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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant not sure of the father...

73 replies

elsielake · 12/06/2019 19:27

In desperate need of help. Split with cheating ex on May 25th, that was the last time we had sex. As I didn't know he was a cheat at the time we weren't using anything as we wanted another baby. Fast forward to June 2nd I was really stupid and got really drunk and slept with a friend (never ever have one night stands so this is unlike me) Yesterday found out I'm pregnant with a fairly strong but totally confused as to who's it is and don't want to tell either of them. What are the chances of it being the friend if we slept together on the 2nd and I got a digital positive on the 11th? Help.

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:37

You also dont have to continue with pregnancy particularly if it will make your life very difficult with your ex.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:37

Oh I’m sorry for the quadruple post! It was showing as not posting.

Original poster
elsielake · 12/06/2019 20:38

My periods are usually bang on 28 days. Ironically I booked to have coil yesterday before finding out. Yesterday conception indicator said 1-2 weeks which wasn't really much help. Suppose doesn't matter either way how much I try work it out. I will need a dna test

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:39

Oh I’m sorry for the quadruple post! It was showing as not posting.

Original poster
elsielake · 12/06/2019 20:39

Think Mumsnet has gone a bit mad! Tonnes of multiple posts. But yes I do have good relationship with friend he's very lovely. Is that possible while pregnant?

OP posts:
HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 12/06/2019 20:39

How many days is your monthly cycle usually? Do you have any idea when you usually ovulate?

It looks like your slept with ex on day 11 and 12 and ex on day 16. If you have a 'standard' 28 day cycle and ovulate midway, so around day 14 (although this massively varies between women), it could be either man. If day 14 ovulation the friend would be less likely as the egg usually passes within 24 hours, but even if you do have a 28 day cycle not all women ovulate on day 14, so unless you were carefully tracking ovulation it would be impossible to say.

In any case if you had sex with two men in the relevant cycle I personally think you should seek DNA testing after birth for certainty for the child and man.

NeverPutAWetFootInABirkenstock · 12/06/2019 20:39

I don’t understand the photo, what do the circles signify and what are the underlined dates?

NeverPutAWetFootInABirkenstock · 12/06/2019 20:40

I don’t understand the photo, what do the circles signify and what are the underlined dates?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:40

Oh I’m sorry for the quadruple post! It was showing as not posting.

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:40

If you have a good relationship with your friend, you could ask him to do the dna test. If it comes back negative you have an answer. Ex may still ask for a dna test later if it happens he’s the father.

Talk to someone you trust in real life though. This is hard to deal with on top of being pregnant. Don’t keep it to yourself x

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 12/06/2019 20:40

How many days is your monthly cycle usually? Do you have any idea when you usually ovulate?

It looks like your slept with ex on day 11 and 12 and ex on day 16. If you have a 'standard' 28 day cycle and ovulate midway, so around day 14 (although this massively varies between women), it could be either man. If day 14 ovulation the friend would be less likely as the egg usually passes within 24 hours, but even if you do have a 28 day cycle not all women ovulate on day 14, so unless you were carefully tracking ovulation it would be impossible to say.

In any case if you had sex with two men in the relevant cycle I personally think you should seek DNA testing after birth for certainty for the child and man.

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:40

If you have a good relationship with your friend, you could ask him to do the dna test. If it comes back negative you have an answer. Ex may still ask for a dna test later if it happens he’s the father.

Talk to someone you trust in real life though. This is hard to deal with on top of being pregnant. Don’t keep it to yourself x

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:40

If you have a good relationship with your friend, you could ask him to do the dna test. If it comes back negative you have an answer. Ex may still ask for a dna test later if it happens he’s the father.

Talk to someone you trust in real life though. This is hard to deal with on top of being pregnant. Don’t keep it to yourself

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:40

If you have a good relationship with your friend, you could ask him to do the dna test. If it comes back negative you have an answer. Ex may still ask for a dna test later if it happens he’s the father.

Talk to someone you trust in real life though. This is hard to deal with on top of being pregnant. Don’t keep it to yourself x

arisfurwi · 12/06/2019 20:40

The circles with dots round are peak ovulation and underlined in red is period. The ones I have circled is days I had sex

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:40

If you have a good relationship with your friend, you could ask him to do the dna test. If it comes back negative you have an answer. Ex may still ask for a dna test later if it happens he’s the father.

Talk to someone you trust in real life though. This is hard to deal with on top of being pregnant. Don’t keep it to yourself

CroissantwithCheese · 12/06/2019 20:41

Sorry for all the posts! My WiFi or the site is a bit glitchy

Strawberrypancakes · 12/06/2019 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotStayingIn · 12/06/2019 20:44

Oh that is tricky as surely you will never know for sure until you do a DNA test?

I might be reading this wrong but you seem to assume that both will be fine about it? If I was the friend I would be gutted, sorry. And if I was the ex I also wouldn’t be over the moon; yes we might have one child together, but that doesn’t mean I would want another, given that we have broken up. Sorry you are in this difficult position.

NotStayingIn · 12/06/2019 20:45

Oh that is tricky as surely you will never know for sure until you do a DNA test?

I might be reading this wrong but you seem to assume that both will be fine about it? If I was the friend I would be gutted, sorry. And if I was the ex I also wouldn’t be over the moon; yes we might have one child together, but that doesn’t mean I would want another, given that we have broken up. Sorry you are in this difficult position.

Bluerussian · 12/06/2019 20:47

Why are you continuing a pregnancy when you don't know who the father is? You're only just pregnant, a medical termination would be easy. Just make sure it doesn't happen again.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:47

For flip sake. @MNHQ the first 20:37 post definitely said exactly the same as the second. What is going on? I’ve seen this happening on other threads tonight too.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/06/2019 20:48

For flip sake. @MNHQ the first 20:37 post definitely said exactly the same as the second. What is going on? I’ve seen this happening on other threads tonight too.

happytobemrsg · 12/06/2019 20:51

I think it’s too close to tell. I ovulated super early on day 9 (usually day 15) & I’m currently pregnant. You’ll need a DNA test

Original poster
elsielake · 12/06/2019 21:29

Yes I'm aware it isn't the best situation but termination isn't the only option for crying out loud. I will definitely have a dna test if I continue this pregnancy. Never thought I would find myself in this position

OP posts:
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