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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Interfering mother in law

44 replies

gemma20 · 10/06/2019 20:10

So Saturday .. my mother in law put a piece of paper in front of me.. to which was a piece of paper she has printed of the internet... about " shared custody " I'm 38 weeks pregnant. With my first.

Anyhow... she put this paper in front of me.. telling me to sign it... for 50/50.

I refused to sign it and passed it back. Telling her no.

Am I over reaction on this..

I think that's absolutely disgusting.
Who does she think she is trying to decide custody decisions.

I'm in a relationship with the father. But don't live with him, as he asked me to leave his mums house when I was 25 weeks pregnant.. leaving me homeless..

Can I have someone advice on this? I'm feeling very hurt by all this.

OP posts:
hormonesorDHbeingadick · 10/06/2019 20:13

I would not see her again. Where was your ‘d’p durring this?

Explain a bit more about the moving out please. You were living with your partner at his Mum’s house and he asked you to move out. Why? Was it his decision or her decision?

Bambamber · 10/06/2019 20:14

Ignore her, it's absolutely none of her business what arrangement you come to with the father of your baby. Sounds like a lot of issues going on, do you have much support?

Hanab · 10/06/2019 20:15

Ignore her .. she has no rights

Contraceptionismyfriend · 10/06/2019 20:15

I'd text her telling her that you do not wish to ever hear or see from her again. That any contact regarding your child needs to be arranged by her son. You will only communicate with your partner and not her.
Then block her number!!

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 10/06/2019 20:15

She sounds unhinged what’s the backstory?

Hiphopopotamous · 10/06/2019 20:16

Why is he still your DP if he made you homeless? Can't see how anything you sign can be legally binding in any way, but I'd not see her again.

Original poster
gemma20 · 10/06/2019 20:17

At 25 weeks pregnant he told his mum he didn't want to be with me or live with me anymore, I had no choice but to accept that. I don't know why he felt like that. So I left. I got my dad to pick me up with all my stuff, the council put me in emergency accommodation... to which while I was there my baby's dad was messaging other girls behind my back (sending pictures of big penis to them may I add) I was heart broken! Anyhow council put me into my temporary accommodation. Which I'm in now still. I see the father to my child, as I said we are together again ( don't think for long) but I honestly don't know why his mum did this?

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 10/06/2019 20:17

50/50 between you and DP or between you and her?

If it's between you and her, feel free to laugh in her face.

If it's between you and your DP, tell her you'll arrange how custody will be handled between the two of you, without her involvement.

And quite frankly, when the baby's a newborn 50/50 is not even vaguely possible so she really needs to get in her box.

what does your DP say (and why are you together if he made you homeless while you were pregnant?)

Original poster
gemma20 · 10/06/2019 20:18

When I told my partner on Saturday that she did this.. he replied to it with " I'm not taking sides with my mum"

OP posts:
dillusionaldog · 10/06/2019 20:35

while I was there my baby's dad was messaging other girls behind my back (sending pictures of big penis to them may I add) I was heart broken!

did you mean to say big penis?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 10/06/2019 20:36

How old are you? Not an insult but you come across as fairly young. And I'm worried they're taking advantage of you and that this will only escalate when you've delivered.

Original poster
gemma20 · 10/06/2019 20:49

I didn't mean big no sorry. And I'm 20 years old, very confused and scared she's going to take control over my child. Because baby's dad always goes with what his mum says. I'm scared about having the baby and what will happen when he's here.

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 10/06/2019 20:56

She will not get control of your child if you don't let her.

Please reconsider your relationship with these people, making a woman homeless at 25 weeks pregnant is unforgivable.

Hanab · 10/06/2019 20:58

Hmmm
It would seem she probably encouraged him to get back together with you and then try to get you to sign all sorts of things ..
I honestly see him going on his merry way once baby is here or if you decide to challenge his mom ..

Protect yourself and your child! Many people on here have said do not put his name of the birth certificate .. that buys you a little time to suss his intentions ...

I say again ..
He is playing you in my humble opinion 🌷

Contraceptionismyfriend · 10/06/2019 20:59

You need to break up with him. You do not have to involve him in your pregnancy. I'd send him a message and say you won't make him choose and you will notify him of the birth of the child. Then block him.

When you have the baby and feel up to it send him one message saying the baby is born, name, DOB etc and ask him when he would like to come alone. You do not have to allow his mother near either of you.

Dillydallyingthrough · 10/06/2019 21:09

OP could you get support from someone? Your parents, siblings, friends? Anyone?

I'm sorry but your OH and his mom sound as if they are using your vulnerability against you. Please leave your DP and cut contact with his mother. You really need someone to help build your self esteem and confidence to stand up for yourself.

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/06/2019 21:13

Move away now if you can.

If you can't finish with your partner and make sure breastfeed your baby. He has no rights to be at the birth.

If you stay with this man his mother will always be in your life.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 10/06/2019 21:14

He got his Mum to break up with you, he made you homeless 25 weeks pregnant, he was cheating on when you were pregnant and you don’t trust him. This is not a good relationship.

Bobbiepin · 10/06/2019 21:18

Please don't put him on the birth certificate!

Queenoftheashes · 10/06/2019 21:20

My god you poor thing. What he did to you and his baby was disgusting and unforgivable. The mum doesn’t sound any better. My advice would be to have as little to do with them as possible.

Original poster
gemma20 · 10/06/2019 21:23

I've told him he's not going on the birth certificate and he told me if I didn't put him on it, he would make my life hell. I took I notice of his comment. I want to protect my baby. His mum also mentioned about not being at the birth, and how it isn't far my mum will be there with me, and how it's unfair on baby's dads mum not being there, and I don't think about what he wants. I've been left to feel uncomfortable and confused

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 10/06/2019 21:37

Birth is hard, emotional and fairly naked. He has no right to see that now. Move away if you can.

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 10/06/2019 22:13

She wants to be at your birth? No fucking way! I’d block them both, do have anyone to talk this through with? Other family or close friends?
Big hugs, don’t let this woman bully you

EileenAlanna · 11/06/2019 02:16

If at all possible have your father at the hospital when you're giving birth & ask him to keep your ex (because that's what he is) & his mother well away from you. If you have any big burly brothers/friends see if they can turn up too. That should let him see that his chances of making your life hell are zero.
Tell the hospital that you're not married to the baby's father & that the registrar will be dealing with you only regarding the birth certificate. Don't put his name on it.
If/when you get permanent housing think very long & very hard about letting him know where you're moving to, then decide not to.
Good luck with everything Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 11/06/2019 02:20

Get rid of both of them. Dump the loser and never speak to his lunatic mother again. She has NO control over you. Don't give her any.

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