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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Booking in appointment - did your partner go with you?

41 replies

Andromeida59 · 14/05/2019 08:36

Hello, I have my first appointment with the midwife on Thursday. Did your partner go with you to your first one?

Thank you

OP posts:

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Hermano · 14/05/2019 08:40

Mine did for DC1, he came to every midwife appt as well as scans. DC2 he came to scans only, the rest are so mundane that it didn't feel worth taking the time off work, we chose for him to keep good will re work hours for picking DC1 up from nursery when poorly, taking her when sick for a day etc

Teddybear45 · 14/05/2019 08:42

Yes

Inthesky42 · 14/05/2019 08:43

It's very long and not particularly exciting. My DH is only coming to the scans!

Original poster

Andromeida59 · 14/05/2019 08:47

Thank you for your replies. My DP wants to come with me so I was just curious. This is our first so all very exciting.

OP posts:

WildFlower2019 · 14/05/2019 08:47

First one he did, second one he couldn't because of work, but he did want to come.

The appointment really is long and boring, so if he can't come he's not missing much. My DH just sat in a chair for an hour and listened mostly! You're basically just answering health questions, filling in forms and giving a blood sample.

homemadegin · 14/05/2019 08:51

No, never to midwife. He did come to some scans, but I had a lot so not all of them. He always came to consultant appointments

Teddybear45 · 14/05/2019 08:55

My husband was asked about his medical history too. So I don’t understand all the posts above!! He was asked about genetic conditions within his family, had blood taken for thalessemia trait and to assess his blood group too.

Angelinthenightx · 14/05/2019 08:56

No he diddnt and u just end up getting asked lots of questions that your husband will get asked to leave when being asked,takes forever.

cocomelon23 · 14/05/2019 08:56

No he didn't. It's just boring stuff like form filling etc.

justforthis7 · 14/05/2019 09:03

Yes but mine is self-employed and works from home so it was easy for him to do so. If your DP can, it's nice, as you get a lot of info about what's to come. But equally, it's not something you need a handhold for it anything special he'll be missing out on

FogCutter · 14/05/2019 09:07

Mine didn't and I didn't need him there, it's just boring Q&As and form filling!

Although you will be asked about family medical history so make sure you ask him if there's anything on his side of the family the midwife needs to know about.

He came to the 12 and 20 week scans though.

Youvegotafriendinme · 14/05/2019 09:08

With DS he did but when I was pregnant the second time, less than 2 years latter, it stated very clearly on my letter that he wasn’t allowed otherwise he would have

crosser62 · 14/05/2019 09:08

No, scans only.
I know his medical and family history.
It was time off work that he couldn’t get and anyway it would have been a waste of time, he needed the time off much later, saved it all for when it mattered to us most.

SoHotADragonRetired · 14/05/2019 09:10

He did the first time, but it was a bore and he needn't have bothered.

Didn't the second time.

sleepstealer · 14/05/2019 09:14

No, it's long with form filling formality. He only came to midwife appointments when I was overdue as he was working from home anyway.

Came to all scans, including extra growth scans.

SplashPad · 14/05/2019 09:16

He did with both dc but simply because they were both done at home on a Saturday so he was there anyway. He wouldn't have come otherwise.

Cottonwoolmouth · 14/05/2019 09:19

Dh came to dd2, it’s really long and he got asked to leave anyway whilst I got asked about any abuse. I didn’t even ask him for dd3.

Lauren83 · 14/05/2019 09:24

Mine didn't, it was just boring paperwork. He didn't come to any midwife appts but did come to both scans for both pregnancies.

Hermano · 14/05/2019 09:38

Just wanted to add an alternative view to all those saying it was very boring so he didn't come... The woman has no choice, and it's a joint effort making a child so unless there is a strong reason why the man can't come, isn't it nice that he shares the tedious job of filling in forms? Feels a bit like one of those wife work things which women get lumbered with, so having a partner to be present and share the time is actually quite nice?

Just a thought...

OP if DH is willing and able to come definitely don't put him off, it'll be nice to share, and good for him to understand what you're going through

Nuttyaboutnutella · 14/05/2019 09:41

He came for dc1 to the booking in appt, scans and 36wk appointment where the birth plan was discussed. This pregnancy, he only came to the scans.

SoHotADragonRetired · 14/05/2019 09:42

isn't it nice that he shares the tedious job of filling in forms?

Generally the midwife does the actual filling. All the dad can do is answer questions about his family's medical history, which takes about 2 minutes. I mean, anyone is free to bring their partner if they or he really wants, but apart from a bit of information you can easily get off him in advance he's a bit of a spare part during the appointment, and in many areas they will ask him to leave for a bit so they can talk to you privately about previous obstetric history and resources for domestic abuse.

Cherylshaw · 14/05/2019 09:43

No, he just came to the scans

Celebelly · 14/05/2019 09:43

No, I preferred him to spend his time off on scan appointments. I also wanted to meet my midwife myself and start building a relationship with her.

The medical questions are very straightforward. If you've been together for a while you'll know the answers - they're not interested in second cousins twice removed! My DP didn't need his blood taken or anything like that, don't think that's usual unless there's additional risk factors.

Darkstar4855 · 14/05/2019 09:49

No, just scans but if yours wants to come I would let him. It’s nice that he wants to be involved.

Original poster

Andromeida59 · 14/05/2019 09:49

Thankfully, his work is very flexible so he just chooses his hours. I'm not going to stop him if he wants to be involved.

OP posts:

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