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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Booking in appointment - did your partner go with you?

41 replies

Andromeida59 · 14/05/2019 08:36

Hello, I have my first appointment with the midwife on Thursday. Did your partner go with you to your first one?

Thank you

OP posts:

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Rememberallball · 14/05/2019 09:52

Yes, DH came with me to the booking appointment - I don’t know much about his family medical history (to be fair he couldn’t answer all the questions either because his family don’t seem to talk about health matters or even pass on what my family would know pretty automatically) so he answered what he could of that part of the form filling. He was not asked to leave when the midwife asked about my past obstetric history and she did not ask about domestic abuse (and didn’t at my next appointment either). The twins are as much his babies as they are mine so he will come to every appointment that he can get to - and will be involved in any decision making processes about mine and the babies care.

Lllot5 · 14/05/2019 09:56

Ages since I had mine but I think they ask you about dv and any other private stuff.
Don’t think I had scan with mine really can’t remember.
I used to go on my own was as local gp surgery so no hardship.

EdajOvor · 14/05/2019 12:46

Mine did, he didn't come into the actual room at first, but then I was asked a lot of medical questions regarding his family history, so it is handy to have them there if you can.

MsSquiz · 14/05/2019 12:54

I've just come from mine, and DH came with me. Like yours, he can be flexible with work and wants to come to as many of the appointments & scans as he can.

The midwife asked him his details and family history questions. And that was it. He was also present for the questions about our relationship and my gynae history, although for the sexual health question she just showed me the question and asked me to point out if I had had any of them.

They advised it could take an hour, we were out after half an hour, and that included taking blood and a urine sample

Xyzzzzz · 14/05/2019 12:56

Only to the booking appt cause we didn’t know what to expect with it being our first. After this only the scans. Took my mum with me to the diabetes test only cause she insisted.

Bear2014 · 14/05/2019 13:00

No not for either DC. It really is super tedious. Assuming he has to use annual leave, I would definitely save it for when you need him more.

HoldOnToHope · 14/05/2019 13:00

My partner didn't come to the booking appointment & the midwife told me they'd rather the partner didn't come as they have DV questions to ask which they need to ask when you're on your own.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 14/05/2019 13:00

No mine didn’t come, never even occurred to me to bring him since it’s literally a form-filling exercise. He came to the scans only.

Megan2018 · 14/05/2019 13:02

No. It was over 2hrs and completely boring. He would have had to take it as unpaid leave and it wasn't worth it at all.
We have had 3 scans so far and he came to each of those, plus I have 3 more scans to come.
I go to the MW appointments on my own though and will probably see the consultant on my own too as it's at a really inconvenient time.

DonnaDarko · 14/05/2019 13:04

Nope, and I was able to answer the questions about his family history without him, although the midwife said they're more interested in mine than his.

He only came to the scans and then the later appointments when I was huge, so he could give me a lift and hear DS on the Doppler machine. I was lucky that my community midwives only did weekend appointments so he could come to them all!

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2019 13:05

No. There was no need for him to be there. He came to most of the scans and consultant appointments (was away for some of them).

Personally for us we didn't feel the need for him to be there, I had to be there because I'm the pregnant one. I am a nurse though so was able to accurately tell him what was said and ask the right questions etc.

Chinks123 · 14/05/2019 13:05

He did for dd, hasn’t for this pregnancy as last time they asked him to leave to ask about DV and he ended up sat outside. It’s nice if he wants to come and be part of it but it’s not expected for partners to come like it is to scans. Dp doesn’t come to midwife appointments either as it’s literally heartbeat, bloods then out of the door.

londonliv · 14/05/2019 15:06

Nope, just the scans. Whilst my work allowed for time off for all appointments his only allowed for time off for scans. Tbh it wasn't necessary for him to be there. They do ask about partners medical history but I knew all that anyway.

Triskaidekaphilia · 14/05/2019 15:23

Yes, he's come to all of them. He starts work quite late so doesn't generally need to book time off. I've said he doesn't have to as a lot of them are quite boring but I think it helps him feel involved. Glad he came to the last one (28 weeks) though as we heard baby's heartbeat for the first time!

Samind · 14/05/2019 16:02

Mine didn't as if was just loads of questions and tbh it went on for ages 😂😂 my midwife was great so was chuffed with her throughout. They do ask about domestic violence and mental health.

After that appointment, it's usually hand in a urine sample and heartbeat checks with bloods occasionally. I don't know what standard checks are in every practice though.

Good luck and congratulations!

mistermagpie · 14/05/2019 17:10

Mine did, both times. He wasn't asked to leave at any point either! Yeah it's boring but it's his baby too so he can be bored by it as well.

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