When to tell the parents?

[nicannie]

My question is simple... when did everyone tell their parents and in-laws about their pregnancy?

I'm 8 weeks with my first, this will be my in-laws first grandchild and I know they have been waiting patiently for this day to come. They are in their 60s and will be very excited. My parents have 2 grandchildren from my sister, they will be excited as I'm the baby of the family I was wondering when everyone else told their parents just being nosey!

I told my parents a couple of days after I found out.
I figured that if the worst were to happen, I’d need my mum.
Everyone else (except for my closest friend and my husband) got told after the 12 week scans.

Congratulations

We told ours after the 12 week scan. It was the first grandchild for both sides. I was paranoid about saying before then and then having to say actually it didnt work out. It was so hard not saying anything but glad we waited.

12 week scan here, too.
I told my grandma over the phone, making sure my parents were there with hankies for her! (I live abroad). Again, at 3 months.
I have a lot of friend who had miscarriages, do I was adamant we'd keep quiet until the first scan.

We told my husbands parents about 20 mins after we took the test! They live abroad and this is a very patiently waited for first grandchild for them. My husbands family is very close so we couldn’t have kept a secret from them.

We told my parents and brother the next day as we had a late Christmas gathering already planned and they would have clocked me not drinking.

We are telling ours at 7/8 weeks, we see often so I'd rather tell them than they guess ☺️

I’m currently 17weeks and still haven't told work, a single friend or family member. Plan to do it next week after 18 week scan, it will be a huge weight of my shoulders. Xxx

I told my family a few days after i found out. In laws about 3 weeks after we found out. (DHs decision, I would have happily told them at the same time)

Obviously everyone is entitled to do whatever they want but for those of you saying you wouldn't tell family until 12 weeks incase anything happened, wouldn't you want family support if you had a miscarriage? Genuine question.

I hear what your saying. But I'm quite a private person and my DH supports me through a lot that I haven't told my parents about. And I mean, I'm close with my mum! But some things I'd rather not trouble her with....

I think I'll wait for 12 weeks to tell both in laws and my parents.

When did everyone else tell their boss at work? I'm a secretary, and it's going to a difficult one for my boss to swallow since he depends on me for so much. I'm genuinely worried for telling him lol

When I got the ball rolling with appointments I told my parents, so a couple of weeks after I found out.

My in laws found out straight away as I was on the phone to my best friend as my DH was on the phone to his mum.

I told work after my 12w scan, my employer loves babies and was hugging me. I expected them to be in full logistics mode and they were not, just wanted me to be happy which is lovely

I wouldn't want family support with a miscarriage. Especially from my inlaws. They're over bearing and would be on my case. I prefer to grieve privately. I might tell my parents depending on how late the miscarriage was.

I told at 12 weeks. I'm impressed with the PP hiding it at 17 weeks.... I'm 18 weeks and look very pregnant!

Strangely I told work vv early, about 8 weeks. Mainly as I needed to leave the classroom to puke a lot!

First pregnancy told my parents at 6 weeks and in laws at 8 weeks as that is when we first saw them. Second time round and I'm 16 weeks and still not told them for different reasons. Telling them next week...not sure if they'll be surprised or shocked as we only saw them 3 weeks ago and now my bump is huge 😬

8 weeks, once we'd seen the HB on an early scan.

Like hearing all the diff stories and experiences.

I wanted to tell them at 12 weeks when I have a scan picture to show give them along with the good news, however, my first midwife (booking in app) isn't until I'm 13 weeks 3 days?! Which I find ridiculous. As when will my scan be if this is my first app??

@nicannie we wanted to be sure everything was looking ok as had an early miscarriage the previous cycle so we're having a scan on Tuesday before telling the parents it will be a blob in the photo but rather give them that than a pee stick 😂 more for our peace of mind ☺️

It will depend on how your hospital send appts. With my first I had my scan (12 wks) before my booking appt and they said it was unusual but that's how the appts were sent out. How do you get your 12 week scan appt? Is it automatic or do you have to book? Might just be worthwhile giving them a quick call x

@strawbmilk from what I understand I had to make my booking in first app with the midwife down at my local GP which I have done and I'll be over 13 weeks by then - and after that they book me in for my scan??

I'd definitely ring the hospital maternity unit directly. If you're scanned too late they can't do all of the checks. How come your gp midwives can't book you in until then? That's a long wait.

They told me that's the earliest they could see me. I kind of questioned it and asked if there was anything I could do as an alternative she said 'not really' and I was like ok well that will take me over 13 weeks and the receptionists reply was 'shall I just book you in for then then?' So I am kind of let down by that

Waited for 12 week scan with both. If something went wrong I couldn’t stand the thought of the expectation of when I would be pregnant again. I think they were all surprised I finally decided to have kids!

I told parents and in laws on the same day. I was only 6 weeks but had started being sick so couldn't really hide it.
I let them know that it was a secret and we would tell rest of family after 12 week scan.
I think it's up to you when you want to let people know but I would recommend telling both sets of grandparents at the same time

My sister knew from when I took the test as it was such a faint line I facetime her to see. Parents (both sides) we told a week later so about 4 weeks. I told my closest work colleague around the same time and our immediate team at 6 weeks because a level of risk assessment for my role needed to be considered and I work with health professionals anyway so someone would have clicked (plus I threw up in the work toilets and people heard!). the wider team I told at 12 weeks after my scan.

I was worried about telling people early but also only told those I would need support from should anything have gone wrong. In fairness i did have a scan at 6 weeks so we had seen a heartbeat and whilst i know this isnt a guarantee that will is fine it was an extra reassurance.

We've told both parents and some immediate family as they were visiting from abroad and it was nice to tell them face to face. Had an early scan and seen a heartbeat but will be telling everyone else after the 12 week scan.
I was able to self refer to the local maternity unit and the booking appointment took place at the hospital with the midwife attached to my gp. As PPs have suggested it would be worth giving the community team a call on Monday. Good luck!

1st baby I face timed my DM and DF after taking the test and with 2nd a few days after ☺️

I told my mum and nan as soon as I took the test, everyone else after the 12 weeks scan.