I told my baby’s dad......

[Starlight84]

A few of you saw my post a while ago about telling my baby’s dad the sex etc. Long story short when he found out about the baby one min he was ok. Then he wasn’t . Then he was. Until finally decided he wasn’t and wanted nothing to do with us. He’s not been in contact since.

Today after I good think I messaged just saying hi. I wanted you to know we are expecting a baby boy, due in jan.

He’s read the message and not responded. Which is ok. I knew he wouldn’t. But I feel so much better for being the bigger person and at least I know I have tried to reach out. He can’t ever say I’ve not said this or that as I’ve got all our WhatsApp convo archived.

So I guess that’s it now. He knows and that’s all I can do xx

When you met? Just reply and ask why he thinks you'd be interested in knowing that.

I did ask why! He said we need to meet and talk about it. I said there’s nothing to talk about. He said you’re on your own. Not my child. I said if you say so. I got back I know so! I said you don’t even know when we met let alone anything else! He put back bye 😂😂😂😂 that keeps making me chuckle xx

Child maintenance starts from the time cms contact him. Requesting a dna test , which he will have to pay for , will delay payment but it will be backdated.
Don't engage with him as he's clearly an idiot, just tell him child maintenance will deal with him from now on. You don't need this stress.

I need to research dna tests. I don’t trust him to do a home one. I think he would get his mate to do it or something. I wouldn’t put it past him to pull stunts like that. X

I think you're wise not to let him arrange it. If he queries parentage with the cms they will arrange the test with their approved laboratories. Cms will have a list of doctors in his area who can take his dna sample. The doctor will need photo id from him so he won't be able to send a friend to take the test in his place.

Thank you @sue51 that’s very good to know. X

Definitely CMS, the week your DS is born. They can chase him for a DNA test at his expense.

My XH pulled this shit. He's never met his DS but he did pay CM for him religiously for an entire year before requesting a paternity test. They ID them. I had the same fear he'd swab a mate and it would come back negative. He thought he was the father because we were married but wanted legal proof. Just be wary that he may change his mind with time. I heard nothing off XH for 10 months after DS was born and in the last four months have suddenly had two requests for pictures and updates (once before the test, once after). It makes me wary.

@Rtmhwales thank you. Yes I Feel very wary about the whole thing. Time will tell. I will get the ball rolling as soon as I am home from my section x

Dont engage with him.