2 miscarriages and losing hope

[Rmac90]

Hi ladies
I had a miscarriage in December last year and another one 2 weeks ago. I was 7 weeks with my first and 8 weeks with my second. I asked the hospital could they do some tests incase there is something wrong with me but they said i need to have 3 miscarriages before they will do any tests and to "just try again".
When i had my first miscarriage i was told “theres a very slim chance of it happening again” so just try again which i did, it happened again so i am beginning to think i cant carry a baby. I only found out I miscarried the second time because i paid for a private scan because i was so anxious. Both my mc were different the first one i had bleeding for 2 weeks which i was told it was probably implantation bleeding, then i miscarried on the 27th December. The second time everything was fine no bleeding had all the pregnancy symptoms, i still had them when i got told the baby had no heartbeat. I am petrified to try again incase i have another miscarriage because physically and mentally i dont think i will be able to cope. Everyone around me seems to be announcing there pregnancies some days i feel like I am on a downward spiral and i cant talk about it face to face with my partner because i hate getting upset in front of people so i just bottle it all up inside. Does anyone have any success stories after 2 miscarriages in a row? i am losing all hope :(

Hello!
Really sorry for your losses....
I had a missed miscarriage last July was absolutely heartbroken, it was my first pregnancy and we were so excited and really didn't expect it.
I got pregnant again in January, found out on New Year's Day- had a private scan at 8 weeks the baby had a heartbeat but measured 2 weeks behind...I started bleeding the day after and miscarried the day after that.
I didn't have a period following my 2nd miscarriage and discovered we were pregnant again!!
Thrilled and petrified at the same time!

I had my first scan last Friday, measured at 13 weeks and 2 days and everything looked fine.

Try again when you feel your ready and remember new egg new sperm new baby....there is nothing to suggest this will happen again for you...we were told that unfortunately the majority of time it is just bad luck.

Good luck xx

Yes I had 2 miscarriages then a baby. I know how you're feeling. I actually went and had a load of tests privately and I had high natural killer cells which I then went on to have treatment for. Honestly it could go either way - you could go on and the next one could be fine or there could be an underlying issue which is probably treatable. If money isn't a problem go and get a load of private tests, if this isn't affordable then do your best to get your body in the best shape - get to a healthy weight, don't eat a sugary diet, consider acupuncture / chinese medicine even if you don't think it's your thing....

Thanks for the replies ladies!
Its so nerve racking! When me and my partner found out we were expecting the first time we were so excited, the second time i couldn't get excited and i didn't even want to talk about it until we hit the 12 week mark but that didn't happen again. So if we try again im going to be a nervous wreck until we get our first scan! And people don't understand how you are feeling/going through unless it has happened to them. If it hasn't they saying "ah its fine you are young just try again" not what you want to hear when you are going through the toughest time :( xx

I had two very early miscarriages and then a baby (though needed ivf to get pregnant again after the chemicals as it just wasn't happening). It's awful.

Statistics are on your side though!! Approx 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Approx 7% will have two in a row. Three in a row drops to 1-2%. Honestly (and I know this is hard to hear as I didn't want to hear it), there is unlikely to be anything wrong with you. It's possible, but unlikely. It's far more likely that there chromosomal issues with the embryos that meant they couldn't survive.

It's shit. I'm sorry you've been through it. Please try to stop blaming yourself and your body. Be kind to yourself.

Physicskate congratulations that is lovely news! Hopefully when we try again it will be 3rd time lucky with no issues :) thank you for sharing your experience give me hope xx

Miscarriage is horrible and soul destroying and you just grieve and grieve.

Let me give you some hope. I tried and failed to have a baby for 14 years. I had 3 miscarriages and 14 rounds of IVF. I ended up with twins which were perfection.

I’m just about to have a very unexpected and naturally conceived baby without even a hint of a miscarriage or pregnancy problem.

I hope you get here , it doesn’t make up for the babies you have lost though, they stay with you. I wish after my miscarriages I had had some counselling, because my sorrow and loss blighted my life for years.

Xxxx

Aww pegaroo so sorry to hear about your loses! And so happy to hear about your babies :) I just hope 3rd time round everything will be okay because i don't think i could deal with another mc mentally or physically! Its draining and soul destroying especially when everyone around you are announcing there exciting news xx

It’s the worst. I cut myself off from friends having babies and it was such a mistake. Try and stay sane x

Hi @Rmac90, I’m in the exact same boat - two MCs one last year and another in January. Just starting to try again now, so I completely understand your anxiety. Have you spoken to your GP? I was referred for some counselling and it has done me the world of good.
Try to remember, as many have said above, the likelihood is that we have just been very unlucky. Any new pregnancy will be a different sperm and egg. Try to look after yourself, I’ve been getting back in to running after a very rough couple of months and it’s really helped, along with general self care - little things like a long bath in the evening or booking myself in for a nice facial in a spa at the weekend! Take the steps to look after yourself and you will get there, and have your BFP and healthy pregnancy :) wishing you the best of luck.

Hi @MrsEG,
I have the doctors on the 23rd May, I'm not very good at talking to people about it face to face as I'm so used to bottling it all up inside! But I think if its offered to me I will try counselling, good luck trying again for a baby I hope it all goes well this time for you :) x

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I had 2 m\cs, then a baby, then 2 more m\cs, then another baby, then another m\c, and then my third baby. I had every test going, there was no clear definitive cause, possibly due to mild PCOS. I went to a private fertility clinic for tests and took various prescribed medications in case it might help. Well I got there in the end with a lot of heartache and perseverance. It’s hard to believe it happened now that chapter is closed. You most definitely can have a successful pregnancy with your history so don’t give up hope.

I had 4 pregnancies, 2 mc and 2 went fine

I was told one of the most common causes is lupus so if you can get a test for that it's worth it as it's easily treatable

Sorry for your losses and all the best for the future

Thanks so much for your replies ladies its giving me a little hope from your stories and hopefully i will have a success story soon :) xxx

I had 3 misscarriages. 1 at 12 weeks, 2 at 8 weeks. Then I had a healthy girl ( now ages 19) then another misscarriage ( on my birthday at 9 weeks) then another healthy girl ( now 13). Just keep going hun. It’s more common than you think unfortunately.

I lost my first baby, but was successful with my second.

One friend was fine with her first, then lost two, then fine with her fourth.

Another friend lost her first and second and then was fine with her third.

Don't give up hope, it's a really tough journey but no reason to think it won't work out for you XX

Please don’t give up hope. I had 2 losses last year & I thought there was something wrong with me & I would never be able to carry a child. However I am now 18 weeks pregnant & so far all is good. I wish you all the luck in the world for the future x

I'm so sorry for your losses.
It feels insurmountable but there can be hope. I had 2 mc in a row (12 weeks and 5 weeks) then a healthy baby and now 32 weeks pregnant with second baby. No issues (so far) this time. Had bleeding early on with my successful pregnancy. I worried the whole way through and feel it contributed to my pnd but much more confident this time. Once you've suffered mc you are likely to worry about being able to sustain a pregnancy but I really hope you've just been very unlucky and you will get your baby. Good luck to you - just wanted to add another success story for you

I'm so sorry your going through this op, it's just utter shit. I had a missed miscarriage at 9wks then four months later had another one and they were both soul destroying. I wanted another baby so desperately but couldn't face going through another miscarriage. I was lucky and my gp referred me for tests which came back clear but I was so afraid to try again. I didn't actively try but didn't actively stop it either, it took two years but now I have a healthy two and a half year old. I was petrified the whole 8 and a half months but I think that's only natural. There is hope op and I hope you will get your rainbow baby.

Thanks so much ladies!! Im so happy you all have happy successful stories :) maybe i have just had a run of bad luck! So hoping 3rd time lucky for me xxx

I had two miscarriages, no investigations, a 3rd successful pregnancy with my now 3 year old and am now pregnant again - 20 weeks. Definitely recommend talking about your feelings with someone as I was mess with anxiety during my last pregnancy

So sorry for your losses. Reading on here still can’t believe how common it is but nobody talks about it.

I also had two miscarriages last year and am now 10 weeks - so far so good but still not out of the woods.

Like others have said try to be kind to yourself and don’t blame your body. It always seems so easy for everyone else doesn’t it, but it’s important to try not to compare yourself - every woman, every body and every pregnancy is different

There is no doubt in my mind that you have just had bad luck. I have had 11 pregnancies in all, including 6 miscarriages. They can be soul destroying. Mine alternated. There was no real reason for them. Just bad luck. Please don't be despondent. I know it's dreadfully hard. But I am sure you will have your much wanted baby soon.

@AloneLonelyLoner aww 6!! Im so sorry to hear that! Its awful having one let alone 6! I hope you a right with it just being bad luck 🤞🏼 xx

Hi all, it's so sad to here everyone's losses but so great to here about all the successes after losses. I have just found out I'm pregnant for the 3rd time, my first 2 both ended in miscarriage, the first in Septemer 2017 at 7 weeks found out at 9 weeks and the second in March 2018 also at 7 weeks found out at 11 weeks. I'm currently 5 weeks it has taken us a while to conceive this time and I just want to be happy that we finally have caught but I'm worrying about everything, lack of symptoms, fluctuating symptoms and then worrying about worrying. Hearing all of the successes on a third pregnacy after 2 miscarriages is helping me to try and remain positive. We need to talk more about this us women and men as for some reason it's a unspoken thing and many people suffer in silence, I know personally that talking has helped me massively from coming to terms with the miscarriages and trying again. It's my first time ever posting on something like this, I read them all the time and hear so many stories from amazingly strong women and its something that has definitely helped me along the way.

@Henry1693 sorry to hear of your loses also! And congratulations on this pregnancy and i hope everything goes well for you 3rd time around 🤞🏼 x