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Original poster

I told my baby’s dad......

34 replies

Starlight84 · 04/08/2019 16:38

A few of you saw my post a while ago about telling my baby’s dad the sex etc. Long story short when he found out about the baby one min he was ok. Then he wasn’t . Then he was. Until finally decided he wasn’t and wanted nothing to do with us. He’s not been in contact since.

Today after I good think I messaged just saying hi. I wanted you to know we are expecting a baby boy, due in jan.

He’s read the message and not responded. Which is ok. I knew he wouldn’t. But I feel so much better for being the bigger person and at least I know I have tried to reach out. He can’t ever say I’ve not said this or that as I’ve got all our WhatsApp convo archived.

So I guess that’s it now. He knows and that’s all I can do xx

OP posts:
FairyDust92 · 05/08/2019 03:57

Good on you for being the bigger person. It's his loss x

DamnitCharlie · 05/08/2019 07:05

It's definitely his loss. I really can't fathom anyone not wanting to know their own child made up of half their DNA! Do you have his address or are you in contact with mutual friends or family so you are able to contact him when your son is older if you need to?
I haven't seen your other posts but if he is not going to contribute to parenting your child at least look into child maintenance so you are getting some support from him.

Original poster
Starlight84 · 05/08/2019 18:08

No mutual friends and never met his family. They aren’t local. I am just hoping he doesn’t change his phone number or move! Xx

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 05/08/2019 18:11

That happened to me, many years ago.
I wouldn't contact him again. His loss.

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 15:48

I’ve just received a reply saying “and you’re telling me because what? I’m not interested”

So that’s thats! I’m not replying! I’ve got an actual message now saying he’s not interested. I’ve done my part. Xx

OP posts:
Vesperia · 07/08/2019 15:53

how sad for your son though

sue51 · 07/08/2019 15:57

He sounds a complete shit. I hope you plan to put in claim for child maintenance when the baby arrives. Its the very least he can do for his child.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 07/08/2019 16:06

Callous bastard. No way I wouldn’t be chasing him down for maintainence.

StarlightIntheNight · 07/08/2019 16:39

Good riddance for her son. He does not need someone like that in his life. Hopefully the poster will eventually meet someone who can be a good role model and father to her son. In the meantime, she is all he needs. And hopefully she has good support from her own family.

RedWineAllMine · 07/08/2019 16:44

Happy to do the deed but not man enough to accept the consequences of his actions.
This post made me so sad, I'm sorry to hear this OP.
Do you have any family support around you?
I would get him to pay child maintenance also. You and baby are rightfully entitled to it.

Chocolatedaim · 07/08/2019 16:46

What a low life.

I hope you have a good support system around you Op, and please know you can’t make anyone interested, his loss!

Rivkka · 07/08/2019 16:46

I would reply and say I'm telling you because it's the decent thing to do. Best regards

aliensprig · 07/08/2019 16:53

Jesus what a douchebag. I don't have anything constructive to add, but I hope you're okay. You and your boy will be just fine :) x

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 17:01

Do you know what. I am actually ok. I am just glad I actually have a message saying he’s not interested incase down the line he meets someone who maybe hasn’t got kids and they start pressing him for contact!

To those asking about support I’ve some really great friends and I know my dad and his partner will be and my brother. My mums not so reliable but that’s ok! She wasn’t around for us growing up so I’m not that fussed about her! I’ve got the important people!

I pity the fool who gets with him next. My neighbour said she saw him on tinder last week haha!! X

OP posts:
sue51 · 07/08/2019 17:44

You sound strong and wise. Best of luck to you and your baby.

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 18:02

Thank you @sue51 xx

OP posts:
SweetJasmine17 · 07/08/2019 18:17

Try and get child maintenance. I didn't, but I think it's important. Why should he be off the hook, he created a child too.

Good luck either way

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 18:54

@SweetJasmine17 believe me when the baby is born I will do. My girls dad got away with it and this one isn’t! Xx

OP posts:
MaisyMary77 · 07/08/2019 18:59

This happened to me almost 27 years ago. (Blimey! Really doesn’t seem that long!) He’s never shown an interest nor paid a penny towards DD. We managed and she is the most amazing, successful young woman! She has zero interest in tracking him down and has no curiosity about him at all.

All the best for you and your baby!

aliensprig · 07/08/2019 19:27

I pity the fool who gets with him next. My neighbour said she saw him on tinder last week

I've never used tinder but I've heard it's so toxic. I wish you could leave ratings and reviews for people on these apps, something along the lines of "1/5 - don't even bother with this loser" Grin

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 20:02

@aliensprig yes!!! I’ve said this soooooo many times to friends!! Xx

OP posts:
RedWineAllMine · 07/08/2019 20:58

I don't know how these shitbags I mean men can walk around doing their day to day stuff, knowing they have a child yet not bothering to have anything to do with it. Like the child doesn't even exist. It takes a cold heart to do that.
He won't like paying the child maintenance, but it's tough titty for him. Stay strong OP.

Original poster
Starlight84 · 07/08/2019 21:24

@RedWineAllMine no it won’t go down well at all and I’ll have to deal with that as soon as I’m home from hospital and feel up to it. But I won’t leave it too long! Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Starlight84 · 09/08/2019 17:10

The idiot has messaged asking when we met..... guessing he’s now going to try and worm his way out of saying he’s the father! Xx

OP posts:
SweetJasmine17 · 09/08/2019 17:23

Don't worry about that- he'll have to pay CSA unless he requests DNA.