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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner who refuses to take his phone out running

46 replies

Ridethewaves · 25/07/2019 19:31

Last night I got in from work to find my partner had gone out for a run. Unfortunately shortly after I started bleeding quite heavily, a shock as im 25 weeks along. I tried calling/ whatsapping him but couldn't get through so ended up calling a friend to take me to the hospital. 3 hours later, still no sign of my partner at the hospital and no answer on his phone. It turned out he had also not taken his house keys so couldnt get back into the house to get to his phone.
Eventually he called me from a friends house after waiting for me in the garden for 2 hours!
Luckily the baby is fine so we're both very relieved and back home. But this evening he's gone out running again and point blank refused to take his keys and phone (apparently theyre annoying to carry!).

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed about this?!? Any suggestions as to how I get him to see that being contactable is important?

OP posts:
PixieLumos · 25/07/2019 19:36

Well if the event you just described hasn’t taught him a lesson on why being contactable is important then I’m really not sure what will. You’re not being unreasonable at all.

HappyHammy · 25/07/2019 19:38

Glad you and your baby are ok. He has to take phone and door key. Has he not learnt after last night. Silly man. I'd deliberately go out just before he is due home.

SummerInTheVillage · 25/07/2019 19:39

Either he takes them or he doesn't run. His choice.

I'd go out a few times and leave him in the garden if he doesn't start behaving responsibly.

Cosmogirl86 · 25/07/2019 19:40

He's being completely unreasonable. I have insisted my husband is contactable at all times for weeks now. I'm 35 weeks with twins and know premature labour is possible. Personally, I'd be furious with him. Buy him a running bum bag.

HMArsey · 25/07/2019 19:41

I had a belt that I wore for running that could hold a phone and key, it was neoprene and v comfy.

Expressedways · 25/07/2019 19:42

Glad you and the baby are ok! You’re not being unreasonable at all. How about getting him one of the new Apple Watches with cellular if it’s affordable/available on his network? Not annoying to wear running and you’ll be able to contact him if needed. If that’s not an option then I agree he should take his phone!

austenozzy · 25/07/2019 19:42

Phones are irritating to carry but you can get belts and straps for that. Flip belt is one. I would sometimes put my phone inside a fluffy sock and put it in a bum bag. The sock stopped it flapping about and also padded it. It was fine. He needs to consider these eventualities considering what happened!

PrayingandHoping · 25/07/2019 19:42

You can get running arm bands for keys and phone!

Potatopia · 25/07/2019 19:43

If it's just that they're annoying to carry, could you treat him to a phone armband/bumbag? Lots online for £10 or less.
(I appreciate it should be him finding a way to carry it, this is just a suggestion to try and convince him!)

Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/07/2019 19:44

I hate taking a phone when running and never do.

However I am contactable on my Apple Watch if needed.

Tableclothing · 25/07/2019 19:44

Lots of running gear has a pocket specially for a key sewn in. I have a mini karabiner that I use to quickly attach/detach my front door key from my main key ring, cost about 50p off eBay.

But if he hasn't learned from yesterday that it's important, he never will. What a twonk.

Glad you and baby are ok.

Original poster
Ridethewaves · 25/07/2019 19:47

Thanks so much for all your responses! Im going to show him this thread to help him with this!

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 25/07/2019 19:48

Any suggestions as to how I get him to see that being contactable is important?

Probably the most effective way would be for you to go out for a good six/seven hours every time he goes out for a run and expects you to wait in for him. Don't know how feasible that is for you, but he might get the message after a couple of weeks, that it would be easier to take a key with him.

meuh · 25/07/2019 19:48

Hmm I'm on the fence with this one. Taking phone and keys on a run when you're 25 weeks pregnant seems overkill. After all presumably you'd let him go for a swim where his phone would be in a locker?

But given the scare you've just had I'm surprised he doesn't want to avoid a similar scenario happening a second time.

Chocolatelover45 · 25/07/2019 19:48

He could hide the key in the garden perhaps. Although surely he can tie the key to a drawstring or something? But if he's out for more than an hour he needs to take a phone. Maybe he can restrict himself to short runs for now?

Kneehighinshit · 25/07/2019 19:49

House key can be threaded onto shoelace or hidden round the side of the house?
Phone is a little different but agree he should be contactable if you're expecting.

My DH and I always tell each other what route we're running/ cycling and an expected time back (and a panic time!) This was all agreed after a very scary day when I had to go out and find him. Not fun at all.

Glad you and baby are ok. You definitely need an agreement in place, for his safety and yours

Tableclothing · 25/07/2019 19:50

Does he only ever run when you'll be in to open the door for him?

Purpleheadgirl · 25/07/2019 20:07

Get one of the keysafebixes so you can set the code and leave the key at least safely at home. Good for everyone e.g if key gets lost or broken

flowerstar19 · 25/07/2019 20:11

My husband is a big runner too and always takes just a single front door key in a little zippy pocket in his (Ronhill) running shorts. Not to take his phone after your terrifying scare is selfish and bonkers! He is also mad to be out running if it is as hot with you as it is here!

cstaff · 25/07/2019 20:31

After last night's scare you would think he would have learnt his lesson but he's obviously a bit of a fucking eejit. He needs to grow the fuck up.

Tini17 · 25/07/2019 20:41

Key safe for the key and an armband thing for phone. Or Apple Watch.
I would be beyond furious with him.
Glad you’re ok x

Buddytheelf85 · 25/07/2019 21:14

Armband or belt for the phone and a key. Or buy shorts with a zippy pocket. Loads of runners manage to take their phones and keys.

Your pregnancy is almost irrelevant in a way - you shouldn’t be expected to wait to let him in when he goes out running because he can’t be bothered to take basic stuff with him.

Morticiaismystyleicon · 25/07/2019 21:19

Come round to mine OP. Every. Single. Time. He goes for a run. Stay, for many hours. Overnight even. Leave your phone at home. I'll take you to the hospital if you need to go. Is that ok for him?
Even once the baby's born he can't just fuck off whenever he feels like it for hours on end. The baby could be sick/ screaming/ or whatever and in a 50/50 relationship you should be able to call on him if you need to.
Tell him you think there's an OW since he's out and uncontactable for so long, see what he says then Wink

CalamityJune · 25/07/2019 21:35

I'm going against the grain but I do think that it should be fair enough to go for a short period without your phone. Unless he is marathon training he can't be out more than an hour or so?

Having said that, there's no reason he couldn't communicate what time he went out and when he is due back and he should also have the means to let himself back into the house. Waiting in the garden for two hours was ridiculous.

Lllot5 · 25/07/2019 21:57

I think not having his phone with him at all times is ok ( I’m old we didn’t have mobiles when I was expecting ). But tell him to take his key surely he can find somewhere to put it.

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