your baby, your body.

Hope the prawns were nice!

I had a family member almost snatch the fork from my hand as I went to eat some cheesecake ‘I really don’t think you can eat that!’

I just glared at them and carried on. Never try and come between a pregnant woman and her cheesecake.

It sounds as though she was being quite interfering.

However, I wonder if - in these litigious times - staff in some places are told to mention some things to obviously pregnant women.
Eg "Are you want the Brie?" or whatever, in case, months down the line, someone reappears wanting to sue because they picked up listeria.

But she was probably just trying to be helpful in a very annoying way.

Yup, everyone feeling free to publicly tell you you are wrong about everything = motherhood.

"Are you sure you want..."

God it's so annoying - I had a friend who was pregnant the same time as me and she used to scrutinise menus and Google ingredients furiously when we went out....I followed the NHS guidelines and pretty much just ordered what I fancied but she made me feel so guilty! Agree with a pp - if you do breastfeed then it doesn't stop ("oh baby won't like that in your milk"/ "A glass of pepsi? With dinner?! Baby will have you up all night!") not to mention the general judging of mothers. Just try to ignore or you'll go mad.

This is why, although I'm quite confident in my decision at 34 weeks to have a small glass of wine every now and then (less than once a week probably) I wouldn't do it in public. Too many miseducated judgy people around to spoil the enjoyment of it so I stick to non alcohol versions. I did really enjoy a fake gin and tonic in the pub a couple of weeks ago, totally alcohol free and looked exactly like the real thing. The people at the next table looked appalled, especially when I let my toddler try it.

The vast majority of the food restrictions in pregnancy are to avoid making you or baby ill as a result of bacteria on the food. As long as its cooked thoroughly it will be fine whatever it is. There are some exceptions, obviously, but if the prawns in a restaurant are not cooked properly enough that they pose a risk to pregnant women, then they pose a risk to all their customers.

I think the waitress was just trying to protect you - it's not like she refused to serve you what you had ordered. I can't see any problem with clarifying tbh.
It's entirely different to refusing to serve a of woman what she has ordered.

I would never presume to tell someone what they should or shouldn't do with their bodies. Some people are so cheeky.

I think it's really funny that people will rule out complete food groups - which would actually give important nutrients - without spending the one minute it takes to glance over the nhs website. Wonder what her sister is eating?

It is possible to be well meaning (or patronising more like) and rude at the same time. This is one of these instances. Apart from the fact that eating prawns is completely fine, even if someone wants to stray from the guidelines (and guidelines are not laws ) every now and then, that’s their business. No one other than maybe your midwife should be making judgements or giving you advice about what you shouldn’t be eating, never mind some random waitress who doesn’t know you