Surprise pregnancy - so scared, please help

[tacosplease]

My last period was in late July and after realizing yesterday that I was five days late this month, I went and bought a test. I took it this morning and it turns out I’m pregnant!

I’m really shocked as this is completely unplanned. I’m also very worried as I’ve not been taking folic acid (I didn’t even realise it was a thing until I started frantically googling this morning!) DH and I have also just returned from an all-inclusive resort break where I drank almost every night

DH was ecstatic when I told him the news this morning, but I’m terrified that I’ve harmed the baby in some way and that I shouldn’t continue with the pregnancy. I feel so guilty and can’t stop beating myself up.

I also have so many questions:

• When should I call my GP - should I speak to them today?
• Is the 12 week scan done 12 weeks after conception, or 12 weeks since the first day of your last period? Is it the combined scan that I need?
• Can you choose which hospital to have the baby in or does it have to be your local hospital?
• Aside from taking folic acid and cutting out alcohol, is there anything else I can do now to ensure I have the healthiest pregnancy possible?

Sorry for the long post - I’m just in total shock I think and am so worried about it all. My head is spinning

Congratulations. My mum didn’t realise she was pregnant with me until 6 weeks and drank a fair amount over Christmas and I turned out fine I think! The baby at this stage is being supported by the yolk sack before the placenta is formed so try not to worry. Start taking folic acid now and have a look on nhs website at diet advice.

You can hang on a bit to phone gp doesn’t have to be immediately. They will get you to see a midwife usually between 8 and 10 weeks pregnant. They date from the last day of your period. Same when they book your 12 week scan.

You can choose where to give birth. Generally you have to see a certain midwife as these are community based and linked to where you live but you are allowed to choose where you would like to give birth. This is all discussed with your midwife.

Hope that helps

Congratulations! I had a night out drinking the weekend before I found out I was pregnant! I just made sure that was it! And I started taking folic acid immediately so just pop to the shops today :) it will be fine!

I called the midwife unit after a week once I’d got my head around it and they arranged the booking appointment. Had that just before 8 weeks and the scan was sent in the post about 2 weeks later I think. The went from the first day of my last period for the dates. Xx

Congratulations!

When should I call my GP - should I speak to them today?

• I called mine a couple of days after I found out. The more notice you give them the more time they have to arrange a referral for you to a midwife

• Is the 12 week scan done 12 weeks after conception, or 12 weeks since the first day of your last period? Is it the combined scan that I need? -

your midwife or doctor usually book this for you and it can be up to 14 weeks after first day of last missed period. They will measure and give you a due date and estimated weeks at the appointment. The midwife will talk you through the tests at your booking appointment and ask if you want any screening done

• Can you choose which hospital to have the baby in or does it have to be your local hospital?

Again speak to your midwife. I was under the impression I had 2 local hospitals to chose from but only 1 has a full maternity ward. If my one is full on the day I will need to go to the next one with a full maternity ward which is further away. I did have a choice in where I saw my midwife but you may be restricted in hospital by facilities

• Aside from taking folic acid and cutting out alcohol, is there anything else I can do now to ensure I have the healthiest pregnancy possible?

-you can take pregnancy vitamins that have folic acid in but check them for vitamin a as you don’t want that. The nhs recommend folic acid and vitamin d so if you just want to take them check the recommended dosage of vitamin d. The general advice is keep active, eat a balanced diet and attend all your antenatal appointments. I used the nhs website regularly as it’s full of advice and also recommend using it to clarify advice your given by others. There are lots of myths out there and out of date information and the nhs often has insight into studies and their findings and gives you their opinion on the results. I looked into a few bits after reading stuff on here to find the studies were on a ridiculously small sample of people and had no control groups or conclusive results.

You’re not alone. It’s a lot to get your head around.

Assuming you want to have your baby, yes you need to call your GP who may want to see you (though some will refer you directly to a midwife). The midwife will arrange the scan. It’s a weird period where not much happens to be honest.

Take some folic acid now, and cut the alcohol. There’s lots of advice on the NHS website about what is recommended not to eat (very little, tbh).

The “weeks” are counted from the day of your last period. So you’re already roughly “two weeks pregnant” at the point you conceive if you have a four week cycle.

You might not need to see your GP - many areas allow you to selfrefer to the midwifery service.

I had an unexpected pregnancy too. DD is now 5 and so bright and healthy. I didn’t take folic acid at all with her and she’s fine. My first scan was at about 18 weeks because I refused to accept that it was happening. I did stop drinking when I found out about her but I had been drinking before. Not masses but too much for me to be happy about.

Thank you everyone! I will go and buy some folic acid today and will ring my doctor's surgery on Monday.

It just doesn't seem real, at all. Did anyone else feel like that when they first got pregnant?

Also, when people say how far along they are on Mumsnet and elsewhere, is everyone counting from the first day of their last period? That would make me five weeks pregnant at this stage.

I'd always assumed it was counted from the date of conception (in which case I'd be around three weeks!

I really am clueless...

It’s taken from the first day of your last menstrual period.

Honestly you don’t need to worry if you’re only 5-6 weeks pregnant - when you went on holiday the baby would still have been a dividing ball of cells, there wouldn’t have been an established placental connection by which to pass alcohol.

You’re still in early pregnancy - the date is taken from the first day of your last period, so you’d be 9 weeks if your period started on 1st July. Plenty of people don’t take folic acid and drink in early pregnancy before they find out so do not panic. Get some prenatal vitamins containing folic acid (or a separate one today) and be sure you’re getting vitamin D.

Google to see if you can self refer to maternity in your area - I’m in Dorset and you don’t need to see a doctor, they won’t do anything, you can self refer online. They usually see you around 10 weeks so you’d need to see them quite soon. If there’s no self referral then call your GP practice on Monday, tell the receptionist you are x weeks pregnant and ask about a midwife referral - you probably won’t need to see a gp and they can give you the details but depends on the area.

They’ll take lots of information and put you on a care pathway, probably low risk if you haven’t got any medical issues or other problems. This means you’ll get a date for a 12 week scan. You can choose to have combined screening at that scan. You will probably have blood taken either at your midwife booking appointment or they’ll send you for blood tests - this will be to check things like your blood type. If you need any additional care they will arrange it. If you need to see a consultant they’ll arrange that too. Don’t panic, the midwife appointment will give you all the info you need, including vaccinations (be sure to have your whooping cough and flu jabs, they’ll tell you when to get them).

Most importantly, don’t panic! It’s scary but you can cope!

Pregnancy is always dated from the first day of your last period, and if your period is around five days late, then yes you're about five weeks.

Don't panic about drinking or folic acid. About 50% of pregnancies are unplanned and even fewer have women who were taking folic acid in advance, and do you see 50% of babies born with spina bifida? No you do not. Start taking it now and don't worry. Ditto the drinking - the tiny, tiny embyro isn't sharing your blood supply yet so hasn't partaken of anything you have drunk.

It's a lot to get your head around but give yourself time! Sounds like you are shocked but will be happy when the news settles. You may not actually need to see the GP, a lot of places you now just self refer to the midwife, but if you call the surgery they'll tell you, or you can Google "midwife referral [name of your NHS trust]".

Good luck

Oh you’re only 5 weeks, most people don’t find out until that stage so nothing to worry about there! Just get started on that folic acid :)

Lots of women drink in very early pregnancy before they know they're pregnant. I was one of them - I was on holiday when I found out I was pregnant and like you I'd had a fair bit to drink. I have read - and I don't know how true it is - that because the baby isn't connected to your blood supply at such an early stage, the alcohol doesn't affect them. LOADS of women have had large quantities of alcohol early in pregnancy BEFORE they knew they were pregnant and gone on to have healthy babies.

You need to call your GP next week and ask them to put you on the list to see the midwife. You can do this over the phone and don't need to see a GP (unless you're unwell).

Pregnancies are dated from the first day of your last period, NOT the date of conception, so your 12 week scan will be 12 weeks after the first day of your last period. I don't know anything about a combined scan but you shouldn't be worrying about that right now. All tests are your choice and you will be guided through everything as you go along. Your midwife will book your first scan.

To a certain exent you an choose which hospial to have the baby in but it depends if your pregnancy is high risk or whether or not you may need interventions like a c-section or if your baby may need to spend some time in SCBU or NICU.

You can take a pregnancy supplement as well as folic acid, such as Pregnacare. There are others available too, and which you choose is up to you. No more alcohol obviously, and try to eat healthily if you can (usually very hard in the first trimester as your body might crave high-calorie or high-fat foods!)

Lastly, relax and enjoy. Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Your baby will be fine, you are in the very early stages of pregnancy right now.

Take care of yourself and look forward to the little bundle you'll have in your arms in eight months or so.

This means you’ll get a date for a 12 week scan. You can choose to have combined screening at that scan.

Should you definitely opt for the combined screening?

Another issue is that my GP is in a part of London where I no longer live, but I stuck with them when I moved (even though it's further to travel) as I really like the surgery.

Now I'm going to be having scans, will I need to receive post from my GP/midwife? If so I guess I'll need to switch to a local surgery, as I won't be able to use my current GP once they find out I no longer live in the area

I'm feeling slightly better about the drinking/folic acid thanks to all the reassuring replies - thank you so much

Also how much coffee are you allowed to drink - is it two cups max?

It’s a completely personal choice whether to have the screening. The one at 12 weeks is non invasive but some people decide not to have it as if the results raise more questions further tests can be. We opted to have them but discussed what our next step would be if they came back with cause for concern so we knew what we wanted before getting results. Talk it through with your partner and make a decision of what’s right for you. As for the gp a woman at my antenatal class managed to keep her go up until 36 weeks but she was advised to swap before baby was born as they would find out she was in a different area anyway

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/foods-to-avoid-pregnant/

The link above covers food and drink recommendations

@tacosplease yes 2 cups! I drink a lot so I’ve switched to decaf coffee now! And have couple cups of normal tea as I don’t like decaf tea! X

Awww congratulations!
I found out I was pregnant after I had been on holiday - smoking and drinking all week.
I was worried to death but the midwife reassured me and everything's seems fine on all of my antenatal tests.
I have since stopped both (for the record lol)
Don't get too stressed about folic acid. I suffered badly with sickness and had to work full time. The folic acid made things 10 times worse and I weighed it up and decided I wouldn't take it. Anything to make my day to day life easier was a benefit. However if you're ok it won't harm you to start taking it now.
I went to the doctors straight away after I found out and they were really lovely and got the ball rolling. Midwife came to see me at home not long after and then the scans took place.
Just go with it for now. Change is always nerve racking.
Good luck

I didn't find out I was pregnant with DS until late on, after a lot of alcohol over Christmas and a fair bit in the weeks following. I was also taking medication that is not recommended in pregnancy, my diet was crap, I existed on strong coffee. So I was panicked that he would have foetal alcohol syndrome, damage caused by medication, damage from not taking vitamins, damage from drinking a lot of coffee each day, you name it. I was also very stressed and I kept reading how terrible stress was for the foetus and how it could damage them for life, all those scary studies!

He was absolutely fine - born on time, a good weight, in rude health and is now a loud, healthy 7 year old who is doing extremely well at school.

Congratulations - now, relax and try to enjoy it!

OP your baby will be fine. I didn't find out until I was 6 weeks with my first and I was quite the party girl back then. I also know people who have drank through their pregnancies and still had perfectly healthy babies.
Call the gp and make an appointment with the midwife.
Congratulations, stop worrying. Most people have drank in the early stages of pregnancy and worse. Also a lot of people don't even take the folic acid.

Hi OP. Congratulations! I’m 38 weeks currently with an unexpected pregnancy so I know how you feel. I was sooo shocked when I found out but that only lasted about 5 minutes and then I had a huge grin about having a wee baby. With my dates I got pregnant around Christmas time and so obviously was having some celebrations and drinks etc at that time, but midwife said not to worry about that.
I remember phoning up to book my 12 week appointment I was absolutely terrified and when I went for the appointment my blood pressure was super high, and they sent me for tests but turns out I was just so so anxious to tell people about it!!
It’s a really excited journey and now I’m 38 weeks I feel like I know everything I need to know about what to expect and the midwifes are all lovely and answer all your silly questions.

For your question on folic acid, I just bought enough pregnacare tablets from boots for my whole pregnancy. It’s folic acid, iron and vitamin d. But when I went for my 12 week appointment they gave me ‘healthy start’ vitamins as well which were free and didn’t need a prescription. Still just taking the pregnacare ones but probably didn’t need to buy enough for the whole pregnancy at once.

Your due date is calculated from the date of your last period, rather than date of conception, and that’s what they use at the scans to check the size etc of the baby and when you have your midwife appointments later on they measure the size of your bump to monitor baby’s growth.

I’d say just stop drinking, take folic acid and vitamin d, and limit/cut out your caffiene intake or switch to decaff, and try to have a healthy diet. The beginning can be hard if you get morning sickness as well, so look out for tips on that.

Enjoy your amazing journey!