Did you take your current child to first scan??

[Summersun8383]

Hi just got my scan date through and had it in my head that I wanted my DS to come with us so we make sure he's involved the whole way but the letter says they don't advise children to come. He's very well behaved and would just sit while she did it so he wouldn't distract her but don't want to get into trouble for taking him lol! Has anyone else taken their child to the first scan?

I am slightly baffled by the posters who are saying that they had no-one to care for their older DC so they and their partner brought them. At both of the hospitals where I've had antenatal care you would be expected to go into the scan on your own while your DP waited outside with your DC. It's far from ideal but the only people who genuinely have no option in that circumstance are single parents.

(or parents with a partner who works shifts / away etc)

I'll need to tell my mum before I want to as I'll need her to take dd while I go for my scan. As I doubt they'll let dd in and I dont want to go in alone.

I would GrandTheftWalrus, if you want her to go with you. Could you ask a friend otherwise?

Wait i misread that. You'll ask your mum to take your dd, and get someone else with you? When i had my early scan before telling, i said it was a random hospital appointment, no details. Go for that and tell her you'll chat about it after.

Ended up taking DD to a fair few of my scans. Managed to get childcare for 12 week scan, none available for 20 week, they let her come in with DH - was prepared for him to wait with her.

Growth scans at 28, 32 and 36 got changed last minute so of course couldn't fix the childcare situation. Also ended up taking her for serenity bloods following high risk combined test as all very last minute. Managed to scramble something together for 38 wk scan at EPU following reduced movements.

She was also at the 38 week appointment where they decided to induce because, once again no childcare. Issue was that I work part time, had part time childcare and literally none of the appointments fell on a childcare day!

Would not want a child old enough to be aware of what was going on to be there though.

My daughter came with us to our 20week scan, it wasn’t planned that way but a last minute change to our appointment time meant we couldn’t find anyone to have her so we had no choice. She is 4.5yrs, the lady that did my scan turned out to be the same lady who scanned me when I was pregnant with my daughter 😊

Yeah I'll get my mum to take her so DP can come with me. I've just thought of an excuse, DP goes to the same hospital for his diabetes appointments so I can say it's something like that and she cant come.

That's if I get to my scan, only got a positive test today.

We had no choice as literally have no other childcare options on a non-nursery day. But DH stayed in the waiting room with DD until they found a heartbeat.

For the 20 week scan, we checked with the sonographer and DH stood with her by the door ready to take her out of she got distracting. The sonographer was quite happy, but I'd have stayed on my own otherwise.

I totally agree that it's not a fun family outing but we really had no choice.

I didn't take mine to the first scan but I did for the second. He said she looked like a little dinosaur 😂 (because of the bones). He was 3 at the time and it helped him realise that there was a real baby in there.

Oh it was NHS by the way.

Sounds like s good excuse GrandTheftWalrus. Good luck and congrats on your bfp

Thanks

Can't believe how many people seem to think NHS scans are so your partner can bond with the baby FFS 🙄
If you don't have childcare-either book an extra childcare session, move the scan appt or else tough shit your DP can look after the older one.
Are you also planning on having your older child present for labour-as this will be harder to plan in advance than an ultrasound scan!!

You deffo can’t in my NHS trust... I witnessed a women turn up with DC X 3, age range 7-3... no partner / husband. The kids had to wait in the waiting room under the watchful eye of the receptionist whilst mum went in for her scan.
It clearly states on the letter no kids allowed... on my scans that have fallen when DH is off work with dS4 then we go but they wait outside till scan is done. Kindly they’ve been let in at the end to see baby but that is the sonographers choice

I wouldn't. Either they are too young to know what's going on so it's pointless, or they are old enough to understand and be distressed if there is bad news. Either way, it's not something I would be happy with doing. Once the baby is a bit bigger, I might do a private scan (the 4D ones might be fun for a child who is old enough to go along to at around 28 weeks or so)

Yes it’s not just about if you get bad news - think of the other women who might see your child after having bad news themselves.
DH didn’t come to any of my NHS scans with my second child as he they are always in working hours. A friend looked after my son. We had a couple of private scans, so scheduled them for when DH could make it.

Extra childcare isn't always available, especially if there's a SAHM... our childminder can go over numbers for an emergency (e.g. labour/reduced movements) but not a routine scan. Unlikely any childcare setting would take a non registered child and sitters/childcare.co.uk not a thing in our area...

No local family and no non-working friends means very few options!

Yes because I had no childcare. I wasn't happy about it though. What if I'd had bad news? I literally had no choice, though.

In OUR area is key there, ours meaning 2 of you and only one of you actually needs to be in the room so the other is free to care for any older children.

You get plenty of notice for the routine scan appointments to arrange childcare and can rearrange if not convenient. It cannot be said enough that they are medical diagnostic appointments not a day out or bonding session- if you want that book a private scan.

The cases of a single parent with absolutely no option is so rare it's not an argument. There is nothing worse than being in that waiting room, stressed or worried, and an entire family wanders in with noisy kids and snacks.

@randomsabreuse then surely the father would look after the other child(ren)? They're entitled to 2 unpaid days off work to attend the scans. Obviously for a single parent, they really may have no other option.

We are in this situation with no family or childcare outside of nursery days so I attended my scans alone. DH waited in the hospital cafe with DC.

If you have a partner, then you have childcare.

(Rare cases of working away / overseas / on oil rigs or in inflexible shift patterns aside)

Having been somebody who has received bad news at a scan I definitely would not bring my other child. I only told my child about my pregnancy, I am now 4 months and will probably allow dc to a scan later on in pregnancy. They don't even need to know there is a scan they will probably be at school anyway. Also you have to be sensitive to others sitting in the waiting room as a previous poster has said. It's a very long 9 months for a child.

I brought my daughter stupidly not reading the scan letter properly, as I had been allowed at another hospital in EPU twice. My husband had to wait outside with her. We were both really upset and tbh it ruined the good news of the scan but they allowed her in after everything was confirmed to be ok. Maybe speak to the hospital to see if they will allow that?