Telling a new employer I’m pregnant.

[Char1997]

Hi all,
I’ve recently graduated from university and found out I am 18 weeks pregnant with a baby due christmas eve. Obviously I have been job hunting for a number of months now and becoming more and more stressed as time goes on. I was offered a job earlier this afternoon on the spot and was too nervous to explain that I was expecting. I rang the director after leaving and explained that I didn’t want to join under false pretences and that I understand it is an inconvenience for a new hire. They told me that “it isn’t ideal” and that they “feel misled” and that I wasn’t honest. Am I in the wrong for not revealing this information straight away?

Would love some advice on whether they are allowed to do this as I have read many places
before that businesses aren’t allowed to discriminate against pregnancy and that I also have no legal obligation to tell the potential employer that I am pregnant?

They aren’t allowed to discriminate but in reality they probably will. The job will change or suddenly there will be a re-.org and the position will be no longer available:

Although it’s of little consolation, they are showing you that they are twats, and would be twats to work for.

You don’t have to tell them legally at interview (to do with discrimination), and would actually go as far as to say what they’ve said to you having now disclosed it is quite unprofessional/frowned upon.

Would love some advice on whether they are allowed to do this as I have read many places
before that businesses aren’t allowed to discriminate against pregnancy

But you haven’t been discriminated against? Unless they’ve withdrawn the offer/changed the terms, they haven’t done anything discriminatory.

Now, the dorector’s choice of language wasn’t great, but you haven’t been discriminated against.
Yet.

Oh no completely agree I haven’t yet but I am most definitely prepared for the job offer to be retracted as the response was not good at all and has definitely made me feel saddened by the response! :(

I think there’s a lesson for you in this. You didn’t have to tell them today. You shouldn’t have said a thing until you’d started, were settled in, and closer to the stage where you have to disclose.

That said, I can see it from the company’s point of view too. Assuming it’s a permanent job, you’ll start in August, and will work for 4.5 months before going off for up to a year. For a small company, that’s could be a very big hit to take in terms of training and recruitment costs etc.
Absolutely, they can’t and shouldn’t discriminate against you, but you can see why it’s less than ideal for them, surely?

I completely agree. I felt guilty and felt like I had to disclose it there and then. Was causing me to feel very anxious about the whole situation. Surely if I had left it and told them in say 6 weeks they would feel more resentment towards me? I can 100% see why this would be an issue in terms of training and recruitment but isn’t it all just a part of life and without doubt I would have been returning afterwards. I feel that it is a hard situation to come out of positively either way :(

Following this with interest!!

I'm in a similar position myself op so I can complete empathise with you!

I took a job about 6 weeks ago and a week later found out I'm pregnant. Trouble is the job doesn't start think September! I have my 12 week scan on 23rd August so didn't want to say anything until I have made sure everything is ok.

But I am now dreading September coming and having to have that conversation! I honestly don't know how I'll tell them!! Xxx

I don't see how they can retract the offer?
Go in gung ho about how you are going to make it work.

@HoneyBee833 this was me 2 Years ago.. I was offered the job at the beginning of July found out a week or so later I was pregnant .. My 12 week scan was first couple of weeks in September (after several miscarriages I wasn't even admitting it to myself never mind a new workplace).. I'm a teacher so the role didn't start to the September... I told them in the middle of Sept as i had to due to illnesses going round the school at the time. But honestly despite me being incredibly nervous my principal couldn't have been happier for me and was super at making sure my needs were met.
I'm sorry op didn't get a better response though

As i’ve been actively searching and attending interviews I have received so much conflicting advise on whether to disclose straight away, after you’ve been offered the job/accepted or keep schtum for a while and say i’ve only just discovered. The more honest side of me just felt guilty and honestly didn’t want to create a bad relationship with a new employer! it’s such a difficult one and I completely empathise with you! wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy and your new job!xx

After I rang her and told her, which I was incredibly worried to do, her response was not great and has made me fear the worst. She said she will contact me soon to let me know but I was offered the job and I did accept even tho it was only verbally. I’m hoping they don’t retract I really am, but the vibe i received just wasn’t reassuring in the slightest.

I’m so glad your principle took the news so well! Only hoping this employer comes around!:(

I don't see how they can retract the offer?
Go in gung ho about how you are going to make it work

She doesn’t need to go in “gung ho” and discuss making anything work. She’s been offered the job. She needs to start on her assigned start date, and do her work.

They can’t retract the offer based on the fact that she’s pregnant.

OP, did you get the offer on email? If not, I’d suggest sending an email thanking them for the offer, confirming your acceptance, and then requesting confirming of start date, or confirming it if they’ve already communicated it to you.

A simple-
“Hi X.

Once again, thank you for meeting with me today and extending me an offer of employment for the position of Y. As I mentioned when we met, I am delighted to accept this offer and look forward to starting with you on XX/08/19.

Regards,
The OP”

No further mention of pregnancy until you’re in there and need to attend antenatal appointments.

Oh OP I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

They are not allowed to discriminate...but almost certainly will. Legal protection should protect pregnant women but (as in all walks of life) people will automatically try to make things better for themselves.

It’s expensive, inconvenient and risky to employ a pregnant woman. So, (unless your skills are very highly sought after) they’re VERY unlikely to hire you!

That being said, it doesn’t change much once you’re in! I recently had to tell my employer (large multi nat) that I’m pregnant as I’m unwell with symptoms. They’re actually a great employer on the whole and were ‘nice’ about it but I was left under no illusions that it ‘wasn’t ideal’ 🙄 and they aren’t chuffed!

I’ve worked for them for 1.5 years and they have a very good HR team so I’m not overly worried. But I know for a fact that now I’ve been signed off sick my team are really struggling.

Thing is, DH and I intend to have 2/3 kids pretty much back to back. Given how poorly I am I may be signed off a fair bit. But I’d be stupid to leave my job and give up all my benefits/ security for what...moral obligation? 😂

So whilst I think it’s right that women are protected during pregnancy. I can totally understand why it’s REALLY annoying and unreasonable for companies.

I work in HR and we had exactly this scenario at work last year. We were pleased for the girl, but I won't lie, we gave a collective groan at work.

They cannot retract your job offer as that could be a case for discrimination. However of course they are not going to be thrilled - they've just filled a role with someone who will disappear again in 6 months time and now they'll have to recruit and pay for a mat cover. Be warned also you will not be entitled to any maternity pay (government rules, not the company's).

@Smurf123 thank you so much for your reply!! I'm a HLTA hence why the job doesn't start until September! Hoping it will all be fine, I just don't know how to even start the conversation xxx

Marebarone no she does not have to at all, but the OP said she was feeling "guilty" and "anxious" so I was suggesting a way she could handle it. I've been in this position myself.

DO not feel guilty and anxious - you do not have to tell them and they are not allowed to ask. Its just tough and people think they are morally right to look down on it - its all part of life though. You will only be entitled to min levels of pay/leave so you need to read up on that and when you formally have to tell them you are pregnant. They just need to suck it up and adapt etc. They may however look to get rid of you in other ways so need to be squeaky clean going forward with regard to sick leave, appts etc so they get no opportunity to pick at you

I can completely understand this! I got a job offer and accepted. Handed in my 4 week notice straight away. This was last Monday...i then discover i am pregnant on Saturday. I am terrified about telling my new employer. We ware a super small team only 4 of us. One is going on Maternity in a months time....then i will be in March-ish time. Worrying about whether i will have been there long enough for maternity pay too.

Hi all,
thank you all for your lovely supportive replies. The director has now emailed me withdrawing the job offer and said they “hate the fact I lied” when I definitely didnt. I was never asked (which they’re not allowed to do anyway) but I also had one formal interview and was offered the job on the spot. I feel that what they’ve done is incredibly unprofessional and has really upset me. I hope none of you ladies experience this when telling your new employers!

Never mind being “unprofessional” if they’ve withdrawn a job offer because you’re pregnant they’re on the hook for a discrimination claim. What total fucking scumbags, as well as incredibly stupid.

It may be worth speaking to ACAS and taking some legal advice if you want to take it further.

@Char1997 I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you but you seem really lovely and driven I'm sure something else will come along and mostly like with a company who share your views and morals. This company clearly doesn't and although it doesn't seem like it right now I reckon you dodged a bullet there xx

@JadaMarie you need to have been working at the company for 26 weeks prior to 15 weeks before your due date so I don't think you will however as long as you have paid your NI for the last 66 weeks you will be eligible for Maternity Allowance which is more or less the same thing. I've just changed jobs at 14 weeks pregnant so I've just had to go through all this, check out the Gov website - www.gov.uk/maternity-allowance

Oh and you didn’t lie and weren’t dishonest. You’re not obliged to tell them of a pregnancy, even if you are already at work, until 15 weeks before the baby is due, and that’s for the purposes of taking mat leave.

And even if you did lie and were dishonest it would have been with bloody good reason given how you have now been treated!

Does the email reference the pregnancy?