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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Birth videos... do you think it's worth seeing them?

53 replies

MrsMar · 30/07/2007 13:05

I missed an antenatal class last week, where the midwife showed a video of someone giving birth. This week when I went quite a few people were still reeling from it, a couple said they couldn't get the images out of their heads.

My question is, do you think there's any value in showing these videos in ante natal classes? Do you think it's more likely to make a first timer like me scared? I've always been told by lots of people who've had children, they think it's worse for the person watching than for the person giving birth. You're either so out of it in pain and on gas and air, or you're coping with the assistance of pain relief drugs that either way you're not as aware of what's going on as everyone else in the room. I know plenty of people who didn't realised they'd pooed themselves until after the birth, and plenty who ended up naked but have no recollection of taking their clothes off.

I know that the fear of pain can make it worse, so do you think seeing these videos is more likely to scare someone and possibly make their experience of labour worse, or is it better to have your eyes fully opened as to what it's going to be like? I'm under no illusions as to how painful it's going to be, I'm just debating whether to borrow the video from the midwife as she's offered it to me. Any opinions/experiences gratefully received!

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PregnantGrrrl · 30/07/2007 13:08

i think it depends on how the mother in the video seemed / was treated, and how squeamish a person is. When i saw someone giving birth on TV while i was pregnant with DS, i cried for about an hour because it was so amazing and i couldn't wait...but then i was realistic about fluids / pain / stretching etc anyway, so there weren't any surprises!

i'd imagine it's a video of a straight forward vaginal birth, where the mother coped quite well, so i'd watch it.

beansprout · 30/07/2007 13:10

I think the vid I saw was a really straightforward birth. I've seen a lot worse on the tv!!

KezzaG · 30/07/2007 13:17

Ive recently done a hypnobirthing course, and a lot of emphasis is placed on the idea that if you expectpain you will get pain. I personally dont see the benefit of watching something horrible knowing it is going to happen to you, but I guess somepeople want to be prepared so each to their own.

I asked my dh to imagine he was going to be kicked in the balls every 5 minutes for 12 hours, with no idea exactly when, how long he would be kicked and how hard. Would he want to watch it happen to someone else first so he could see what he was in for or would he rather not. He kind of got my point after that.

WallyHerbert · 30/07/2007 13:18

Imho no.

No matter what you hear or see nothing quite prepares you for the reality.

SandyJ · 30/07/2007 14:12

I found it very useful as the last time I'd seen a childbirth video was the one they show you in biology at age 14, who's real intent is not the educational side, but to scare the hell out of you and put you off teenage pregnancy... After those dim memories seeing a video of a fairly straightforward birth was a very positive experiance... Only real trauma involved for me was it was a german video and they all had mullets... (except the babies of course!)

Lawrene8 · 30/07/2007 14:17

IMO no you don't need to watch it. I did hypnobirthing too before my ds was born (don't mean to hijack) and we watched a couple of videos of birth which were amazing. But went to (NHS) antenal class and they tried to show one which was a sort of sream the place down Eastenders version!! I left as I was of the view that it doesn't have to be like that.

crokky · 30/07/2007 14:21

I don't think you need to watch it. The midwives/doctors will look after you.

Scampynoodle · 30/07/2007 14:39

If it helps I'm pregnant with my first and have no intention of watching any videos, ta very much. In my (hopefully not too ignorant) opinion watching one woman give birth is hardly prep for your own highly personal, life-changing experiences. I guess I'm worried that, like all the other madness that pregnant women are subjected to, it'll be even more pressure to behave in a particular way rather than the way that suits myself and my dh.

Surely every pregnancy and birth is different and the aim should be to be ready for whatever is thrown at you, rather than go into the delivery room picturing only the images that you've seen. Personally I'd rather keep an open mind about what to expect, while being ready for anything.

Now, I want to be well informed, read up on the stages of labour and all that it involves, ask bags of questons of my midwife and don't want to be shielded from the agonising facts. I've also heard enough birth stories to realise that the birth could take anything from 30 minutes of knotted eyebrows through to four days of chewing through my own legs. But whatever happens it'll be the experience of myself, my dh and the new arrival. I don't want that experience to be overshadowed by images that, essentially, bear no relevance to me.

God, does that sound ranty or what? You've clearly hit a nerve with me MrsMar. I didn't even know that I had a prob with this issue until I read your post!

RGPargy · 30/07/2007 14:47

I wouldn't watch it either! As scampy has said, all births/labours are different and the last thing you want on your mind is how some poor woman looked in a video and you being self conscious about how you look to those around you!

Seriously, i wouldn't bother.

harleyd · 30/07/2007 15:00

i could watch people giving birth all day, it totally amazes me.

lilylilyrose · 30/07/2007 16:58

My husband is rather squeamish, and has neve rseen anyone give birth. We've just finished watching a DVD of the 'Homegrown Babies' series from LivingTV, and he found it fascinating - lots of lovely calm gentle births, and a few screamy scary bloody ones too!

He says he's really glad he's seen them as he feels like he knows what to expect, and more importantly, what's normal.

Original poster

MrsMar · 30/07/2007 17:46

Scampy - a woman after my own heart!!! That's pretty much what I thought all along, but I wanted to canvass opinion just incase I was really missing out. I think I'd be quite interested in watching something like that after I've had my first, really because I've got something to compare it with, ie my own experience. Before I've had this baby, I think if I see something it's likely to colour my experience in some way, even if it's very subtle. Plus there's also the fear issue, no need to scare myself un-necessarily!

OP posts:

MadamePlatypus · 30/07/2007 18:19

I've had 2 and I agree with Scampy.

Loopymumsy · 30/07/2007 18:26

This reply has been deleted

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SweetyDarling · 30/07/2007 18:41

Watch the baby channel on Sky (at a friend's place if you don't have Sky). They show births all day long (slight exaggeration). Have watched lots - water, CS, on back on bed, home, etc etc and I certainly feel at least more aware.

mum2george · 31/07/2007 09:23

MrsMar, I didn't have any ante-natal classes or watch any videos with DS and I went on fine. Had a pretty good labour and coped on gas&air (just), but that was what I was expecting.

I think watching the videos are of benefit if you are the type of person who is denial about how painful it is going to be and how little control over the labour you will have on the day.

However, if you are educated about it, which you seem to be, and don't really want to watch it then I wouldn't personally. Every labour is different, and every woman copes differently.

The NCT have been giving away a free DVD of birth but I think they have made it so show that normal birth doesn't involve lots of people in the room, high drama, and green gowns etc. Normal birth is well, normal and the vision most people get from horror stories or the tv is warped so I think they just wanted to represent that it can be ok and to take some of the fear out of it.

If anybody wants a free copy of the DVD i think you have to email [email protected]

MuminBrum · 31/07/2007 09:29

Scampynoodle, I had almost seven days of chewing off my own legs. But enough scare stories! The only birth film I ever saw was the one they showed us at school - this was (in retrospect) pretty mild but had girls fainting all over the room. I can't see that watching a film is any help, but I don't think it would do any actual harm if you're curious to see real labour before you experience your own baby's birth.

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 31/07/2007 09:29

I think it depends on the kind of person you are. I couldn't get enough information when I was pregnant - really wanted to know and see as much as possible as I felt that that was the best preparation for me. I watched all the birth programmes on Living and Discovery, however; I had a lot of friends who were completely different. They felt that watching something like that might scare them or put them off. I guess you need to decide what kind of person you are.

Leati · 31/07/2007 09:46

My last pregnancy I was obsessed with them. They have several birthing shows on cable in the morning. I guess it depends on the person.

Hopeitwontbebig · 31/07/2007 12:14

I haven't done any antenatal classes this time, but when I was pregnant with DS1 I did watch a birth video at the classes and I really didn't see how it benefited me or anyone else in the group. All it seemed to do was strike the fear of god into all of us!!!

TheQueenOfQuotes · 31/07/2007 12:15

no need to look watch them - just have a look at the last picture on my profile.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 31/07/2007 12:17

ooops - sorry I forgot I've changed names - it's fannyannie profile you need to look at this should work

expatinscotland · 31/07/2007 12:19

I never even saw myself giving birth and have no desire to see someone else do it.

mixedmama · 31/07/2007 12:50

I was completely obsessed with watching "real births" with DS, cried everytime but carried on watching. Having said that i dont really feel it prepared me, or scared me.

If you do want to watch then I would suggest the programmes on Discovery Home and Health as they have lots of different types of births (CS, water etc) with people from all walks of life. Some also deal with post natal aspects. The video i saw at ante natal classes was not really very good tho.

I think if you are worried what kind of effect the video may have perhaps dont bother, i dont think it serves any real purpose other than to see you are not the only one.

Perhaps you could borrow it and if you feel it is too much, effecting you badly etc then turn it off and give it back.

mixedmama · 31/07/2007 12:57

Queenofquotes - that is really cool i think. my dh wanted to video ds birth but i wouldnt let him (just for us of course) but i kind of regret it a little altho he wont be videoing this one either. very brave of you to post tho.

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