Telling a new employer I’m pregnant.

[Char1997]

Hi all,
I’ve recently graduated from university and found out I am 18 weeks pregnant with a baby due christmas eve. Obviously I have been job hunting for a number of months now and becoming more and more stressed as time goes on. I was offered a job earlier this afternoon on the spot and was too nervous to explain that I was expecting. I rang the director after leaving and explained that I didn’t want to join under false pretences and that I understand it is an inconvenience for a new hire. They told me that “it isn’t ideal” and that they “feel misled” and that I wasn’t honest. Am I in the wrong for not revealing this information straight away?

OP you NEED to respond to that email!

Something along the lines of.

I’m sorry that you have chosen to retract the offer of employment which was extended to me at the conclusion of my interview on X date.
I made you aware of my pregnancy shortly after the interview as I trusted you would not discriminate against me based on this. I was not asked about pregnancy prior to it during my interview so did not lie in any way (I assume I was not asked about this as you are legally not allowed to ask this during the recruitment/interview process).

I hate that you have chosen to discriminate against me due to my pregnancy and insinuate that I mislead or lied to you, when I am/was in fact fully protected by discrimination legislation.

I am sure you can appreciate that I will need to take this further and an currently considering legal advice to contest this as a discrimination issue. In this modern world it is extremely important that companies such as yourselves are not allowed to continue such barbaric practise as discriminating against pregnant women and breaching legislation specifically designed to protect them.’

*prior to, or during my interview

Get on the phone to ACAS OP. You may not feel like it now but this is direct pregnancy discrimination - they retracted the offer because you're pregnant. Pregnancy is one of the 9 protected characteristics and ACAS can help you work out if you'd like to take it further - you're in no obligation to do so by calling them, but I would absolutely recommend having a chat with one of their advisors.

Info here: beta.acas.org.uk/if-your-job-offer-is-withdrawn

If you send an email like that guarentee they’ll be like ‘oh shit’.
You may suddenly get a ‘we think there has been some misunderstanding’ response and may still be offered some sort of role. That or they’ll try to diffuse the situation.

They can say ‘you lied’ but any tribunal would see it as ‘you didn’t disclose your pregnancy and they’ve discriminated against you because of a protected characteristic’

I know you won’t want to/feel like it OP but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE fight this and kick up the biggest Fuss you possibly can, or this will just carry on happening to women.

It’s a HUGE problem and highly illegal, they’re taking advantage of you probably because you’re so young! Don’t let them

You may even get a little pay out (enough to make baby’s arrival a bit easier)

I once dated a male primary school teacher (deputy head) he was helping to interview for a new teacher (to also cover maternity when another teacher left).
He came home one night and said ‘we interviewed an amazing candidate today, she was perfect- will be a fab addition to the school’

A week later I asked a question about her and he shook his head ‘nah, that’s not happening anymore - a friend of hers knows one of our teachers and turns out she’s a couple months pregnant. We can’t afford to pay one maternity ... never mind bloody two!’

Basically ended my relationship with him- he was so flippant and actually quite disdainful about that woman daring to interview and not announce her pregnancy

Please fight this OP! You deserve better.

It is terrible! Please can you fight back? This shouldn't have happened and you are entitled to that job! You have accepted the offer. You have all grounds to win this case in court! Pregnancy is not a lie!

Oh shit OP it makes my blood boil that companies think they can treat people like this.

Even if at the end of the process you are planning to tell them to stick their job, please, please fight it - they can’t just do this and face no consequences.

What exactly does the email say? Have they specified it relates to the pregnancy, or are you claiming you lied about something else?

They cannot withdraw the offer because you're pregnant. They can withdraw the offer for a multitude of other reasons.

Hi all,
thank you so much for your advice! I’m definitely thinking of fighting it! Are these cases easy to fight or will they dig up anything and try to make me seem a bad person? I’ll attach the actual email.

Please please speak to ACAS OP.

This is blatant discrimination and the employer needs to be challenged on it.

What bullshit! If you’d been upfront they wouldn’t have offered you the job .

Afraid I’ve got no practical advice but wish you the best of luck. It might be worth starting a new thread in the employment or legal sections, there are some hugely knowledgeable posters but imagine most don’t hang out on the pregnancy board. If you make your title something like “job offer withdrawn after telling employer I’m pregnant” I’m sure you’ll get good advice.

I have seen @flowery give very sound advice to posters on employment rights, I really think you should repost over in employment as many posters won't ever be in the pregnancy topic.
Good luck. They are idiots I think to send you that.

The positive thing about this is that you have it in writing from them (their HR will be worried!) Definitely pursue action against them, it is discrimination. Hopefully you may get some sort of payout that will help when the baby arrives.

I've just seen your update but even if you had not told them at some point they would have found out and let you go - probably during probationary period.

Fight this OP. This is discrimination - could not be more black and white.

Managers all male by any chance? 🤦‍♀️

Jesus that e-mail isn't even professional in the tiniest bit. I'm so annoyed for you!

I'd definitely fight it, it's sod all to do with honestly and everything to do with not wanting to employ a pregnant person. When exactly did they expect you to say

How dare they blame you for dishonesty? They are openly discriminating! I'm fuming on your behalf! Please get them ripped in court!

I was offered a new job last summer on the day of interview and I accepted, I then got pregnant. Didn't start the job until 2 months after interview and I intended to not tell them for a while but I had horrific morning sickness so had to tell them on my first day. In reality they were probably really annoyed (especially as it's a job that only 2 of us do) but they were nothing but supportive about it (nothing they could do really). I'm not on maternity leave for 9 months after 7 months of work! I probably wouldn't have told the job until you'd started maybe but being honest now does give a good impression.

OP, this is NOT acceptable (or legal) and you should fight this! There was no obligation to inform them of your pregnancy during the interview and you didn't lie to them, this is discrimination. They have withdrawn a job offer because you are pregnant, and you have written confirmation of that. I'd strongly you contact ACAS for advice, and consider taking this further: m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1363

It is not ok for them to do this, it's discrimination, and this is not your fault.

Hi all,
Thank you all so much for your kind messages and your advice! I am on the phone to ACAS now trying to get some advice on where I stand. I have also posted this as a legal thread! Thank you all so much! Will keep this thread updated tho!

@gonewiththepotter email text is excellent, what an awful thing to happen to you!

OP there is also a section called Employment Matters if you don't have luck in Legal.