What they don't tell you about pregnancy

[Lilys19]

They don't tell you that your partner/husband won't understand how difficult it is physically and mentally about carrying something inside you so precious.

They don't tell you, that you will feel like a mad women and just be told it's your hormones. They don't tell you that every argument will be because your being irrational because of your hormones.

They don't tell you it's a 9 month sentence until you finally know if you have given birth to a healthy baby.

They don't tell you that your partner/ husbands will never understand the process and it will make you feel so incredibly lonely you question if it's all worth it.

They don't tell you that life long wish of a baby and pregnancy will be the hardest battle you ever face.

And that you get a black swollen vagina 😬

And then you bleed for weeks and have the terrifying job of taking care of a tiny human while feeling like shit. And your partner still won't get it as you are the last line of responsibility for the tiny human and he hands it back to you rove responsible for feeding it to keep it alive.

Stretching pains!!! I know more than average about pregnancy and birth but I had no idea about those bloody worrying things

That your pelvis will fall apart and you will not be able to move. And that it doesn't entirely end once baby arrives.

That labour will last three and a half days.

That you will be eternally grateful for becoming pregnant at all after infertility, but still complain and resent having so much pain during pregnancy.

That it's all up to you to take care of the baby, despite having been split in two.

That your vagina won't be the same and you'll never want to have sex ever again (despite still fancying your husband).

No one told me that I would be scared every single day in case I hurt my babies unintentionally

No one told me that you lose all autonomy with consultant and are completely at their mercy - I have no say in my care plan and can only trust they know best

That you'll feel like absolute shit for weeks on end, then you'll have a few days of feeling normal before a new round of symptoms makes you feel like absolute shit again.

That some people will either ignore you and the fact you're pregnant completely, and some people will only talk to you about babies and pregnancy. Some people, however, will be utterly supportive and won't mind you saying you were running late this morning because you were really constipated.

That you'll feel too tired/shit to do your job to the standard you normally do. You'll feel guilty for this but then also guilty if you don't rest.

That you have periods where you feel absolutely elated to be pregnant followed by a sense of panic and despair, particularly when walking through the John Lewis baby department and looking at the price of prams and baby monitors.

That when you hear certain songs, it makes you think of your little human inside you and how much you love them already. You have a little special, secret bond already. That thinking about that will make you cry, regardless of where you are or what you're doing. You'll cry a lot.

@lucymegan OMG not looking forward to that! Haha

Lol. Oh dear. I haven't got any of the original posters misery but my issues would be.
No one tells you that all you will want to do is eat but for the first 14 weeks you will barely be able to do a number 2 so end up horrendously bloated until week 14 when your digestive system starts to work again and you every morning evacuating 3 months worth of food or so it feels.
My tummy is now flat again though!

No one also tells you that you will constantly burp and fart but want sex all the time.
My husband and I have always had sex once a day but now it's going on 3 to 4 and he's looking vaguely frightened of me.

That dissolvable stitches don't just dissolve like dissolvable tablets etc. I thought they were just going to disappear

Wow, most of this is SO moany and negative. Can’t relate to anything except what @MrsHormonal2019 has said

Acne

Tena

Hyperemesis

Just because you apparently only need a few extra calories in third trimester doesn’t mean you won’t become incredibly hungry throughout pregnancy. Hello huge weight gain.

One sort of perk is rediscovery giggling episodes. I don’t know what it is about pregnancy hormones, but in all pregnancies I’ve had moments where something innocuous has had me laughing for five minutes and steaming with tears. It’s less of a perk when it happens at work though... (and you look like you might be having some sort of breakdown...).

OP I've had three children and i don't recognise anything in your OP (or anything much on the thread).

Do you think you're a bit depressed or anxious?

Everybody has different experiences op.

Just because someone's are different from yours doesn't indicate mental health problems!

Are you always good sympathetic 😂😂😂

I had no idea that the first trimester would be so awful, which is handily when no one can tell that you're pregnant. And that even for people who know you are, they find it hard to understand so you can feel so crap when you haven't got a big baby bump to see.

MenuPlant
I agree. I thought it took until later for things to kick in and given that this is a miracle baby we aren't telling anyone until 12 weeks.

I also thought you'd 'just know' what you want to eat, but my current position is trial and error and being suitably uninspired by anything.

And that you get a black swollen vagina

A what?

Swelling. They don’t tell you about that. I’m sure my fanny was smaller when I was pg with ds.

That your boobs can leak before you’ve had the baby (something I’ve found out this week...)

Nosebleeds (as above).

That sometimes it feels like the baby is actually going to punch its way out

That you’re so lucky to be able to do this magic person growing thing when you consider that so many people struggle. And are even luckier to be able to do it again (even though the age gap is smaller than you would have liked because the pill and your body betrayed you...!)

That it’s a great excuse to stay home and clean the house avoid going to pils and nap instead

The amount of joy. So so much joy. Coupled with exhaustion after baby arrives and hormone changes and body aches. But joy. So much.

Lily, are you currently pregnant? You sound as if you may be in danger of low mood/antenatal depression. I know lots of people have tough pregnancies but you sound as if anxiety around your baby’s health and the understandable magnitude of carrying a new life is overwhelming you. I had antenatal depression, for different reasons, with my first. Please see your GP if you are struggling. Best wishes and hopes for things easing.

@Holiday16 @RubberTreePlant yep nearly had a heat attack when I first saw it. Had to google if it was normal 🙈

Nobody told me that it doesn't matter how much you want the baby, how badly you wanted to get pregnant. That you just wouldn't get excited. The sheer amount of people who have said to me "I don't understand why you're not excited, you wanted this" so many people I would love to punch! I am excited now, and I only have 7 weeks left.

How guilty I would feel, the guilt, omg and the not being able to forgive my stupid stupid mistakes simply because I'm suffering from brain fog and concentration is so fucking hard sometimes!!

The gas oh my god the gas I don't even remember this with my other two but the constant blowing off it's embarrassing I ran for a bus the other day and I was popping of with every footstep how embarrassing

The hemmoroids post partum!

I enjoyed being pregnant, apart from the heartburn towards the end. It's actually looking after and raising a child that's slowly killing me