Worried about tears, stitches, cuts, etc.

[HayleyHaystack]

I’m approaching 40 weeks (first baby) and as things are becoming more real I’m starting to get very worried about tearing, needing stitches and the prospect of needing an episiotomy. I’ve done a hypno course which was brilliant and I can start to process these worries and understand them, I am still left with the regular thoughts.
I would really appreciate any positive experiences of the above, and also tried and tested recovery tips as knowing what to do afterwards would definitely ease anxiety with it. Thanks in advance

I had an epidural so felt absolutely nothing of the cut. I felt the stitches going in a little afterwards but it didn't hurt and I was too busy with DS to care. The stitches/scar were sometimes painful afterwards but it kind of came in waves, so was painful for an hour or so then eased off. I had less of baths with tea tree oil in and sat on some frozen wet flannels and it didn't take too long to feel like normal again.

Good luck!

I tore with my second (shoulder dystopia + ventouse delivery) honestly didn't even know that it had happened until afterwards. They gave me a couple of stitches and I forgot about it!

Oh meant to add, I'd no pain relief either.

I was really worried about this too but actually in the event it was no big deal. I had an episiotomy with DC1 and a small tear with DC2. Both healed easily and weren’t sore.

The episiotomy was necessary to get DC1 out as she was in distress so absolutely no regrets there. The tear was due to DC2 being born so quickly and I’d take a quick labour and a small tear any day over a long labour and no tear!

Bear in mind the ones you hear about will be the worst ones since people tend not to mention or post about the “no big deal” ones.

Hi, I had an episiotomy, although due to requiring forceps (I ended up with spinal as if forceps didn't work they'd go straight in for section) so I didn't feel the cut happen/didn't know cause I don't remember anyone telling me they were going to do it 😳. After the spinal wore off I literally just felt really really swollen down there and to wash the area was quite painful and could feel t was swollen. I also found that I became very sensitive and had to get pH neutral shower gel as normal stuff was making me sting so badly! Although I'm sure won't happen to everyone. Just a heads up to be prepared if it does. In general just sitting down and standing was not hard but painful. So just take it easy I had to make a conscious effort to sit as far back on my bottom as possible for it to not take the full brunt of sitting down if that makes sense.
To open you're bowels may be quite painful too especially if your not particularly hydrated and therefore making your stool hard! I was offered more laxatives to make this easier, if it's not offered definitely ask if you feel you need to though. There's nothing worse than trying to have a poo and sat there crying cause it hurts! x

I had a spinal and was prepped for a c section but they gave forceps a go.... I had an epistomey and it wasn’t bad at all to be honest. I was sown up in theatre by a consultant and my stitches were fine.

I had a catheter in for about 3 hours but asked for it to be out once I could move around, I then showered.

Went home next day and bumps in the car were tender but my stitches were fine. I’m an active person so was up and about straight away, hoovering and tidying up and sorting DS out.
Going to the toilet was fine... don’t be tempted to look at the stitches though- I looked with a mirror (cos of the angle) but wish I hadn’t as my poor foof was so bruised 🙈😂

I also formula fed so took ibropfun so that helped a lot.

I tore during birth with DS, was on gas and air and remember thinking at the time "ive torn" but don't remember feeling it.

I'd recommend not doing anything for a week. I was up and about after 3 days and really regret it (went into town to do some Christmas shopping) and I'm pretty certain doing so caused me to take longer to heal.

Thick thick pads for the bleeding. I know several women recommended to me to freeze some with aloe Vera on them but I didn't do so as it was December and didn't want a cold nether region.

Also make sure you have soft tissue paper. Nothing worse than dabbing/wiping with toilet roll that's coarse and hard. shudders

Oh, and drink plenty. That was your urine is diluted and won't sting anywhere near as much, if at all.

I was terrified of tearing/being cut before I was pregnant. I ended up with a second degree tear with quite a lot of stitches but it was nowhere near as awful as I’d worried about. I suspected I may have torn as I had to get my little one out quite quickly but I didn’t actually feel it. Being stitched was uncomfortable but manageable with gas and air and was done by the midwife.

My stitches healed really well and I was nowhere near as uncomfortable as I’d imagined I would be. The best tip I was given was to hold a maternity pad against the stitches/perineum when needing a poo. It makes you feel much more confident that everything is held together and that your insides aren’t going to fall out. Also, I was told to fill a bottle with water and pour/squeeze the water over the area while you wee to stop it stinging. 9 months on and you really wouldn’t know.

Had a third degree tear and honestly didn't know it had happened. I must have been numb down there! Got stitched up in surgery and didn't need any painkillers after the first dose of ibuprofen although they offered me the hardcore stuff. Undercarriage was sore for a good couple of months (and don't even think about sex for at least half a year!) but it DOES get better.

Are you doing / have you been doing your perenium massage op? If not it's never too late to start. Olive oil will do and is much cheaper than special 'perenium massage oil'.

I had a straightforward labour and delivery with my ds who is now 10 months and personally found being in the birthing pool massively helped ease the pain of the baby actually coming out.

I had a second degree tear which I had no idea I had until I was told.

The stitches were completely fine. They numb the area and I distracted myself throughout the procedure by charging to the lovely student midwife about the perfect cup of tea! Also staring at my fiancé and son was amazing and made me almost forget the stitches were being done!

The recovery was harder than I'd expected but there's preparation you can do to minimise the pain e.g. stocking up on baggy comfy clothes. Lots of good YouTube videos on this.

My 2 top postpartum recovery tips:

Buy a sports cap bottle of lucazade to drink during labour. Save the bottle afterwards, rinse it and keep it by the toilet. Use it to pour luke warm water on your bits as you wee. This really helped me for the first ten days or so!

Have 'stations' dotted around the house with useful things in. I had a box by the sofa with stuff like hair bands, deodorant, snacks etc. Bedside table - snacks and painkillers aplenty! Toilet- empty bottle (see previous tip!), 'intimate area wipes' bought from boots and used instead of loo roll in the early days, thick maternity pads and nappy sacks for used ones.

Good luck, you'll be fine

I too had a forceps delivery with a spinal so didn't feel the episiotomy cut. I believe thru may have also used a painkiller suppository but I'm not absolutely sure on that one. I had no pain from the episiotomy itself, infact when I was on the ward I even asked the midwife, wasn't it supposed to hurt?! As I just didn't feel anything. The next few days I did feel bruised and swollen but I just assumed that's how I would have felt having given birth anyway. I had no issues with stitches or healing. I was given lactulose to take to help with my first bowel movement but I must be quite sensitive as even the tiniest amount just sent food straight through me, so I did stop taking that in the end.
I healed quickly and returned back to normal, just a scar that's hardly noticeable.

I've had two births without pain relief and I've never torn or had stitches didn't realise it was so common to tear?

I've torn,had an episiotomy and forcep delivery with my last 3 Labour's but hasn't stopped us from going again with a 4th lol I think I was one of the lucky ones and didn't really feel any pain down below but I think I was on an all time high with adrenalin....it's surprising how quick your body can recover and you focus all on looking after baby....good luck and enjoy your 1st baby X

Thank you to everyone who has commented, really appreciate your stories - I already feel better.

@firstimemamma I’ve been meaning to start the massage so I think I will tomorrow now you’ve said it. Your tips are brilliant, thank you!

@SparklesandFlowers frozen flannels sound incredible. I’ll definitely do that!

@minipie this is exactly it. I’ve only heard absolute horror stories. Nobody mentions the minor ones!

1st baby - epidural + episiotomy. Was a blessed relief to be honest! Didn't feel a thing and healed perfectly well afterwards.

2nd baby - no pain relief + 2nd degree tear. Again, didn't feel a thing. Lots of people say that crowning is the worst pain but I can say completely truthfully that I just didn't feel it. Didn't know I'd torn until the midwives were stitching me, and again I didn't feel it. They did give me pain killers via suppository though which was rather undignified

Honestly - none of it will matter. All you'll care about is your baby. Afterwards is sore but you'd be sore anyway. Lavender oil + witch hazel in your bath is great, as are Tucks pads.

I think it’s all so individual. I’ve seen people say they barely felt their epidural / spinal going in while mine was really awful - don’t think I can have another child in case I need another one.

I think the issue is that you’re imagining it happening to you right now, when you don’t have the hormones, pain relief etc, and the distraction of a brand new baby.

I had an episiotomy and tore a bit and my stitching required more gas and air than labour. BUT we all live to tell the tale and there are plenty of things to help. Don't leave the house without something squashy that you can tolerate sitting on. I made this mistake and had to endure a lunch date on a hard chair and ended up perching on the edge in agony for the whole thing!! Another tip is to keep WELL hydrated because concentrated wee is horrendously sting-y.

Without wishing to give you something else to worry about, the contractions are actually the most painful bit of labour.

By the time it comes to the crowing/cutting/tearing part you just want the contractions to be over, so you just don't care or feel what happens. Plus once you are actually crowning they tend to be a bit more generous with the pain relief than they are when you are 'just' having contractions.

There are lots and lots of minor ones! Promise.

My own tip: get some arnica tablets and start taking them asap after birth.

Try not to worry about it. I’ve torn twice and it really wasn’t a big deal.

DD I had a second degree tear, epidural so didn’t feel the tear or the stitching.

DS another second degree tear, this time “complicated” so had to be sewn up by the consultant. Have birth with gas and air and didn’t feel crowning or the tear. Had local anaesthetic and G&A (at my request!) for stitching. Again, didn’t feel a thing - apart from humiliation at the frosty reception my entonox-induced jokes got from the consultant.

I was terrified of tearing and ended up having quite a serious tear and in all honesty it wasn't that bad.

I didn't feel it at the time I only felt what I can describe as pressure as if someone was pressing on the inside of my bum. I had a spinal block when they stitched me up so that didn't hurt and they sent me home with way more codeine than I got for any of my subsequent c-sections.

I'm a massive coward so after that was really nervous about first wee, first poo, first shower etc and none of those things were as bad as I'd built them up to be in my own head.

Basically I'm shit with pain and I didn't think it was that bad (but I did make full use of the codeine)!

@HayleyHaystack you're welcome. Enjoy the newborn snuggles!

I was terrified of tears before my first.
In the end I had an episiotomy with her - they gave me an injection of local anaesthetic first so I didn’t feel anything. Afterwards it did hurt for a few weeks, but bearably, and it healed well.
My second I had a second degree tear - no pain relief and I didn’t feel it happen (obviously everything hurt when he was coming out!! But there was nothing that was specifically ‘tear’). Was stitched up with local and gas and air, and genuinely was never bothered by it again - couldn’t believe how easily that healed. So I’d take a natural tear over episiotomy, but honestly neither were as awful as I feared.